E-mails from an Asshole

DontEvenReply.com

E - m a i l s f r o m a n a s s h o l e

Incompetent Phone Repairman

Posted at: 2011-05-01 21:53:01

Original ad:
PHONE BROKEN? NO PROBLEM! ***PHONE REPAIRS***
We can fix any phone problem, and fast! Have your phone fixed while you wait. Water damage? No problem. Cracked screen? No problem. Low prices! Customer satisfaction is our priority.
We are located off of Rt 3 near Upper Darby.

From Me to ***********@*********.org:

Hi there,

I'm not sure what happened, but my phone simply stopped working last night. I was talking on it and it suddenly shut off and won't turn on. Do you think you would be able to repair it?

Mike

From Will ******* to Me:

We most certainly can fix it. What kind of phone is it?

From Me to Will *******:

Oh, I'm not sure...I'm not too good when it comes to technology. If I took a picture of the phone, would you be able to tell?

From Will ******* to Me:

Yes. Or you could check near the battery cover and find the model number.

From Me to Will *******:

I'm not sure how to get to the battery cover. I'll just send you a picture of it:

Mike

From Will ******* to Me:

Holy Christ! What the hell did you do to that thing?!

From Me to Will *******:

I'm not sure...I think I might have dropped it.

Mike

From Will ******* to Me:

...into a fire?!?!?!

From Me to Will *******:

No, I think I'd remember if that happened. So when can I bring it in to your shop?

Mike

From Will ******* to Me:

Seriously? We can't fix that, it is burned to a damn crisp! FYI that is a Blackberry, and you may as well buy a new one - that one is ruined.

From Me to Will *******:

This is an outrage. Allow me to quote your ad: "we can fix any phone problem."

Why can't you fix mine? Is this your idea of "customer satisfaction" ?

Mike

From Will ******* to Me:

Look, asshole, most phone problems are cracked screens and water damage, which we can fix. What are we supposed to do with a melted hunk of plastic that used to be a phone?

From Me to Will *******:

You tell me. You're supposed to be the expert. Perhaps you should change the wording of your ad so you stop tricking people into thinking you can fix their phones when you can't.

Mike

From Will ******* to Me:

Perhaps you should go fuck yourself.

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(As said upwards...)

Hannibal->ToHannibal (2012-06-21 16:38:19)
Well, maybe not THAT awesome, there are too many stereotypes. It's just a shame that people are influenced by bad talking so much. But hell, I�m lucky that those ppl ehre aren't representative for Americans^^

To To ToHannibal (2012-06-21 08:15:16)
Germany is too awesome to count.

To ToHannibal(dafuq) (2012-06-19 06:32:42)
Germany. Yeah, I'm not kidding. I guess Germans would be pissed, too. But they wouldn't start insulting the other person before like the 4th E-Mail. I was just kinda dazed cause those people lost their patience since the second RE, I wasn't a

ToHannibal (2012-06-18 02:23:57)
Where you from in the world buddy? I'm really curious to know where these people that don't get pissy when trolled live so I can move there and exploit the hell out of them.

Hannibal (2012-06-17 10:59:45)
Why does everyone instantley start insulting Mike? Do Americans have some ind of problems with their rage control? Why not just keep your kindness?

Guilherme (2012-06-15 17:52:31)
"perhaps you should go fuck yourself" fuck me this made me laugh

Duff-Man (2012-06-15 08:16:27)
The phone-repair guy could have just proposed to buy a new phone. Then, if this was a real offer, he could've charged the unassuming customer the price of the phone AND any surcharge for the "repair". Instead, he bitches around and insults his

Argl (2012-06-15 06:05:32)
LOLed hard at "i think i might have dropped it"...."into a fire?!?!?!

Konrad (2012-06-15 06:03:15)
The neighbours must think I've gone mad. I've been laughing straight for the past hour. Hilarious stuff!

Mor�s (2012-06-14 19:12:15)
Did you really burn my phone? I recognise the little scratch at the display. I've been looking for it for over a year!

invez (2012-05-24 16:40:36)
"I'm not sure...I think I might have dropped it." that made my day :D

Josh (2012-05-18 19:08:22)
lol and you were talking on that thing when it stopped working :)

HAHAHA0 (2012-05-16 19:42:05)
` how the fuck that happened to your blackberry ! XD

wow (2012-05-16 03:50:39)
wow

Tye (2012-05-06 05:53:34)
Ahahahahahaha! lmao i always laugh after the picture when he says "holy christ!" i can't help but laugh. aha.

Jim (2012-05-05 16:05:37)
You are seriously funny.

