The Shaniqua Chronicles pt. 1
Posted at: 2009-06-08 00:51:29
Original ad:
**********HEY YOU THERE*************-$1500
HELLO I AM LOOKING FOR A FORD EXPLORER!I NEED A TRUCK SO IF YOU ARE SELLING YOURS AND IT HAS NO PROBLEMS WHAT SO EVER THEN LET ME KNOW. I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF 3 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND WE NEED A WAY TO GET AROUND WHERE NO BODY WILL BE ALL CRAMPED UP AND A EXPLORER WILL DO US JUST FINE. I'M LOOKING TO BUY AROUND THE END OF OCTOBER IF YOU HAVE ONE THAT YOU WANT TO SELL THEN GET AT ME A.S.AP.
(the ad also had a picture of her posing for the camera, like that is necessary for an "auto wanted" ad)
Me to SHANIQUA ***********
ay yo girl i gots a ford explorer for you
its not really a 1997 its a 1985
and its not really a ford explorer its a ford bronco but its like the same thing
here are the specs if your interested:
-217,292 miles
-transmission is in good shape, 5th gear and reverse work but the rest dont
-the V6 engine was replaced with a V8, gas mileage is pretty good - i got about 12 mpg highway the other day but that was with premium
-power windows but you have to turn a crank to roll them down
-tape player - it does play but there is a def leppard tape jammed in there and it won't come out. great for def leppard fans!
-i am a smoker so you can smell it in the car, but ill throw in an air-freshener for an extra 10 bucks
-it came with front airbag, but it deployed in my last accident and i didnt get it replaced. broncos are safe though so you wont have to worry about an airbag.
-the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold.
-heat works if you drive the car for a while
-the frame is bent due to an accident with a tractor trailer, but as long as you dont drive over 40 you shouldnt have any problems
-it can seat five which is good for kids, but the back seat has beer and urine stains. they have been professionally treated with windex
-the rear window is missing, but has been repaired with saran wrap
-you will need to have some minor repairs done: new brakes, the rear axle is missing, needs a new radiator and coolant system. i spoke to my friend who knows a lot about cars and he said it shouldnt cost more than a few bucks.
im asking for $7,500 but am willing to negotiate.
let me know what you think
-ted
SHANIQUA *********** to Me
No thanks.That's not what I'm looking for it's too old and not even the right type of Ford.Have a nice day :)
Me to SHANIQUA ***********
I'm willing to drop the price to $7,000 and throw in a phil collins cassette tape for the tape player. even though it may seem old, it still runs like it was OJ's bronco. and don't worry about it not being an explorer. all fords are built ford tough.
SHANIQUA *********** to Me
I don't think that you read my ad.I don't have $7000.00 to spend on a truck much less a DAMN 1985 BRONCO!!!!!!!!!!!You should be willing to give that old ass piece of shit away.GO AWAY and leave me the hell alone STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me to SHANIQUA ***********
I see you are a tough negotiator. My final offer is $6,900, and I'll include a floormat from my 1983 cutlass supreme. this floormat is brown with several stains and cigarette burns, but it will keep the beautiful bronco interior very clean. please consider this generous offer.
SHANIQUA *********** to Me
READ THE AD 1500 THAT'S IT.I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN FORD BRONCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me to SHANIQUA ***********
Okay, I can see that this luxurious bronco is out of your price range. That is okay. I have a cheaper car that you may be interested in.
It is a 1996 Geo Metro. Almost EXACTLY the same as a Ford Explorer. When looking at the two, I personally can't even tell the difference.
It was my son's car, but he lost his license after his third DUI, so now I am stuck with it. I have no use for it though, and would be willing to sell it to you for $1550.
Features:
- 246,000 HIGHWAY miles
- AM radio, great for traffic reports and radio disney
- 3 great tires from Walmart, they still have about 200 miles worth of tread on them
- Partially functional transmission. Reverse does not work, but you don't really need that anyway.
- Due to a wheel alignment problem, the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left.
- No title
- Currently needs brakes, exhaust, cat converter, a front wheel and rotor, and a motor to pass inspection. But as long as you don't get pulled over, who cares about inspection?
- The paint is a metallic/rust red. Some of the spots have rusted through, but I covered it up with duct tape and spray paint. Looks good as new!
- Comes with THE CLUB, a state of the art anti-theft device. But i lost the key to it, so its stuck on the steering wheel. great for leaving your car in west philly!
- The gas tank currently leaks gas, so MPG is around 6 or 7 depending on how fast you drive. You just need to keep plugging the hole with gum.
At that price, this car is a DEAL! Let me know what you think.
SHANIQUA *********** to Me
YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me to SHANIQUA ***********
so you don't want the geo? you're missing out on a dream car. tell you what, for that price, I will also include three old Newsweek magazines, a used toaster, and an old Philadelphia Eagles #81 Terrell Owens jersey.
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The only bad thing about this website is the abundance of ignorant trolls the comment page attracts. Sickening when you're comparing it to an expert. And people are replying like they're legit posts... Obviously taisha's a troll!
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Racist? How the fuck do you figure? Jesus christ. Always using that card eh?
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James (2013-05-06 23:10:11)
That's it! I'm going through ALL the emails on this site. This guy is hilarious!
Justin (2013-05-03 21:28:53)
Taisha you're a dumb cunt. Nothing about this is racist you ignorant bitch.
