Comatose Grandma Sitter
Posted at: 2009-06-09 01:58:37
What a bitch!
Original ad:
hi there i am a 22 year old female babysitter looking for a job. i am available pretty much all the time so if you need someone to look after your kid, let me know!
From Timmy Tucker to **********@***********.org
Hey,
I saw your ad about babysitting and am very interested. My grandmother is in the hospital and is probably going to die. She is never awake when I am there, and the doctors say she is only awake for about 5 minutes every couple of days. The problem is, I need her to sign a re-drafted will I wrote so I can get all of her stuff when she dies. Right now she has all of her money going to my bitch sister and her family. I don't have the time to sit there and watch her all day because I have better things to do. I need you to sit at the hospital and watch her in case she wakes up, and then make her sign the will. I will pay you $10 an hour for this job.
Thanks,
Tim
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
no thanks that is sick! show some sympathy you prick!
From Timmy Tucker to **********@gmail.com
Obviously I am not offering you enough money. I will pay you $15 an hour, but in return I need you to unplug her life support after you get her to sign the will.
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
YOU ARE FUCKING SICK I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL
From Timmy Tucker to **********@gmail.com
You clearly do not have the right mindset to enter the fast-paced industry of babysitting. I will find a babysitter that has a little bit more balls than you.
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
FUCK OFF
Comments:
JaQuan (2017-01-13 05:29:54)
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Johne233 (2016-08-14 00:52:03)
It is really a nice and helpful piece of info. Im glad that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing. debbegbeddee
Ethica (2016-04-15 08:47:55)
Ppl like you get all the brsian. I just get to say thanks for he answer.
Offucker (2014-06-09 03:02:20)
Shut up, stupid fucknuts. You made me like you. Shitstains.
?????? (2014-02-15 13:26:50)
This guys awesome
police (2013-08-10 15:12:30)
@anonymous 2 comments down. Stfu, hes fantastic
Chrysis (2013-06-23 14:14:18)
Fast-paced industry of babysitting OH GOD LOL
kimaru (2013-06-09 01:22:16)
i will look for a babysitter with more balls than you...haha,damn
anonymous (2013-03-09 01:25:44)
Ehh this guy is pretty amusing. I think he could do better sometimes, but whatever. Don't quit your day job, dude. I keep seeing comments saying he deserves his own show..um no, he doesn't, it would be cancelled after one failed season.
cocoa puffz (2013-02-26 18:08:57)
ding dong peepee muncher
dicksucka (2013-02-26 18:08:35)
cocksucka plays hard ball
LZ (2013-02-25 10:19:05)
I would not only do this job happily, but I'd fuck the old lady for plug pulling compensation.
charger girl (2012-11-13 20:22:18)
They should make a show. You sir are great. Thank you. It may be out of line shit you say but i like that. Need more.
Scuba Steve (2012-11-09 22:23:30)
@DL Links or GTFO
DL (2012-10-09 11:23:09)
Jennifer, it is a true story, it appeared on a local journal after the babysitter alerted authorities.
Sandro (2012-08-31 02:06:41)
This is so great I click the ads to give him some support at no cost to me :D
Macken (2012-07-23 06:49:11)
you sir, are awesome! i havent laughed this much in days! thanx! i suggest u change the interface so that v can comment using our fb login :)
Dude (2012-07-04 02:35:25)
MBK u posted on the wrong email dude.
MBK (2012-06-18 07:46:36)
"Disregard anything I said about a tiger..." ROFLMFAO Muhahahahha
someoen (2012-06-17 20:33:50)
Wtf that is an awesome job, just sit there without really doing anything for 10 an hour??!
:-) (2012-06-17 15:46:44)
She is obviously an idiot, I would do that job.
Iron Man (2012-05-27 10:23:02)
he is really funny!!! dam very good with conversations, indulging people into very serious chat with hilarious comments.
anonymous (2012-05-03 16:44:52)
not one of your best works, didn't like this one
Reducer1 (2012-05-01 14:23:42)
Excellent verbal jousting once again.
melo (2012-04-29 06:41:57)
it totally sux
Random (2012-04-12 20:39:13)
In return, I need you to unplug her life support, I almost died laughing! XD
Yes, this is dog (2012-03-07 21:50:55)
Very funny if you enjoy dark humor. LOL
anonymous (2011-12-10 11:21:31)
i love dick
1337 (2011-11-28 12:43:24)
You clearly do not have the right mindset to enter the fast-paced industry of babysitting. EPIC WIN !!
anonymous (2011-11-10 18:21:39)
THE FAST-PACED INDUSTRY OF BABYSITTING
loldalot (2011-10-15 08:39:25)
"Obviously I am not offering you enough money." - this is golden! :)
AP (2011-10-14 00:38:52)
Gotta love dark humor.