1937 (2012-05-03 20:58:10)
I think it's real. Poor guy was trying to call 911 to advise of a house fire?

not fake, fuck off. (2012-04-28 07:06:04)
"This is an outrage." I couldnt take it, I just burst out laughing at that line.

jeremy (2012-04-27 23:26:59)
this is real call an independent computer or phone repair shop that is not a corporation and they will do almost exactly that wasting time with customers can become costly billable hours vs. lost time equals no profits!

Monica Mattos (2012-04-27 21:39:09)
Faked

Yeah (2012-04-26 23:16:22)
Fake and bullshit.

Shayne (2012-04-03 14:11:55)
I literally cried of fucking laughter when i saw the fucking phone holy shit i had to leave class LMFAO

izzz (2012-03-24 01:08:26)
my favorite one by far hahaha. "I'm not sure...I think I might have dropped it." lmfao!!!!

Bitches (2012-03-11 08:25:30)
Only bitches read this, that means YOU bitch

Pierre's brain (2012-02-23 22:24:21)
I don't exist!

jaret (2012-02-16 16:02:50)
Fuck Yeah!!!!!!!

q (2012-02-09 10:42:21)
ommfg thats hilarious. My mom has caught me laughing alone. . . Ive got a bad feeling about this

gdfgs (2012-02-09 00:12:31)
That guys missed out on some potential profit :p

worryaboutit (2012-02-08 23:48:34)
i love how quickly you are able to get people to refer to you as asshole

DavidC (2012-02-03 11:17:29)
This is awkward reading at work. I'm really trying not to burst out laughing, but then the picture came. Damn.

Michael (2012-01-28 00:26:32)
Possibly the only time the person getting trolled has said something funnier than the troll himself.

Sly (2012-01-21 19:18:44)
GD That was too dam funny!

anonymous (2012-01-20 12:28:05)
lolololol just simply stopped working.

JP (2012-01-15 17:35:48)
Nobody gives a fuck about your so-called "life". Update the site, you piece of shit. I DEMAND to be entertained!!!

lolgurrrl (2011-12-28 17:13:00)
thats freakin funny ~~~<3lolgurrrl

Dwelshile (2011-12-26 17:41:06)
Fiat 500 jest wystarczający dla potrzeb singli lub młodych par, którym raczej nie jest wymagany duży samochód. Mimo tego, że znajduje się w nim tylna kanapa, to nie należy ona do najpraktyczniejszych, pomimo że

Brian (2011-12-24 10:37:04)
I also laughed my head off about this one

Sube (2011-12-23 00:34:02)
Agree with Pierre. Fake and bullshit. But funny.

Justin ******* (2011-12-21 10:52:35)
Lol wtf

C-Diddy (2011-12-17 18:23:43)
Too funny. I love these kinds of conversations. I love having them and I love being a part of them. People really should think before they speak. LOL. Keep them coming.

Pierre (2011-12-11 03:00:31)
Fake and bullshit

sticky (2011-12-03 20:06:56)
Please do MORE!!!!

Erin is Fabulous <3 (2011-11-30 15:44:31)
this entire site is HIGHlarious!! <3

Papi M (2011-11-28 06:20:01)
This is some funny shit!!!!!!

anonymous (2011-11-28 01:31:23)
This is funny love it.

Rob (2011-11-25 05:11:09)
Best troll ever

Oilfield Junky (2011-11-22 22:10:37)
Freaking hilarious......

csully (2011-11-22 14:29:29)
Read this during class and busted out laughing....awkward.

Just4Fun (2011-11-17 13:36:03)
Phillip Harredin! it's not about getting the phone fixed,it's about the ad the moron wrote! Learn how to read!!!! So now tell us, Do you feel like a "Fucking idiot" now?

CaptSlappy (2011-11-17 11:57:40)
I laughed so hard, I cried.

Robin S (2011-11-15 13:09:44)
LOOL THIS MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD, REALLY. THIS IS SOO FUNNY!

Nys (2011-11-13 10:21:36)
This was hilarious lol.

hilarious (2011-11-12 22:18:00)
Wow, I also totally lost it when I saw the picture. As I continued reading I just couldn't stop laughing!!!

Linda (2011-11-11 19:31:07)
into a fire?!?! HAHAHAHA

Tom (2011-10-23 15:10:56)
My favorite: "Perhaps you should go fuck yourself".

ally (2011-10-10 19:46:10)
OMFG THATS GREAT

Brienne (2011-09-29 14:01:17)
@daniel: I agree 100% with you. We need to know who to avoid so we can avoid them.

Dickmus Poppingmore (2011-09-11 04:50:20)
Oh. My. God. When I scrolled down and saw the picture I just completely lost it. Good on ya!

nicefuckingphone (2011-09-02 14:43:22)
the picture is awesome.