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TAISHA (2013-02-14 14:26:24)
AY YO NIGGA THIS BE RACIST YP
lolo (2013-02-13 16:38:22)
"the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left." --- hahahahaha
qqqq (2013-01-28 19:49:41)
Haha, what a fucking bitch, nice job.
anon (2013-01-09 16:26:16)
You're an asshole indeed.
Cory Hall (2012-11-21 10:22:32)
I would have added that the back turn signals don't work, but you will include a very bright flashlight and one of her girls can flick it on and off to signal cars when she is making a turn.
anonymous (2012-11-02 15:18:45)
BaHaHa!!
klip (2012-11-01 00:39:05)
Lmao just slipped in there
No title
Almost coughed up my lung
James (2012-10-28 03:08:37)
"the back seat has beer and urine stains. they have been professionally treated with windex"
azmabo-shutthehellup (2012-09-23 16:23:46)
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George (2012-09-22 03:08:36)
oh shit... I almost wet myself.
toby (2012-08-16 19:53:57)
funny!!! very good!
Dude (2012-08-02 01:42:31)
Haha minor repairs like new breaks, REAR AXEL IS MISSING, New radiator, buddy says it should only cost a few bucks.
Hahahahahahaha funniest part, about pissed my pants about the freakin axel
azmabozambaqua (2012-07-28 14:51:41)
Diz be racist yo
oh shit (2012-07-19 08:23:04)
wat !??!?! dis is d last post :(
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This us the funniest thing on the internet, I love this website!!!!!!! XD
anonymous (2012-07-04 09:40:40)
Ahaj
Yuri (2012-07-04 02:08:40)
6,900 anyone get that 69
@natasha (2012-07-01 09:59:49)
USP does that shit
natasha (2012-06-25 11:54:04)
"three right turns make a left" HAHAHAHAHA, all i did when i read that was invision someone just doing a huge circle in a rusty old car to take a left. LMAO!
anonymous (2012-06-14 15:34:13)
$1500? You're not gonna get any decent car for that...
Brian (2012-06-12 03:25:44)
LOL how did she not notice the BLATANT switch from ebonics to Merriam - Webster?
42 (2012-06-12 00:38:10)
She wants a freaking Ford Explorer in good condition for fucking $1500, she just wants to be trolled.
S0mboda1 (2012-05-31 00:59:21)
Say say... This is REALLY hiliarious!!! -ROLLS ON THE FLOOR-
anonymous (2012-05-16 17:13:48)
assuming that the buyer is blk based off her name is not to be considered racism.. it falls into the stereotype category.
Reducer1 (2012-05-01 14:42:35)
Brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful.
rodeo king (2012-04-08 23:32:42)
It's funny how concerned american doesn't respond.
Lol (2012-03-13 00:11:39)
"don't worry [...] all fords are built ford tough"
That's the most genius instance of using a company's slogan while trolling that I've ever witnessed XD
cantgetenough (2012-03-10 15:16:06)
The toaster is mine so btfo
2balls&Ashaft (2012-03-06 17:27:20)
yeah, it's not racist. the buyer was just black.
Daverty (2012-03-05 20:48:29)
People think he was making assumptions about race, when it says she included a picture of herself.
And 240,000 miles since 1996? LOL!
okaayyy (2012-03-01 15:58:45)
it never even said her race, ever in any of the e-mails. The fact that you assumed she was black because of her name and her attitude in her writing IS racist. Thank you that is all.
Ian (2012-02-29 06:54:16)
I too would like concernedamerica to tell me how this is even 1% racist...?
LOLOLOLOL (2012-02-21 23:25:42)
"Three right turns can make a left."
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
TommyG (2012-01-18 23:33:06)
I want that used toaster..
:3 (2012-01-14 17:34:55)
When I read Shaniqua's comments I can really hear her voice in my head. Now thats disturbing.
Skinhead (2012-01-09 16:11:47)
Please concerned american tell me how this is racist
Concerned American (2012-01-08 10:14:21)
This is not funny, it is racist!
anonymous (2011-12-05 23:08:22)
Dumbass ↓
@whatever (2011-12-01 03:19:31)
Shuuuhhht the fuck up.. Quit tryna sound all wise n shit..
HAHAHAHAHAHHA (2011-11-20 01:00:02)
LOL: the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold.
anonymous (2011-11-16 02:04:18)
lol I was laughing uncontrollably when i got to the Geo part "can't tell the difference between a geo and ford" hahaha LOL frickin hilarious stuff
Xinaji (2011-10-20 16:17:42)
Burst into uncontrollable giggles at "professionally treated with windex." ^_^
Beaugard (2011-10-19 19:13:09)
I wasn't interested until you added in a Phil Collins cassette tape. Sold.
Johnny Eyeball (2011-10-19 13:16:18)
Packed full of absolute gems but the best was "-the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold."
somebody (2011-10-01 13:55:10)
this is the first one I ever read like two years ago when I found the book laying around a friends house. I've been trying to get my hands on the book ever since but now there's a website :D
kristin (2011-09-29 00:10:42)
you are my hero
Melissa (2011-09-27 04:28:56)
Hilarious!! Came across this by accident & can't stop laughing!
Smoofy (2011-09-22 09:56:02)
you went from talking like a black person to talking like you normally do... that wouldve given it away to me
Gateway (2011-09-19 23:51:15)
WOW, THE STUFF THIS GUY DOES IS TRUE COMEDIC GENIUS. FOUND THIS SITE TODAY AND DIDN'T STOP READING TILL I READ EVERY EMAIL DIALOGUE. THANK YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE DOING THIS STUFF TO MESS WITH PEOPLE!
rooster77 (2011-08-26 06:41:45)
"transmission is in good shape, 5th and reverse work, but the rest dont? he needs his ass whooped
EL_SiD (2011-08-11 02:01:50)
Why'd I read the car descriptions in Ellis from L4D2 voice?