ES (2011-10-07 08:29:34)
Thats how its done (Y)
muppetpuppet (2011-09-27 14:09:22)
LAMO
Jennifer (2011-09-17 13:56:18)
This cannot be real!!! This is horrible!!!
anonymous (2011-09-05 13:42:34)
THIS IS FUCKING PRO KEEP UP THE GOOD JOB AND TRY TO GET NEW MAILS FASTER PLX I JUST CANT WAIT
omgwtflol (2011-07-23 09:38:07)
im also a fucking idiot
omgwtflol (2011-06-26 06:24:38)
I LOL'D HARD AT THIS
Judge (2011-06-01 12:33:07)
Tim ftw
Btw, I'll take 15/hr plus 25% of your grandma's assets.
Danny (2011-05-10 21:30:01)
haha i got the senior annuity ad on the side
Matt (2011-04-29 14:41:22)
Did anyone else get the ElderCare link on the left. That was even better than the emails. haha.
Chaobin (2011-02-25 01:33:11)
"fast-paced industry of babysitting" - how come you could name these crab things in such a shit funny way!!!!
mel (2011-02-24 01:20:49)
wouldn't you just laugh? why do people get so angry. what a hero.
robert (2011-02-13 12:24:01)
very funny
Kimjose (2011-02-12 02:49:20)
That's just wrong, hahahaha
New Fan (2010-12-10 11:26:34)
All of these E-mails are great. Please keep up the great work of pissing everyone off everyone one e-mail at a time.
New Fan (2010-12-10 11:25:58)
All of these E-mails are great. Please keep up the great work of pissing everyone off everyone e-mail at a time.
Mike (2010-11-08 14:37:52)
This is he most brilliant piece of art ever
Anna (2010-10-04 17:12:22)
You're such a dickhead, that's why I love you. =3
LMBAO (2010-09-27 13:12:27)
"You clearly do not have the right mindset to enter the fast-paced industry of babysitting." Hands down the funniest line ever!!!
anonymous (2010-09-21 20:24:28)
LOL one of the ads next to this post is for mattresses
@RealOrFake (2010-09-21 19:24:02)
Your mom should have traded you for a dog and then shot the fucking mutt
anonymous (2010-09-11 18:10:38)
I found it funny, doesn't look like a lot other people did, guess im just an asshole...
@realorfake? (2010-09-09 06:42:24)
Lol, seems that no one else understood your 'tardgasm'regarding the phrase "fuck off". Why are they even reading the posts if they dont understand sarcasm. Fail!
Vlad (2010-07-28 01:56:11)
LMAO @ "You clearly do not have the right mindset to enter the fast-paced industry of babysitting" :)
iLoveNuclearLol (2010-07-20 21:56:03)
FUCK OFF
lol so gay.
@allfraudstermuppets (2010-07-16 21:31:47)
FUCK OFF is not common ? You fucking homos.I say FUCK OFF all the time in emails. Please send me your email address to I can tell YOU to FUCK OFF. NOW FUCK OFF.
@allfraudstermuppets (2010-07-16 21:31:14)
FUCK OFF is not common ? You fucking homos.I say FUCK OFF all the time in emails. Please send me your email address to I can tell YOU to FUCK OFF. NOW FUCK OFF.
57 (2010-07-16 13:00:17)
This guy seems to get 'fuck off' from people as a natural reaction. I don't say it all the time, but in a conversation with this guy? What else can you say.
For the retard (2010-07-13 23:44:06)
Piss in your own mouth you sicko, you would think of that. Nasty.
anonymous (2010-06-30 22:36:09)
hey buddy i have lived on every single continent except Antarctica and i have heard the term fuck off on all of them so go piss in your mouth.
alvez (2010-06-26 14:25:27)
love it ...Right now she has all of her money going to my bitch sister and her family.