David (2011-08-23 12:23:14)
My favorite part about this is the guy being trolled here is actually a pretty funny dude.

hopiaman (2011-08-17 15:28:17)
thats how dum americans are

Alyss (2011-08-13 22:44:33)
the end was the best!

lmao :D (2011-08-09 10:05:31)
This one is in my top 5 it really made my day plz plz plz post more and btw the new ones are funnier to me

cheryl pug (2011-08-06 23:07:01)
hallarius

Ugo (2011-07-26 05:58:19)
I really like when people don't get trapped into your asshole conversations. And actually are being assholes as well. That makes your emails even better, I believe!

Annie (2011-07-26 02:18:58)
Awesome. Love this site

Ryan (2011-07-22 14:29:23)
How about the people commenting on this getting trolled by the troll while reading a website about a trolling trolling people. How does that even happen? LOL! Legendary.

anonymous (2011-07-19 07:35:58)

hotdayum (2011-07-18 01:19:43)
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD FUCK YOURSELF SIR GOOD DAY :)

Me (2011-07-16 02:53:13)
@Jeremy: Of course it isn't. Just laugh & enjoy the funny jokes.

Chaobin (2011-07-14 02:20:29)
I feel sick today, and got no mood doing anything in the office. When I come back to read this one, oh man, it's dame hilarious.

RoyalRomi (2011-07-13 04:00:08)
Bravo Sir. Your site is hilarious and I think this is the funniest post up here.

Merp (2011-07-11 08:13:37)
Chill Winston!! Angry troll watchers need to take a fucking chill pill. Better yet, attempt to re-create this gag yourself! I doubt the energy and time to create these little pockets of funny are as easy to come by as your constant need for instant sti

Phillip Harredin (2011-07-09 13:34:30)
doesn't he realize that he can't get that fixed? the guys a fucking idiot

Vagina (2011-07-08 14:34:58)
If I was the phone repairman I would have taken the phone and bought a new one and just charge the guy the money.

Nakaramua (2011-07-04 04:23:25)
wow, there are quite a lot idots in the world, it's like it would be guy's first day at work, he get angry so easily

daniel (2011-07-03 22:04:13)
considering that this people call people assholes, and telling them to go fuck themselves, I have to wonder why you insist on censuring their names. I think you should leave them open so people know what stores to avoid.

angibonesz (2011-06-30 17:20:20)
HA-larious!!

s (2011-06-25 03:40:52)
i needed a laugh really bad haha

vdollyn (2011-06-16 10:49:05)
I could imagine the expression on that guy's face when he read "I think I may have dropped it!" I simply lost it! Loll!

Myra Arif (2011-06-15 20:45:50)
Funny as hell !! :D

Chad (2011-06-14 23:16:14)
I almost removed your site from my favorites. It's been a loooong time. Glad I didn't.

Jazmyn (2011-06-14 15:38:25)
I love the "perhaps" at the end. So classy. LOL

vishal (2011-06-14 12:24:04)
oh my god, you are real fuking crazy!!! i cant stop my laugh,

Ann (2011-06-14 11:43:16)
Hillarious

MacSpeedy (2011-06-13 04:57:02)
Ialmostfaintedwhenisawthatpic.IJUSTCntstoplaughing!!!

Kris (2011-06-12 06:42:57)
This was one of the best XFD

anonymous (2011-06-09 21:12:17)
ahahhahaha

jesus (2011-06-09 18:27:35)
Funny LOL

Sophie (2011-06-06 21:16:37)
Funny stuff :) and people, relax, its still worth a good laugh.

Odaval (2011-06-06 13:19:23)
lmfao! perhaps you should go fuck yourself! HAHAHAHA

'CarlIsARetard'IsARetard (2011-06-06 09:43:03)
CarlIsARetard,can you see the irony in your post?

melita (2011-06-04 20:41:54)
helloooooo!!

anonymous (2011-06-02 13:58:09)
fucking lol'd at the "I'm not sure...I think I might've dropped it" hahaha brilliant

Jeremy (2011-06-01 23:10:55)
Is this real? Would a company really curse at potential customers over an internet message?

anonymous (2011-05-31 20:39:05)
lol timeless. these dont stop getting funny :)

Snickerdoodle (2011-05-28 11:11:34)
The funny part is that the man yelled "Holy Christ!" and later on said "...Into a fire?!". Christ? Fire? Religon? Anyone see the hellish reference?

united11 (2011-05-27 16:29:13)
haha love the last 3 posts

DocFuzion (2011-05-26 10:39:10)
Gotta love it...never fail to make me laugh for sure. My co-workers always love my posts from this site to them...working in CS and Sales I've had clients like this actually. "I might have dropped it." bwahahahhaaha!