Dubey (2011-07-19 22:38:18)
how much for the TO jearsey?? lol
legend (2011-07-17 06:57:21)
this is the funniest i have read so far! LMFAO at the list of things wrong.
The first Three.. (2011-07-16 19:38:27)
The first three words 'ay yo girl', as soon as I read those I knew it was going to be funny!
Trollin'Troll (2011-06-20 18:24:03)
LMFAO omg this is hilarious! XD
whatever (2011-06-19 20:52:42)
people need to learn how to live their life instead of being so overly obsessed with trying to call anything they don't like racist. racism will never end unless people stop worrying about race itself.
lol@latoya (2011-06-19 19:05:29)
I'll never know why people type lyke dyk3z
Wade Cohen (2011-06-17 16:40:52)
Congratulations, LaToya, for being the first and only white woman named LaToya.
funny (2011-06-05 21:54:23)
man this is fuckin funny
Jane (2011-06-01 13:54:29)
Yo! U stupid as hell, fucking lmao! Meanwhile, it would be nice if you didn't need to be stereotype her by her name, "ay yo girl i gots a..." A bit much but I really have to laugh at the detailed list of all the things wrong with the damn car.
coollll (2011-05-31 05:41:49)
"Three right turns can make a left."
EPIC!
ROFL (2011-05-28 07:07:59)
Quote "LaToya (2011-04-23 06:13:05)
hey imma white woman why you always diss on da black women!!!! i ain't a sista so i aint preachin for my own choir but you gotta have more respec for da black girls!!" /Quote <----THATS WHY
NicoleRenae (2011-05-24 22:10:29)
All fords are build ford tough. BAHAHAHAH
anonymous (2011-05-24 21:13:54)
I read the mileage of your "Ford Bronco"..
..and died xDD
anonymous (2011-05-21 05:57:29)
I laughed so much at how the car can only turn right but 3 right turns make a left turn XD
masterninja (2011-05-08 08:51:49)
AM Radio, great for traffic reports and radio disney
LMAO
fuk u bitch (2011-05-07 00:48:05)
fuk u |
V
Clougtugdhgddhgf (2011-05-01 13:39:34)
I think it's absolutely glorious how much of a stereotypical retarded bitch she is.
Commenter (2011-04-29 21:00:37)
Lost my shit when you said, "Left turn doesn't work, right turn does, but 3 right turns makes a left."
somename (2011-04-23 17:44:32)
Lost it at "It needs a motor to pass inspection." (I know that's not an exact quote).
LaToya (2011-04-23 06:13:05)
hey imma white woman why you always diss on da black women!!!! i ain't a sista so i aint preachin for my own choir but you gotta have more respec for da black girls!!
SB (2011-04-07 09:57:46)
"The rear window is missing, but has been repaired with saran wrap" Simply Priceless!
Unbelievable (2011-04-06 19:25:40)
"-tape player - it does play but there is a def leppard tape jammed in there and it won't come out. great for def leppard fans!"
AHHAHAHAHAH
Seriously (2011-04-06 07:10:36)
The comments section of this site is full of horny trolls waiting to rape the first trollbait idiot who gets easily offended by anything.
eazy999999 (2011-04-05 23:14:06)
This is hilarious. Except for all this racist shit in the comments. Its funny shut the fuck up with all this white power and racist shit and laugh about something funny. People really know how to ruin good things. Stupid fucks
Well... (2011-04-05 20:41:22)
This is the first email I couldn't finish reading. Some poor woman, mom of 3, is looking for a just-good-enough car to get her and her children around, and you choose her of all the thousands upon thousands of people on craigslist to give a hard time.
The mediator (2011-04-04 19:50:40)
Race aside, that's funny. End of story :))
grandwizard=eunuch (2011-04-01 08:20:21)
(2011-03-22 01:26:09)
"We need to preserve our white heritage and assure a safe and secure white future for our children!"
People like you marry your children and rape your mothers. Get a life and learn some truth.
Daisy (2011-03-31 18:20:49)
I know an asshole who drive a 95 Geo Metro, wrecked it and got a DUI (the damn thing had 2 air bags!) and he always uses The Club no matter where he parks. The similarities are hilarious. If the jerk doesn't pay me the rent, I'm evicting his sorry
nazi (2011-03-30 23:12:12)
"I don't even believe that "blackpoppinchick" is a real African American." - don't you mean nigger?
Mark Halfmoon (2011-03-30 15:40:24)
This was very funny to me until I read all of the nasty hateful racist crap in the comments section. I don't even believe that "blackpoppinchick" is a real African American.
Reggin (2011-03-24 21:25:08)
White Power SSRA
Jman (2011-03-24 20:27:09)
"-the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold." hahaha dat shits hilarious @Klan leader WHITE POWER keep the movement going. and eff you blackpoppinchick
anonymous (2011-03-24 17:43:17)
"A used toaster" That's why I'd buy the car...
xmonke (2011-03-23 07:18:03)
Wow, that ladies a bitch!
Phil Collins (2011-03-22 16:25:15)
Phil collins cassete tape? DEAL BREAKER
gjones (2011-03-22 09:01:41)
my buddy and I just read this and I laughed so hard I cried through the whole thing!
grandwizard (2011-03-22 01:26:09)
We need to preserve our white heritage and assure a safe and secure white future for our children!