Anon (2010-06-25 02:57:46)
@Pügg
Nothing like some good old-fashioned xenophobia. Get an education, you fucking hick.
Pügg (2010-06-23 21:46:30)
@Idiots - "Bloody"? Get off my internet, you stinky-breathed British person. >:(
Idiots (2010-06-22 03:56:28)
Anyone who thjnks 'fuck off is an uncommon phrase is a bloody moron. Not EVERYONE is from the US, retards.
@zack (2010-06-16 23:09:59)
hey zack. Obviously YOU weren't reading close enough. Felix's point was that if the babysitter pulled the plug, she would be out of an easy job... had nothing to do with the will dumbass
Yoshimano (2010-04-28 18:20:08)
"..the fast-paced industry of baby-sitting"! God where did you get that? Great! I loved the "unplug her life-support" part :) You must have french origins for showing such a taste in ba
lack comedy and 2nd degree humour
niggers (2010-04-24 09:11:58)
funny.......i guess.
Alex (2010-04-20 09:44:10)
To the dumb ass who wrote that fuck off is an uncommon term, you're an idiot. I live in Massachusetts and I say that and hear it said by others all the time.
Love it! (2010-04-14 17:35:19)
this is the funniest website i've seen in a long time. i don't care if it's real or fake. Its just down right funny. Keep it up!
Lil-cent Innocent (2010-03-26 09:00:52)
So funy,that's great now keep up
RealOrFake ? (2010-03-25 10:53:51)
Your name should be MoronOrRetard. OMG they use caps... and they use uncommon phrases such as "fuck off"... it has to mean they're fake! ::tardgasm::
ugh (2010-03-22 10:28:14)
zack. think moar pleez. If she didnt unplug it and stayed there she'd get paid 10-15$ an hour, why would she want to unplug it instead of waiting there for free cash.
zack (2010-03-19 01:30:45)
hey felix. obviously you werent reading closely. he said to unplug it AFTER she gets her to sign the will. get some glasses.
RealOrFake (2010-03-18 16:38:49)
Either these responses are fake or edited...too many end in CAPS, have similar grammar style, and use the same phrases (ie. "fuck off"). Although, real or fake, this site is hilarious!
Yawn (2010-03-16 10:49:19)
Boooooring.
mikey (2010-03-15 21:32:20)
u r a faget
Felix (2010-03-15 11:44:54)
That babysitter would be stupid to unplug her. Then the job would be gone.
Stephen (2010-03-15 08:32:02)
Timmy Tucker is from Family Guy. but that was so funny. :D
rofl (2010-03-15 08:17:25)
this is AMAZING. laugh out loud for real!
John (2010-03-14 12:23:41)
This is hilarious. If I was that babysitter I would have taken the job. That's good money.
anonymous (2010-03-14 00:08:18)
Marten you realize these are all fake right?
Marten (2010-03-07 18:01:52)
Respect for Timmy. I would do the same thing. She's not going to care and the babysitter will get the money.. in the end, everybody benefits.
sinep (2010-02-12 01:10:14)
LOL i needed the laugh
J (2010-02-02 14:29:31)
Priceless
Pure Genius (2010-01-19 23:18:31)
LOL "the faced past industry of babysitting"
Bubba (2010-01-09 20:29:09)
Anyone want to be friends?
missy (2009-12-23 03:05:31)
I'll throw in an extra $5 if you kill her afterwards lmao
evann (2009-12-11 15:02:55)
God bless this Mike! These people bite the hook and he reels em'in!LOL
Mylo (2009-12-08 02:57:56)
wow, i am literally dying from laughter (h1n1)
Michael Jackson (2009-12-06 19:48:47)
Anyone who doesn't think he is hilarious is just ignorant!!
PDOT (2009-12-05 12:44:05)
haha laugh my shit out
Jerry (2009-12-01 13:39:02)
lmfao
Jamal (2009-11-29 01:34:03)
Omg
Jeremy (2009-11-23 21:22:25)
This was hilarious, I lol'd at the unplugging her life support part.
cody (2009-10-29 19:50:53)
this guy is a genius.