AHAHAA (2011-05-25 20:06:52)
I'm laughing SO goddamn hard that picture is priceles. Anyone who doesn't like this post can go fuck themselves

HELAM (2011-05-25 19:45:38)
Nice customer service asshole. Remind me never to use this phone repair company.

CarlIsARetard (2011-05-25 10:36:10)
Wow Carl, YOU are the idiot for thinking he was being serious.

Carl (2011-05-25 00:30:39)
Wow dude you're an idiot if you thought he was going to be able to fix that

kumkum (2011-05-24 23:29:57)
'..into a fire!?!?' <--- LMAO

n1 (2011-05-24 13:06:18)
is the destruction of this one your job, like it was with cd-player?

Right (2011-05-22 20:46:49)
Yeah a monkey could of, but he didn't

MP (2011-05-22 01:26:08)
Really nice :D More post!

ERROR 404 (2011-05-21 06:49:02)
THE FUNNY CANNOT BE FOUND

LOL@Haters (2011-05-21 06:44:51)
this one is funny as hell. loved the "i think i might have dropped it" and the "you tell me. you're supposed to be the expert". bwahahahaha! oh haters, go fuck yourselves. if you don't like the site, why the fuck are you still

Just Zac (2011-05-21 02:52:18)
Man, I feel sorry for you. It seems like lots of your readers are entitled, whiny bitches. Really, if I were you I wouldn't post anything for a while just so some of them would go away. This was funny as shit by the way. Keep it up.

Albert Ko (2011-05-20 23:18:23)
I HATE IT, IT SUCKS ASS FUCKING SHIT!

Matt (2011-05-20 23:03:45)
"I'm not sure...I think I might have dropped it." Mike ROFL! I think this is hilarious, hahaha

@devin the lame ass (2011-05-20 22:21:10)
Ever heard of the "contest section"? Ever seen a user-made entry there? No? That's because this asshole just can't be arsed. He's jerking off to your mom right now.

kderb (2011-05-20 21:50:06)
They should have been able to fix this phone. Upper Darby is trash so no wonder there was poor customer service. Can I have the SIM card?

Mufassa! (2011-05-20 19:36:52)
"I think I might have dropped it" LMFAO

@devin (2011-05-20 19:09:48)
cood? cood? COOD???? did you never go to school?

yehoshua (2011-05-20 09:18:50)
Looks shopped.

@Relax (2011-05-20 04:10:56)
I agree some of these people should relax, but this one sucked nonetheless.

Relax (2011-05-20 03:36:22)
Let's just relax. You lazy SOB's just have to wait for a post. It isn't that hard, the internet has more things to offer in the meantime. So stop crying and just sit back and relax. I loved this one BTW.

Me (2011-05-20 03:25:08)
I'm writing this from heaven because I died laughing. "I think I might have dropped it." did it for me.

lame (2011-05-19 19:01:31)
a monkey could have written this one

Lucia (2011-05-19 14:23:06)
Comedic genius! Please don't stop!

Jack Worthing (2011-05-19 11:09:10)
Boring ass shit. Now to wait 2 months for an update.

whatthefuck (2011-05-19 09:30:04)
this was utter shit. and whats worse is that i had to wait 6 fucking weeks for it. you sir are a moron. go fuck yourself.

Lol stupid haters (2011-05-18 14:43:06)
This is hilarious and the quality of the 1st ones was honestly not even slightly as good as the new ones. You sir, are a genius. You should just post more.

haters gonna hate (2011-05-17 14:25:34)
thanks for a good laugh. Fuck haters.

Alex (2011-05-17 13:35:24)
I thought it was pretty funny how the sales guy suddenly got aggressive. If I were on the other end and thought this guy was serious I would have laughed and said "well I guess I was wrong about 'any' problem."

anonymous (2011-05-17 10:28:55)
lol this stuff is all hilarious dont listen to people who talk shit.

Geebus Christ (2011-05-17 05:19:52)
What is sad is you had the potential to make this a good one... Like make the guy guess the model, etc. and try to inaccurately describe the problem during several emails. Then the photo of the ruined phone would have worked. You sent it too soon!!!

LMAOOO!!!! (2011-05-17 03:52:21)
Ohhh, best email EVAR!!!!!!1111....... Oh no, wait, it sucked. Big time.

Horsetaint (2011-05-15 20:18:42)
Could have been better; could have been quicker; not sure why the speed and quality has drifted so low for the last several months. Too bad; it started off like a good site, but I think I'm going to delete the bookmark.

teh fuzz (2011-05-15 19:33:27)
ye rly soem kind of a letdown, but I see you probably didn't get any funnier stuff in the meantime, so plx, try harder! :)

Andy (2011-05-15 18:36:14)
Weak! I'm disappointed...after a month of no updates, this is the best you got?