ArmyRanger (2011-02-26 04:01:27)
If I were black, I would name my child 'Shaqualeesha Tecumseh Underbrush'. Yeah, I would. Bon KiKi is pretty funny tho lol!
Big fan (2011-02-22 01:04:49)
I've been reading a lot of your emails and I think they are hilarious. On this one however I think you accidentally abandoned character partway through when you started talking about the geo. Your vocabulary and sentence structure seemed to differ.
1upnuthelongway (2011-02-16 19:20:44)
If this were someone on stage acting this out everyone would be laughing. And there wouldn't be any name calling, or playing the "Skin Game"
August West (2011-02-16 19:13:28)
"Three right turns make a left...Anthony."
Vaginaballs (2011-02-03 22:33:55)
"i am a smoker so you can smell it in the car, but ill throw in an air-freshener for an extra 10 bucks" - Gold!
Giants suck (2011-02-02 14:04:48)
lol an old T.O Jersey ROFL
Bob Dole (2011-01-31 13:02:04)
Blackpoppinchick, you are the reason that we have stereotypes to reinforce.
And whites are not "good at bed"?
Go back to high school and get an education; the word you are looking for is "sex"
It's not sex that separates us, it'
Graves (2011-01-27 23:40:44)
@Blackpoppinchick;
You're an idiot. People like you (Not a racist comment unless stupid is a race now) are the reason why doing this is so hilarious and easy.
blackpoppinchick (2011-01-25 18:08:51)
WHY THE FUCK ARE THESE FUCKING WHITES ARE SO RACISTS I THINK THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOUR IGNORANCE IT'S SO LAME AND STUPID BUT I DON'T HATE THEM ALL I KNOW BOUT DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BLACKS AND WHITES IS THAT WHITE MEN SUCKS AT BED go the fuck get a life
reka (2011-01-13 14:20:22)
Three right turns can make a left.... ROFL
Klan Leader (2010-12-13 13:33:34)
Well it is okay that you niggers don't like us whites, because no one really cares about you monkeys in the first place. WHITE POWER!!!!
haha (2010-12-05 01:57:37)
lol. it's funny how calm she was in her first reply before going psycho with her next ones.
foshizzlehilarious (2010-11-12 21:45:39)
"I see you are a tough negotiator. My final offer is $6,900, and I'll include a floormat from my 1983 cutlass supreme. this floormat is brown with several stains and cigarette burns, but it will keep the beautiful bronco interior very clean. pleas
anonymous (2010-11-08 00:12:05)
"a used toaster" lol!
... (2010-10-31 15:31:51)
She wants to buy a ford for 1500.She's stupid.
Some guy (2010-10-25 18:02:07)
Reverse does not work, but you don't really need that anyway.
LOL >.<
Ayman (2010-10-21 18:32:30)
Three right turns can make a left....ROTFL
lmao (2010-10-07 00:44:05)
Professionally treated with windex lol
Danica (2010-10-05 01:38:29)
Ok umm where the hell did ya'll get the whole racist drama? It's a joke about a damn Explorer. But whatever I thought it was hilarious.
oh shut up (2010-10-04 00:17:26)
Shaniqua is black lol. That's about as bad as being named after alcohol lol.
nigers are lazy (2010-09-29 12:25:41)
blacks do all the crime and rape the goverments money u all suck no one likes nigers
LMBAO (2010-09-27 10:43:19)
Take it from a Brother, SHANIQUA, is definitely black. The name say it all. Its like Becky for white girls!
SHANAYNAY (2010-09-25 01:29:47)
YOU WHITIES ARE MAKING ME ANGRY. I DON LIKE YOU WHITIES.
KIRBY (2010-09-21 16:48:42)
Shaniqua is the blackest name there ever was. Ur gonna name ur kids shaniqua and bon kiki so shut the fuck up!!!!!!
nut truck (2010-09-18 21:28:04)
lol terrell owens jersey
bigpunisher (2010-09-03 02:38:23)
cause racial stereotypes are, for the most part, true
anonymous (2010-09-01 23:05:06)
why is everyone SO racist?
Nigger faggots (2010-09-01 15:47:22)
Fucking niggers
ollie (2010-08-30 11:38:10)
"ayo girl, i gots a ford explorer for you" LOL
Wow (2010-08-24 04:22:05)
What a dumb bitch! She's looking for a Ford Explorer for $1500 with "no problems"? I guess this is why we have public transportation.
Hilncore (2010-08-18 17:45:37)
Almost peed my pants!! Hilarious!
complete (2010-08-16 03:25:53)
3 right turns make a left!!
Blank Comment (2010-08-10 22:05:45)
anonymous (2010-07-30 03:59:43)
-heat works if you drive the car for a while LOLZ
marc (2010-07-18 20:25:36)
Lol a T.O jersey obviously this guy is from pa. What's a Philadelphian to do with a T.O jersey other then burn it in the parking lot before a Dallas at Eagles game.