MBII (2009-10-29 16:57:47)
lol, fast-paced industry
Bamf26 (2009-10-20 18:10:48)
lawlz wtf or not wtf, you're a prick you jackass
wtf or not wtf (2009-10-14 15:20:23)
are you duncan? cuz i recognize the stink of fail that permeates your post
wtf (2009-10-07 10:39:03)
really mature ! rather its a joke or not. its stupid anyways. get the will and let her die ! woowwww . offensive..
bryan (2009-09-21 20:37:41)
that person is a jackass
SSgt Johnson (2009-09-15 17:53:39)
I would take it, I need the money to buy my Jurassic Park SUV.
Shaniqua (2009-09-14 01:09:05)
I will take the job. I need the money to pay for my Ford Explorer.
Jackalope (2009-09-10 19:12:58)
Man, I hardly ever laugh aloud at shit, but this has me cracking up. They are all brilliant. I especially love your perseverence. Obviously, it only takes $5 an hour to euthanize someone.
Burben (2009-09-03 13:34:23)
Why do these people even respond?
graciano (2009-09-03 01:46:27)
pure genius
Patrik (2009-08-31 15:07:54)
omg it was so funny "Obviously I am not offering you enough money. I will pay you $15 an hour, but in return I need you to unplug her life support after you get her to sign the will."
anonymous (2009-08-29 09:46:35)
15 dollars an hour to sit around? I would totally take this job.
tapeslich (2009-08-20 20:34:21)
evil but funny =) want more.
DirtyDanny (2009-08-18 06:55:59)
Make sure it's a Phoenix Red..........or an Alpine White.........or Atlas Grey.............Oh who gives a fuck..........just buy a fucking VN SS and be done with it.
That one's for you Dirty Danny........the chick magnet.....pervert......sex a
VN SS Lover (2009-08-18 03:18:53)
Buy a VN SS............everyone else is...........
Robert (2009-08-18 03:17:54)
Buy a chicken, kill it, cook it, eat it, then watch a porno and masturbate...........wanker
Not_the_internet (2009-08-17 22:21:55)
This is a collection of e-mails yhis guy has sent to people who post classified ads. His goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off. So, they're not actually "on" the internet, but bantering back and forth thru emails... Peo
Nadia (2009-08-17 16:57:59)
Atleast the guy was honest and up front.
Not to get off the subject but I would love to meet Satan's Ballsack. Sounds like my kind of guy.
anonymous (2009-08-17 16:56:03)
Hey
Mike (2009-08-16 06:20:15)
He just didn't offer her enough money. Everyone has their price.
aubreynfitchhbitch (2009-08-04 20:01:42)
i would have been happy to sit there.. i dont what this chick's problem is
mhmm (2009-08-03 21:51:44)
no doubt someones probably thought of acctually doing this...people are messed up but this was fucking funny
rod (2009-08-01 22:47:45)
and you're new at spelling cuss words.
a2z (2009-07-31 22:16:19)
people don't swear on the internet this much? lol person that said that is a fukcing dumbass...clearly u don't use internet much.
Satan's Ballsack (2009-07-31 20:40:06)
Tremendous!
anonymous (2009-07-29 05:51:00)
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
uhh (2009-07-29 01:18:47)
if they both speak english maybe they are from the same area? philly perhaps?
Legit (2009-07-29 00:52:19)
My friends and I did our own an people respond the same exact way...how else are they supposed to respond to something so ridiculous??
Legit (2009-07-29 00:52:18)
My friends and I did our own an people respond the same exact way...how else are they supposed to respond to something so ridiculous??
Legit (2009-07-29 00:51:50)
My friends and I did our own an people respond the same exact way...how else are they supposed to respond to something so ridiculous??
Legit (2009-07-29 00:51:38)
My friends and I did our own an people respond the same exact way...how else are they supposed to respond to something so ridiculous??
Wectal Wegion (2009-07-26 17:31:15)
Very interesting, Timmy Tucker, as I also have difficulty finding babysitters with a little bit more balls. I also think this site is a fraud because the writer and responder both speak English.
anonymous (2009-07-26 16:30:28)
iloveeeyou (2009-07-26 01:40:35)
PLEASEEEE marry me! together we will make beautiful smart ass kids that will ruin the world together! (the beauty comes from me)
Carl@fraud (2009-07-24 12:02:55)
Yeah seriously, look how many people end in all caps saying "FUCK OFF" or something like that. And seriously anyone could make up the ones without responses.