Xuser (2011-05-15 17:51:56)
Your are an big. asshole!

Saltyballs (2011-05-15 15:41:34)
I love to gargle sweaty balls.

anonymous (2011-05-15 07:30:28)
LoL. Where does this guy find all these pics with destroyed furniture/items/electronics? :P

esrsra (2011-05-15 01:21:47)
this one is amazing! gotta love how unprofessional that guy got too.

J (2011-05-14 19:01:27)
From Me to ***********@*********.org: Hi there, I'm not sure what happened, but my phone simply stopped working last night. I was talking on it and it suddenly shut off and won't turn on. Do you think you would be able to repair it? Mike

anonymous (2011-05-13 16:28:15)
perhaps you should go fuck yourself ROFL

BCblaze (2011-05-12 21:31:16)
hey whats the name of this company that can fix water damage i poured a beer onto my phone by accident n none of the places in my town are able to fix it

Jan (2011-05-12 08:55:15)
Hello, I'm Dutch and I'm flatulent, like all Dutch people. *fffaaaaaaarrrtttt*

Derek (2011-05-12 03:24:05)
Please post more often

piece of (2011-05-11 07:47:07)
FUCK

pure comedy gold (2011-05-11 04:19:24)
This is better then "disguised weapons"!! This is your all time best!! LOL!

Gazzalah (2011-05-11 03:52:48)
Its funny cos the guy wants his phone repaired but his phone is really damaged and can't be repaired.

Trololo (2011-05-10 21:24:59)
I laughed so hard that I came

Chris (2011-05-10 19:13:26)
Hmmmm... this would've worked a lot nicer with more believable "straight" responses....say from a repairman with obviously bad grammar because he is foreign...and even changing the subject to start a racist fight. A lot of potential here, miss

George (2011-05-10 17:42:43)
Wow this is gold.

dontevenreplySucksMe (2011-05-10 15:26:04)
God. Another completely made up dialog. Obviously not a real communication thread. Fake.

anonymous (2011-05-10 13:54:15)
LOL! post more often :/

halfFullCup (2011-05-10 07:45:19)
There was no buildup to the burnt phone like there was to the maulled and then burnt CD changer. Now that one was pure gold.

robotman (2011-05-10 07:41:11)
Ehh... I feel you could have done so much more with this. And usually I love it when you incorporate photos.

John Doe (2011-05-10 06:30:58)
I hope you do realize this is not really as good as you can. For the guy that said this is the best one ever - he obviously didn't read any other. GUYS STOP PUSHING HIM.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! (2011-05-10 05:34:31)
Best one you've EVER posted!!!!! I can't breathe here...

Frenchie (2011-05-09 23:34:46)
I'm not sure I think I might have dropped it. Beautiful stuff

God (2011-05-09 22:17:00)
Fucking hilarious.

MOAR (2011-05-09 18:33:03)
This is a long overdue entry. Please post more I can't get enough!!!!

Jordan (2011-05-09 17:33:06)
Not bad but kinda funny

swagharder (2011-05-09 09:10:03)
you are a funny guy. like, heaps funny bro.

lol (2011-05-09 05:33:39)
"Tim (2011-05-03 14:57:44) And to commenter "lol": The assholes are above you" Thanks for admitting you are an asshole . LOL. I meant the ones below my post not above, but you don't want anyone to steal your title. you want to be th

Diego (2011-05-08 23:39:13)
Man, it is your fault to have come up with such hilarious stuff that people get hooked. I wait patiently, sometimes I like one better than the other, but I am ALWAYS greatful. Keep up the good work, and thanks, from Buenos Aires.

Troll (2011-05-08 23:25:13)
My day revolves around this website. When the content isn't to my satisfaction, I bitch on the comments section. You have a responsibility to make me laugh, and when you take a reasonable amount of time between updates, I get upset. This is bad.

Fuck Haters (2011-05-08 19:45:43)
I think this one is hilarious, good work bro!

anonymous (2011-05-08 19:24:49)
I'm not sure...I think I might have dropped it. ...into a fire?!?!?! That's funny! :)

Love it! (2011-05-08 18:48:34)
"I'm not too good when it comes to technology.." then takes a picture and sends to him. I love it!

Kablash! (2011-05-08 16:54:56)
TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH... AND THIS IS FAIL.

Dicky Dribblez (2011-05-08 16:52:34)
I came.

sam (2011-05-08 14:33:44)
omg that is so funny

33MTA3 (2011-05-08 12:31:12)
I chuckled. Perhaps the haters should go fuck themselves.

amazing as usual (2011-05-08 09:09:36)
I just crapped myself from laughing so hard!! lol!!!! This is one of your best ones yet....

ohGr (2011-05-08 02:25:36)
LOLZ! That was funny. Keep up the good work :) I love this site btw, plz update more often :D

Give (2011-05-07 23:42:18)
Him a break guys!! He's doing his best. Personally, I found this hilarious. :D meh, haters will hate. But dude ignore them, AND CONTINUE! I check this page literally everyday. Awesome stuff man.