SHANIQUA (2010-07-18 19:38:45)
Yall niggas be postin in a troll thread
57 (2010-07-16 12:48:32)
That is very silly, and funny to the last line. TO jersey, LOL.
anonymous (2010-07-12 20:10:12)
blank
DDD (2010-07-12 11:29:20)
"Three right turns can make a left." lmao
nthng in cmntbox (2010-07-10 08:00:35)
try type nothing (2010-07-10 07:59:52)
Me Again (2010-07-08 16:43:28)
Dude, Shaniqua is a back girls name. End of story, no debate. It is not racist, it is correct. Also, see that she is looking to buy an explorer, and has three kids. AND she knows the difference between a bronco and an explorer. Sure isn't a white girl
I SAID IT FOO (2010-07-08 16:36:22)
racist? (2010-06-20 11:19:17)
who said shaniqua was black? to people who think this is racist, maybe you should stop stereotyping the name, shaniqua___ Hey, google image Shaniqua, and count the white girl pics that come up. SPOILER ALERT!!! Its Zero.
anonymous (2010-07-08 03:21:33)
.
neela (2010-07-06 23:49:51)
bahahahhaa this is too funny
Betty (2010-07-06 01:55:01)
.
anonymous (2010-07-01 00:12:21)
w
zebra (2010-06-30 14:20:12)
Happy one-year anniversary of the site!
anonymous (2010-06-29 22:56:06)
lol try to post a comment without putting anything in the comment box guys.
Adam (2010-06-28 19:39:45)
- Due to a wheel alignment problem, the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left.
Haha just imagine someone doing that for every turn xD
еnonymous (2010-06-28 00:32:10)
Stop being idiots... Do any of you know a caucasian named "Shaniquia". Don't call them rasist... Ч
KoooKs (2010-06-22 04:36:39)
Only a nigguh would name their kid shaniqua
racist? (2010-06-20 11:19:17)
who said shaniqua was black? to people who think this is racist, maybe you should stop stereotyping the name, shaniqua
h8 (2010-06-16 18:01:08)
"What the fuck is with all the racism?" STFU, "racism" is just an insult as effective as "poo-poo head." Go back to the playground, child.
atlcraze (2010-06-16 15:39:52)
-No Title... ROFL
gooser (2010-06-07 21:25:51)
thats hilarious!!!! no racism there you moron...stop being so freaking sensitive..
Gtg (2010-06-04 23:05:17)
And a motor hahaha
iPod my pants (2010-06-04 10:48:53)
Ahaha I love how on the geo ad he sneaks in that it needs a motor
emma (2010-06-03 14:12:34)
What the fuck is with all the racism?
anon (2010-05-24 03:02:44)
three right turns can make a left.
anonymous (2010-05-21 19:37:38)
lmao >how do magnets work
anonymous (2010-05-16 23:03:43)
the funniest shit i've ever read in my life. but the facking racists ruined it for me. thx assholes.
Amgroma (2010-05-08 17:44:29)
Haha stupid niggers on computers buying stuff instead of in the fields.. what the fuck are they doing? how do magnets work?
johnny (2010-05-02 11:42:10)
I straight up lol'd when I read "ayo girl".
Yoshimano (2010-04-29 08:25:23)
"Three right turns can make a left" !! Couldn't stop myself laughing! You're such a genius. "Great for leaving your car in Philly" Haha!
the_truth (2010-04-21 11:03:41)
All matters of race aside, anybody who thinks they can buy a used Ford Explorer in mint condition for $1500 is stupid and deserves to be clowned!
Matt (2010-04-18 19:12:25)
The poster below me is an idiot. Whites aren't dumb enough to name their kids shaniqua you filthy spook. You are a penis pop.
Dertr (2010-04-10 10:46:46)
So, for the basterds that said "black people are so dumb"....I've met five white chicks with that name and never a black chick. So, what you really meant to say was that white people are always so dumb, if anything short of a generalization is
Def Leppard! (2010-04-09 11:34:27)
JSYK:
I now have side cramps from laughing so friggin' hard. WTG
anonymous (2010-04-06 01:19:55)
Can I say that this is honestly the funniest website ever, so simple yet so funnny. Keep up the good work. just made my life.
Woof (2010-03-28 03:32:24)
- Partially functional transmission. Reverse does not work, but you don't really need that anyway.
Why. Why?! xD
anonymous (2010-03-25 10:44:22)
- Due to a wheel alignment problem, the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left.
obiwan (2010-03-17 14:08:46)
oh god this is so great... i don't know if this beats 'barter my whore wife' but it's close. i'm going to start doing this to people for shits. I've read about 15 of these so far and i'm going to have to stop so my stomach is
hateplow (2010-03-09 06:53:03)
It is a 1996 Geo Metro. Almost EXACTLY the same as a Ford Explorer. hahahahahahahahahahaahah
rotarooter (2010-03-02 03:03:15)
LMAO at how the geo looks like the explorer
Tyrone (2010-02-24 00:54:23)
the car comes with 3 wheels... HAHAH
Lab Biatch (2010-02-19 04:06:55)
@Stress8all: you do realise the word catalytic comes from catalyst? A catalytic converter uses a catalyst (platinum) to do some chemical reactions that clean up the exhaust.
Stress8all (2010-02-18 17:16:44)
Anon: Catalytic converter, not catalyst. A catalyst is something that encourages a reaction.
ROFL (2010-02-18 04:12:59)
good stuff
anon (2010-02-16 23:56:17)
cat converter = catalyst converter, the part connects the header and exhaust together for emission purpose
anonymous (2010-02-16 06:08:37)
what the fuck is a cat converter?
Aissa (2010-02-16 03:09:45)
NOOOOO!!! I can't believe I've read all of the emails! :'(
fucking awesome (2010-02-13 00:38:52)
i just peed a little
Callie (2010-02-11 13:29:02)
Hahaha this is genius - was the likeness to Salesman Stan from the Monkey Island games intentional?
lol (2010-01-30 01:43:32)
"-i am a smoker so you can smell it in the car, but ill throw in an air-freshener for an extra 10 bucks"
LMFAO - $10
Chris (2010-01-27 21:02:32)
how can these people he's emailing take him seriously? LOL
wouldnt you just delete his email and laugh?
hammerhead messiah (2010-01-16 14:28:35)
People who go to "emails from an asshole" and take it seriously. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
charles W. (2010-01-13 21:24:36)
Your comic genius is not measured by laughs but by soiled undergarments. God bless you.