fraud agreed (2009-07-23 12:34:54)
The writer and responders carry similar dialects. I also agree this is a fraud. Even though it is halarious, and i can't stop laughing, people don't swear this on the internet, even in the tri-state area. .
shoaib (2009-07-23 06:47:03)
hahahaha . . . . its damn funnyy.... you rock dude...
thejackyl (2009-07-23 04:20:34)
lol @ "the face paced industry of babysitting"
Kai (2009-07-22 20:42:53)
I'll do it for the first offering price. If the unplugging doesn't work I will handle it myself.
waterbottle (2009-07-22 17:26:22)
@fraud
ur an idiot or a troll. if the first one, of course they do... theyre different people, they start out taking it somewhat seriously at first then get angry at the end. if the second, diaf... actually diaf either way.
fraud (2009-07-22 15:37:37)
ive read about 15 of these now and the more i read, the more I think they are not real responses at all. They all start and end the same way
Miles (2009-07-20 02:04:04)
This is one of the funniest damn things I've ever read
burn it down (2009-07-16 03:31:51)
gold.
anonymous (2009-07-10 16:44:25)
You're sick but she wants you to burn in hell. Niiiiiice!
GOFO (2009-07-07 11:57:55)
when get's a babysitter on CL anyways?
anonymous (2009-07-02 16:40:41)
This A+ trolling.
Congrats.
anonymous (2009-07-02 10:14:12)
anonymous (2009-07-01 17:18:29)
Tex (2009-07-01 08:08:22)
WWAAAAHAA AHAHAHA AHHHAAA
anonymous (2009-06-30 20:00:25)
Des (2009-06-29 12:36:09)
nice
anonymous (2009-06-28 15:17:21)
anonymous (2009-06-28 13:13:06)
The Zeeg (2009-06-28 09:51:47)
hahahahahaaaa
MACooke (2009-06-26 13:21:34)
I'm telling all my friends about this site!
anonymous (2009-06-26 02:13:11)
this site needs to be more famous... lol the fast paced industry of baby sitting lmao
Huni (2009-06-25 05:02:13)
the fast-paced industry of babysitting!!!! woooohahahahahaha..... Im dying over here!
Jesus (2009-06-24 01:14:30)
Christ this is funny as FUCK
[Insert Name] (2009-06-23 02:25:06)
I guess the price just wasn't right for her
anonymous (2009-06-22 06:01:51)
DOOD, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF THIS CONVOS WAS FAKE. THIS IS SOME SHIT, I PEED IN MY PANTS. LMFAO!!!!
malmal (2009-06-21 22:12:11)
perfection
Zyr (2009-06-21 20:25:40)
This sounds fake as hell!
sam (2009-06-20 14:08:45)
best. please keep making these.
NUtter (2009-06-20 05:42:30)
EPIC SHIT! LMAO
anonymous (2009-06-20 04:34:46)
the infragable krunk (2009-06-20 03:12:43)
i laughed out loud after reading the original ad. to be honest, just from that i knew this was gonna be a classic.
anonymous (2009-06-19 17:26:03)
pat (2009-06-19 14:23:39)
im fucking dying right now, this shit is hilarious
anonymous (2009-06-19 05:17:07)
imariot134 (2009-06-18 22:53:04)
I want to marry this Timmy Tucker guy.
♥
anonymous (2009-06-18 22:33:55)
AmandaTucker (2009-06-18 14:07:59)
wtf timmy!
Deb (2009-06-18 00:48:11)
LMAO!!!!
Carl (2009-06-17 01:25:43)
Is the job offer still open? Offer me 40% of the inheritance and I'm in. :)
viper (2009-06-16 14:39:02)
"Obviously I am not offering you enough money." Yeah, that's the problem, haha.
anonymous (2009-06-16 14:36:03)
"You clearly do not have the right mindset to enter the fast-paced industry of babysitting." LOL
anonymous (2009-06-15 19:42:16)
holy shit, this is some good stuff.
Ngamer (2009-06-13 03:38:04)
"I will pay you $15 an hour, but in return I need you to unplug her life support after you get her to sign the will."
A top tier moment in internet history.
anonymous (2009-06-12 23:15:17)
"I will find a babysitter that has a little bit more balls than you."
gregh (2009-06-12 21:46:06)
dude. i laugh out loud for real at these convos. nice work
Riley (2009-06-12 20:02:21)
I love you.
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