Wet Pants (2011-05-07 22:20:18)
I must've peed myself a little when I saw the picture.

kingKongKeesha (2011-05-07 21:26:58)
most unexcellent dude

Jesse (2011-05-07 19:46:20)
hilarious. I knew it was going to be good when I saw the picture. keep em coming, you're the master

BEAUTS (2011-05-07 17:24:27)
Not that great babes, but please PLEASE update more because I adore you. x

dickock (2011-05-07 09:45:41)
"Perhaps you should go fuck yourself"

Daniel (2011-05-06 23:51:13)
Very funny!

meow (2011-05-06 21:39:57)
hahahahahahah you are amazing! keep going

Disapointed (2011-05-06 21:28:11)
Really poor effort. Can't believe I checked in nearly every day for this...

lala (2011-05-06 18:18:45)
not that funny, but please post more!!!

Was waiting (2011-05-06 17:53:31)
Jeeezus! The way u guyz are alwayz clamouring for a new post,as if yo sorry lives depended on one...JUST BE GRATEFUL!

ohnoez (2011-05-06 17:49:59)
I think I dropped it. INTO A FIRE?!?!?!? heh...

dixinyerbut (2011-05-06 15:39:05)
didn't even laugh

Mike (2011-05-06 15:33:32)
ATTN Idiots: The repair guy obviously realized he was trolling and was beyond the point of "customer service." Jesus

ScootShack (2011-05-06 15:28:11)
Funny yeah, but disappointing to wait almost 7 weeks for a quickie follow-up on "clumsy seller".

Jeff (2011-05-06 14:52:49)
My day totally sucked...until I checked and saw there was finally a new update. Thanks for making my day instantly better.

ace man (2011-05-06 11:10:22)
Worst one I have ever read, most are gold. this one was very bad,

yeah (2011-05-06 08:36:40)
I agree with the Kentucky Fried asshole here: you revealed your hand way too early. You could have emailed back and forth before sending the pic. Longer setup = bigger payoff.

blokq (2011-05-06 07:02:14)
just epic :D

LOL (2011-05-06 02:43:05)
funniest stuff ever! XD

Big Fan Here (2011-05-05 23:54:38)
You had me when I saw the photo of the phone. Great job!! I don't know if you read these comments but Haters always be hatin' You can't rate one against the other. Each is funny in its own way. Keep up the great work!!

anonymous (2011-05-05 23:31:57)
You're a master of your craft.

joppe (2011-05-05 21:22:43)
1-0, Repair man

BiOzZ (2011-05-05 21:13:10)
if this was a weekly thing id love this but the fact that i waited months for THIS im s bit butthurt

spinblastr (2011-05-05 20:59:55)
Dude, look at what's happening here. This site has the potential to really explode for you. Almost a hundred "critiques" within 24 hours, and you know that by the end of your customary month, they'll be a hell of a lot more. Don't stop

Not so much (2011-05-05 17:50:16)
This one....not funny.

anonymous (2011-05-05 16:35:20)
This is HILARIOUS! keep it coming!

@brianK (2011-05-05 16:28:34)
right? and what are all of these "HAR HAR I GO BUY BOOK NAO SO FUNNEE" comments? John, are you writing these yourself?

mike (2011-05-05 14:36:53)
Awesome!!! Keep em coming!

KFC (2011-05-05 14:12:44)
Nicely done. I would have wasted the guy's time a bit more first by describing the phone and making him guess what type... You probably could have had like 3 or 4 more emails that way.

Hehe (2011-05-05 13:17:04)
I agree. And also better than high-rise fridge delivery.

LOL!!! (2011-05-05 12:16:48)
You've outdone yourself once again. This is better than horse farm!!!!

Six (2011-05-05 10:30:47)
Fucking lulzy.

Andy (2011-05-05 08:40:05)
Hahaha! man make more!!!

Curt (2011-05-05 07:46:27)
Made me laugh so hard, keep up the good trolling :)

nagz (2011-05-05 04:07:14)
*..gums. my 2 cents.

nagz (2011-05-05 04:06:51)
wow! they called the 'customer' asshole after 1 question? this phone repair man has to learn __A LOT!__ about customer oriented thinking. this must be a clumsy teenager in mommy's basement, dickin' around for a bigger allowance on chewing

YOU'RE AMAZING (2011-05-05 03:14:54)
This one is so funny!! lol!! It's convinced me to buy the book.