Derek (2010-01-11 20:57:40)
Do you still have the bronco cause im looking for one exactly like that throw in the TO jersey and you got a deal
gpk (2010-01-08 23:39:51)
If you think this waas not funny, you need to seek medical attention. If you think this is racist you were dropped on your head too much when you were a child (Not your fault). i loved it... mad funny. Best Comedy ever.
erica (2010-01-07 18:04:32)
wait...why is race even being discussed??? I've met and heard of more WHITE WOMEN named Shaniqua than any other race. You all are...wait for it.....dumb as hell. Good day! :)
President (2010-01-07 09:28:15)
Put a picture of the bitch up, and cut her face out. Her stupid-ass pose will add to the laughter.
Mike (2010-01-06 14:39:58)
lol black people
trier (2010-01-06 12:05:41)
haha
eric (2009-12-30 01:36:01)
-power windows but you have to turn a crank to roll them down
LOL
-the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold.
LMFAO
bob (2009-12-28 00:58:45)
get it boy i love u
Monique pees in bed (2009-12-21 22:11:05)
HHAHAHA I JUST PEED IN MY BED!!
Johnny boy (2009-11-27 12:02:12)
Due to a wheel alignment problem, the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left." ..... Absolute comedy gold !!! :)
cattybear (2009-11-25 12:51:22)
ROFLCaAP!!! (Rolling on floor crying and almost peeing)
Axel (2009-11-20 15:09:08)
"Three right turns can make a left." hahahah awesome
gleni (2009-11-18 10:05:35)
How does he think of this stuff!? That is my question
White Guy (2009-11-16 06:46:53)
after reading the comment thread I find this: white Americans are worse than white South Africans.
Libra (2009-11-09 11:37:56)
I would have taken it because of the Def Leppard tape.... xD
ac (2009-11-01 15:35:47)
hahah a used toaster
gfnb (2009-10-31 11:26:51)
xngfxn
Biv (2009-10-31 11:26:23)
Ellers et par gode tilbud
Gundostel (2009-10-30 11:33:52)
Aloha! uvy
MBII (2009-10-29 17:38:51)
LOL radio disney...i always wondered y they were on AM, now i know!
MikeHunt (2009-10-21 15:20:03)
Race Baiters? This must have been the only email you read Dick. Can I call you Dick? All the others are white. I assume they are white from the conversations. You want race baiting watch MSNBC. They are not even trying to be funny. Keep up the good work M
Andy (2009-10-20 23:55:31)
"even though it may seem old, it still runs like it was OJ's bronco" - that may be the best thing I have ever read on the interweb.
Geo (2009-10-16 22:50:34)
I have a 1995 Geo Metro, and i am living the Dream! 40mpg!!! beat that.
Geo (2009-10-16 22:50:20)
I have a 1995 Geo Metro, and i am living the Dream! 40mpg!!! beat that.
Amanda (2009-10-15 15:45:39)
Just finished reading every 'letter'! Tooo f'in funny! Whoever thought of this is a freakin' genius!
dave (2009-10-13 10:50:30)
great for def leppard fans! HA!
/loves me sum Fleppard
Jamal (2009-10-07 17:52:29)
Ay man dats my wife's name
wat (2009-10-04 00:05:08)
"needs a motor to pass inspection"
wat
sdf (2009-09-26 00:03:04)
"Three right turns can make a left." LOL. My roommates all must think there`s something wrong with me i`m rofling
AjAjA! (2009-09-25 23:59:12)
it can seat five which is good for kids, but the back seat has beer and urine stains. they have been professionally treated with windex
Shane-amus-maximus (2009-09-22 14:39:26)
Black people are hella dumb lol.
ashley (2009-09-18 03:03:50)
how can you even attempt at making right and left turns if THE CLUB is on the steering wheel
hahahahahh
Heywood Jablomie (2009-09-17 20:25:22)
My stomach hurts from laughing so hard!
Shaniqua (2009-09-14 01:06:23)
I'm still looking for a Ford Explorer in perfect condition for $1,500. Please e-mail me if you can help.
mcdonalds coupons (2009-09-13 21:33:05)
Thank you very much for this imformative entry.
lol (2009-08-28 23:07:10)
"three right turns can make a left."
and
"But as long as you don't get pulled over, who cares about inspection?"
best hahahah
the man is back (2009-08-26 03:48:34)
chucky hacks?
Kman (2009-08-25 13:25:40)
Not everyone can appreciate such excellent humor. I think your site rocks dude. Thanks for the laughs.
LOLUGUYSMAD (2009-08-18 22:14:16)
If you are that inexperienced with Anonymous comments and forums that you do not realize what a "troll" is, I am sure Duncan will explain it to you. In the meantime, I will kick back and chuckle a little as his blatant attempts at being Captain Ob
Duncan's #1 Fan (2009-08-18 01:52:25)
Keep up the informative comments Duncan! Don't listen to these people
Me (2009-08-17 14:43:09)
Is Duncan for real?
joeseph (2009-08-17 10:50:27)
Duncan's idiotic comments are the only bad thing about this site. STFU Duncan! The only thing more annoying than people chewing with their mouth open is stating the obvious at every possible chance.
Duncan (2009-08-16 18:22:19)
Wow, I can't believe that she was tryin to sell it to her even though it wasn't what she wanted.
PGJames (2009-08-10 03:37:26)
Plugs look good, wires look good. all connections are solid. Coolant cap looks good and clean. No cracks or dirt. Got a fuel filter and started taking the rusty one off. Had to borrow 13/16 wrench from the neighbor. Thought I depressurized the fuel line b
crying (2009-08-06 05:44:52)
seriously, tears running down my face. Best e-laugh since "how to be the funny guy in the office" email of 1995 or so.
rick (2009-08-05 12:54:56)
this is just dumb. not even funny.
roflmfaocopter (2009-08-04 12:40:47)
soi soi soi
Duncan (2009-07-30 20:37:31)
I need some donuts. Wrapped around a male chicken ;)
I AM AWESOME (2009-07-28 21:51:53)
That was classic. To you idiots crying about "racism". I believe you are adhering to your own stereotype. Never once did it define her "race" and I don't see a picture to justify anything. Get yourself an edumacation and learn how to s
Crystal (2009-07-28 17:04:37)
I bet this dude just sits here and makes all this shit up...
race bating? (2009-07-28 12:10:54)
are you fuзking stupid? this $hit is so funny because truth is ALWAYS funniest... don't be sad... instead try to change your culture, so this kind of instance isn't so typical, and expected out of someone named "shaniqua".. btw don't b
anonymous (2009-07-26 17:12:41)
Fuckin' beautiful. This site is my new e-crack!
sitflyr (2009-07-25 21:53:09)
"Three right turns can make a left." LMAO!!! This is a great one all the way through!!!
Rutabaker (2009-07-25 19:56:17)
LOOK GUYS I'M A RETARDED COCK STAIN!!!!!!!!!!
anonymous (2009-07-25 09:38:33)
I like how you offered an extra tape for the tape player when you specifically said that there is already one stuck in it
it's funny (2009-07-23 12:12:19)
because he started off talking ghetto and ended up talking like he wasn't ghetto!
GsL (2009-07-23 09:22:57)
Pure comedy GOLD.. I laughed so hard I have to get up now and settle my stomach down. U had me in knots crying half way in
My Name NlGGA (2009-07-23 03:35:55)
my name nigga
anonymous (2009-07-22 17:05:16)
fucking epic bro
Hahahaha (2009-07-22 15:25:27)
Omg man the guy who writes this is funny as fuck. You deserve a fucking statue in every city all over the world. Keep up the good work, I pissed my pants for over 2 hours reading this
Rob (2009-07-21 08:20:41)
Shaniqua, get in the Bronco...get in the bronco, get in the bronco, get in the BRONCO!
Rutabaker (2009-07-20 01:19:00)
So you people d
Matt (2009-07-19 18:34:00)
lol at all you assholes who have to bring race up everytime you
Anonymous (2009-07-18 17:20:14)
Some parts funny, some not. Personally, I didn't like it, seems that way for a lot of other people reading it too, but if you are reading this site then you have to expect the guy to be an asshole.
Tim H (2009-07-18 07:13:37)
Yeah, sorry I didn't find this too funny. Clearly a bunch of race baiting going on here. Otherwise this could have been funny.
anonymous (2009-07-17 14:21:25)
All the racist bullshit, I see after reading the entry cuts off how funny I think the prank actually is. So assholes writing hate in some childish attempt to sound like comedian or to make a point of ho
anonymous (2009-07-17 00:58:11)
THE CLUB... nothing else needs to be said.. im sold
corvettetat (2009-07-16 00:27:16)
"Power windows but you have to turn a crank to roll them down" That is funnier than words can explain!!!!
HHAHAHAHHA (2009-07-15 14:03:08)
OMFG that was lol!
bass hertz (2009-07-14 18:24:13)
I MUST HAVE THIS CAR i love making right turns
anonymous (2009-07-13 19:08:35)
stomach hurts...trying not to laugh out loud at work....lolol
bawhite125 (2009-07-12 20:03:01)
Joe, your attention to detail is impeccable
Anonymous (2009-07-11 15:55:46)
I laughed for five minutes straight, thanks for that.
BGirl4 (2009-07-11 01:12:26)
I have never laughed so hard at a website! this one, high rise fridge, and hard to reach had me in tears!!! You are a genius
Alexis (2009-07-09 20:52:33)
holy crap you are my hero!
Dano (2009-07-09 15:21:08)
Couldnt breath after, "Three right turns can make a left." Fucking amazing dude.
anonymous (2009-07-08 21:33:02)
I think this is my favorite so far! I was losing my breath laughing!
theboss (2009-07-08 19:12:31)
it is genius but you definitely are not since you cannot spell haha
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
ATL TECH (2009-07-08 13:50:10)
Three right turns can make a left..HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR ARE A GENIOUS...!