Pocketq10 (2011-05-05 02:53:59)
Lmao fucking awesome ahhahaahhaahha

Assassin Mary (2011-05-04 23:21:43)
Deep fried phone!!! Lolmfao!!!! XDDD

Sean (2011-05-04 21:26:39)
I love that you've started using pictures in your e-mails. It has added a nice dimension. "I think I might have dropped it." Classic.

Shadowken (2011-05-04 21:03:47)
GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO

Brad (2011-05-04 20:38:56)
Not even funny. You just got pwned by the phone repairman.

mike m (2011-05-04 19:26:49)
INTO A FIRE , YESSS , I,M GONNA BUY THE BOOK KEEP GOING

Garbage (2011-05-04 19:19:29)
That wasn't funny bra

danj (2011-05-04 19:08:22)
come on man... you can do better!!!! Send out like 10 of them at once! Then you should have a good chance of at least getting one good one. QUAKER

joendey (2011-05-04 19:00:29)
Goddamn that is good. I laughed my guts out and set my own phone on fire!

Marci (2011-05-04 15:35:58)
gee, his language isn't very professional

Rodriguez (2011-05-04 14:00:34)
This is your funniest one yet! Keep going, you are the lord! LOL!!

South Sweden (2011-05-04 13:56:20)
This isn't your best one, but it was definitely funny though. No matter of what quality your e-mail conversations are, they are still worth the wait. Respect from southern Sweden!

LMAO (2011-05-04 12:00:11)
This is hilarious I'm gonna buy the book!!!

LOL!!!! (2011-05-04 10:04:02)
HAHAHA this is your best post yet!!! Simply amazing!

brianK (2011-05-04 09:38:37)
this was weak... almost 2 months of wait for this?

Kevin (2011-05-04 09:32:30)
"Perhaps you should go fuck yourself" ROFL

Spheron (2011-05-04 05:01:44)
They snapped because the pic was introduced way too fast and the phone way too deteriorated. Remember the cd player guy? Now that was epic... Each pic messed that thing a bit worse. All in all good job sir on both the short and the long cons.

D-G (2011-05-04 03:37:44)
Goddamn, i love this shizzle! More father, moreeee!

OsameLivesOn (2011-05-04 01:35:26)
@Ching Chong China Fuck you, racist scum.

L (2011-05-04 00:15:44)
I like it. This guy does NOT mess around.

Ching Chong China (2011-05-03 19:52:06)
I'm with the others here... It wasn't the greatest.. made me smile a bit.. but I'm sure the next one will be fanfuckingtastic

Meh (2011-05-03 19:38:42)
........... -_-

LMAO (2011-05-03 17:48:01)
I'm suffocating with laughter here. These posts keep getting better and better!

treefiddie (2011-05-03 17:43:51)
I have to be honest, I think they've all been great...until this one. I don't mind you taking a long time between posts, take all the time you need, just don't sacrifice the quality. Looking forward to the next one.

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL (2011-05-03 15:11:11)
I just pooped myself reading this LOL this is the best email you've ever written. Please continue, sir, you are a comedy genius!! LOLLLLL PS: best one yet

bobvila (2011-05-03 15:01:17)
I dont know about this one. It seems to me like you are responding to yourself. The language used in a lot of the 'them to you' responses seems to be very uniform. Recently the people have been getting angry very quickly, even when not provoked. S

retardville (2011-05-03 15:00:29)
The slow build up to absurdity is what you need to go back to. Not this quick, "Here's my scorched phone" everyone laugh at this photo bit. This is to your other posts what Dumb and Dumberer was to Dumb and Dumber.

Tim (2011-05-03 14:57:44)
And to commenter "lol": The assholes are above you, dumbass.

Tim (2011-05-03 14:56:34)
Not a matter of whining, just stating a fact. This was mildly amusing, but not the best. For those who think this was the incredible, go fuckyoursleves, but first read his legitimately good ones - shaniqua, high rise fridge deliver, concealed weapons - an

Gaz (2011-05-03 14:25:00)
Funny as ever sir, you win my approval. Please ignore the ungrateful haters

Was waiting (2011-05-03 14:10:20)
Very nice but at this rate we a left with only 4 more ths year...

Ricky (2011-05-03 13:53:46)
It was ok..but with such a long time in between your new stuff I would have expected it to be actually funny.. Guess we will find out if you are still funny in 2 months when you post another one.

MarkL (2011-05-03 13:35:02)
OMG! Epic one!

HAHAHAHA!!!! (2011-05-03 12:35:19)
HAHA this is your best one yet!! I can't breathe and I'm shitting myself from laughing so much!!! LOL!!!!

Brian (2011-05-03 12:02:56)
Good one! I enjoy the photo ones the best. Thanks!