Tito From ATL (2009-07-08 13:49:30)
THIS SHIT IS FREAKING HILARIOUS>...HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Giggles (2009-07-08 11:03:18)
The $10 air freshner had me sold. LOLOLOL!!
benjula (2009-07-08 07:19:28)
"-the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold." ahaha
LOL! (2009-07-08 06:43:26)
front wheel and rotor, and a motor to pass inspection
LOL!!!~
anonymous (2009-07-07 03:35:09)
Partially f
josue (2009-07-06 15:57:48)
lol
JustMe (2009-07-05 08:04:27)
you know she wanted that Terrell Owens jersey,...why u gotta tease her like that....poor girl!!
darkYuris (2009-07-04 13:02:32)
"Three right turns can make a left." <= LoL xD
anonymous (2009-07-02 18:28:11)
"-it can seat five which is good for kids, but the back seat has beer and urine stains. they have been professionally treated with windex"
Fucking classic!
haha (2009-07-02 06:53:02)
"so you dont want the geo?"
mate that was some fine handling ya did there.
laughed til me chassey dropped the henney
removedperforming cl (2009-06-30 19:18:06)
computer in clean boot mode
haha (2009-06-28 00:25:35)
i have read every one of yours and this is the best! genius
anonymous (2009-06-26 14:54:38)
LOL!
Will you please marry me? You are awesome!
Rene (2009-06-25 12:53:06)
I love this man.
malmal (2009-06-22 06:48:11)
Holy shit u r incredible I seriously can't breath. I just read It to my patient who is so hopped up on nitrous I think he may be dead. Hmm no worries though at least he won't be awake while I extract his wisdom teeth. Silver lining right?
malmal (2009-06-22 06:47:53)
Holy shit u r incredible I seriously can't breath. I just read It to my patient who is so hopped up on nitrous I think he may be dead. Hmm no worries though at least he won't be awake while I extract his wisdom teeth. Silver lining right?
malmal (2009-06-22 06:47:20)
Holy shit u r incredible I seriously can't breath. I just read It to my patient who is so hopped up on nitrous I think he may be dead. Hmm no worries though at least he won't be awake while I extract his wisdom teeth. Silver lining right?
Gopher (2009-06-22 03:17:49)
Rofl Replaced the window with saran wrap
Henry (2009-06-22 00:51:19)
HAHAHAHAHA "5th gear and reverse work, but none of the others"
budman (2009-06-21 02:18:18)
fuck STOP!!!!!!!!!! cant stop laffing....
Anders (2009-06-20 18:50:57)
Three right turns can make a left.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahah.
anonymous (2009-06-20 11:51:07)
"3 right turns make a left"
So true... so true
Jimmy Doyle (2009-06-20 09:02:37)
3 Old Newsweek Magazines!!! HAHAHA
Tessa (2009-06-19 13:43:43)
"It is a 1996 Geo Metro. Almost EXACTLY the same as a Ford Explorer. When looking at the two, I personally can't even tell the difference." So good.
anonymous (2009-06-19 13:20:53)
"246,000 HIGHWAY miles"
haha
Genious (2009-06-19 06:37:49)
lol lol you are too good
MasterRaiger (2009-06-19 03:44:23)
I havve never seen a running car sell for less than 2.5k. She should have just stopped replying to him. At least he was trying.
Jeff (2009-06-18 03:08:03)
fucking awesome!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH
wow (2009-06-18 00:42:18)
it was hard to get through the part about the geo description...way too funny
"- 3 great tires from Walmart, they still have about 200 miles worth of tread on them"
"we're the retards" (2009-06-17 20:02:02)
joe (2009-06-17 17:13:42)
What are you guys talking about? Why do you call the girl stupid
try because she doesnt get that its a joke, ya dumb bastard
how could u stand up for a chick that fucking stupid, gotdamnit ur a fuckin idiot
u ftw (2009-06-17 19:58:07)
"but as long as you dont drive over 40 you shouldnt have any problems"
that put me in tears
LOL (2009-06-17 18:00:48)
Can you include a picture of "Shaniqua" w/her face cut out? It'd be funnier looking at her stupid pose
joe (2009-06-17 17:13:42)
What are you guys talking about? Why do you call the girl stupid when the guy is the one being an asshole? You CAN get an explorer, that runs perfectly fine for 1500. Look on craigslist. You guys are the retards
anonymous (2009-06-17 16:24:22)
LMAO. I had to pause while reading it because I couldn't stop laughing. Loved all the detailed specs you included.
bob (2009-06-17 10:56:06)
"professionally treated with windex" LMAO
dbrickshawfurgeson (2009-06-17 06:05:23)
best one yet
fucktard (2009-06-17 02:25:45)
RADIO DISNEY, WE'RE ALL EARS!!!
anonymous (2009-06-17 01:30:49)
Seriously, what the fuck kind of Ford Explorer does she expect she's gonna buy for $1500? What a moron...
Mia (2009-06-17 00:13:36)
OMG my stomach hurts from laughing...you are fucken good!!!
anonymous (2009-06-16 23:00:44)
"Three right turns can make a left"
awesome :D
Da man (2009-06-16 16:07:48)
Needs a motor lol.
"I will also include three old Newsweek magazines, a used toaster." ROFL
whiteslashasian (2009-06-15 13:12:41)
- AM radio, great for traffic reports and radio disney.
RADIO DISNEY!!! lol
kalounaw (2009-06-14 16:49:34)
this girl is stupid who respond email with ''YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY''. Is she having a seizure or what
anonymous (2009-06-13 14:14:29)
Did she really expect to get a *running* explorer for $1,500? People are dumb.
Markm (2009-06-13 11:51:29)
Dam guy, you really do know how to piss someone off totally!
Mango Johnson (2009-06-12 19:26:06)
She should have taken the Bronco
angryhuman (2009-06-12 16:23:29)
"Due to a wheel alignment problem, the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left." Love it!
anonymous (2009-06-12 12:36:19)
hahahahaha Shaniqua! LMFAO
gbaunaLL (2009-06-12 06:01:12)
-the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold.
lmao
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