Excellence (2011-05-03 11:58:31)
Funny !

Johnny Travolta (2011-05-03 11:44:21)
Not the best really, this one didn't give me a big gay raging boner.

David (2011-05-03 11:31:27)
lol "I'm not sure...I think I might have dropped it." love it. This guy thought you are a good asshole :)

reabellion (2011-05-03 10:45:16)
I thought it was funny, but my opinion doesn't count because I'm a woman.

anonymous (2011-05-03 10:31:24)
i think the guy snapped once mike started calling him out on his ad. LOL

james (2011-05-03 10:26:38)
no way this one is anywhere near believable. Why would someone snap with 1 email? Just disappointing this time.

Tobias (2011-05-03 10:26:17)
Let the haters hate. I thought it was funny, as ususal.

no (2011-05-03 10:22:31)
i would rather just keep reading old ones

delcotimes (2011-05-03 10:14:07)
wow, this one sucked. kinda sounded staged if you ask me. Alot like your other ones, just not funny at all. You need some new shit

Approaching22 (2011-05-03 10:09:25)
Thank you so much!!! This seriously made my day so special. :-)

acehalon (2011-05-03 09:53:46)
This one wasn't your best, I think you should use the same style as your previous one where you introduce more and more whacky stuff until the other person is confused as hell

EricElvis (2011-05-03 09:20:04)
I always love the attachments....!

pawel (2011-05-03 09:13:39)
brilliant !!! :D

anonymous (2011-05-03 09:08:47)
this is one of your best yet. i love when people who are supposed to be professional snap on you

J'rone (2011-05-03 08:20:14)
Oh my god THIS IS GOLD!! This was a really funny one :D

ffs (2011-05-03 07:48:21)
make a better one

pfft (2011-05-03 07:13:09)
What a disappointment... I hope a better one is coming up soon to make up for this.

RedHead (2011-05-03 06:31:59)
I can repair it for twice the price of a new one, by simply replacing it.

lol (2011-05-03 05:43:36)
very funny actually, don't mind the assholes below. they are born whiners .

LAME (2011-05-03 05:38:13)
This is like an unfunny version of the previous one.

haha (2011-05-03 03:28:31)
it was funny. But for your standards this was awfule. What happened =[.

Boom (2011-05-03 03:26:47)
Ending comment is priceless.

Todo (2011-05-03 03:17:52)
Very similar to the previous one. You can do better. Funny though.

Goodcat (2011-05-03 02:11:51)
good one, lol

Silks (2011-05-03 01:54:43)
Not your greatest, but I definitely lol'd at "I think I might have dropped it."

Malcolm X (2011-05-03 01:10:45)
Nah, I always laugh out loud from these. This one didn't catch me.

anonymous (2011-05-03 01:08:03)
how is this like the other one? because something got set on fire? youre an idiot. this one was awesome.

hi (2011-05-03 00:53:14)
boo urns

oh (2011-05-03 00:28:12)
Oh I get it, it's the exact same as the previous one.

someone (2011-05-03 00:19:36)
what a weak one.

qwr (2011-05-02 23:27:07)
hahaha glad to see a new one

john (2011-05-02 23:23:47)
Did you actually burn the phone and break the CD player for these emails?

Randy Felcher (2011-05-02 22:51:51)
Ha, that is funny because BIN LADEN is dead! Yes, he is dead, dead, dead, dead. So everything is funny.

Chris (2011-05-02 22:40:09)
Yes! He's back! I always laugh out loud. Nice work!

Jesus (2011-05-02 22:34:57)
This is funny because he wants the repairman to fix a phone that is burnt to shit.. Everyone knows you can't fix burnt shit

MintBerryCrunch (2011-05-02 22:34:34)
that guy totally lied! he said he could fix any problem! LOL

Add more emails (2011-05-02 22:33:39)
Lol, cracked me up

Menji (2011-05-02 22:33:11)
haahhhaah

=] (2011-05-02 22:21:38)
YES. I LOVE NEW ONES =]]]]]]]]]]

RS (2011-05-02 22:18:09)
Rich

rki (2011-05-02 22:17:58)
HAHAHAHA gotta love the pic

Crapsandviche (2011-05-02 22:17:11)
AHHAAHHAHAAHA Always love the "Perhaps you should go fuck yourself." customer service. Classic America right there.

Wowser! (2011-05-02 22:16:44)
LMAO!

dbick (2011-05-02 22:16:06)
hahahaha brilliant

Xyzqwa (2011-05-02 22:04:11)
Hahaha, this is one of your best ones!

Huhu (2011-05-02 22:00:37)
Hee Haw

Atali (2011-05-02 21:58:14)
First

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This is a collection of e-mails I have sent to people who post classified ads. My goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off.

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