E-mails from an Asshole

DontEvenReply.com

E - m a i l s f r o m a n a s s h o l e

Horse Farm

Posted at: 2009-07-14 15:12:55

Original ad:
I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!

From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hey,

I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.

My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don't need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm.

I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don't worry, I'll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren't familiar with one.

You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment.

The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won't see them.

I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start?

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

I'm sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can't give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don't want to pass up on this great job opportunity.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.

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Tim (2014-06-04 13:32:12)
Hahaha this guy wins

mike (2014-01-21 12:01:41)
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Gold Leader (2014-01-07 17:29:12)
Haha love it when something is so funny your abbs hurt

anonymous (2013-12-10 12:06:22)
Horse is tasty. I don't know what bothers people about eating horse meat when they are okay with eating pig or cow meat. Is it because they are uglier than horses? Pigs are certainly smarter.

Somebody (2013-11-30 17:44:55)
Very funny but fuck all you guys talking about eating horses

loollol (2013-11-05 18:58:51)
"I think this would look great on your resume"

HarryHorseLover (2013-10-28 14:27:18)
Seeiously messed up...Horses are people too and that was just RACIST!! My girlfriend happens to be a horse. So take your bigotry and hate elsewhere. Ignorance is the reason we have yet to legalize InterMammal Marriage and why I keep getting arrested.

Arina (2013-10-26 19:31:27)
I had raw horse meat at a yakiniku restaurant in Tokyo. FANTASTIC.

HipsterPie (2013-10-16 06:14:42)
Horse meat is actually fucking tasty and tender when prepared the right way.

BobJones (2013-09-22 22:06:44)
Wow, look at all that food wasted...

What the... (2013-09-01 18:57:56)
As german: What the fuck, horse tastes terrible and I know no one who eats them in germany O_o

TimvdB (2013-08-16 10:45:59)
As a german I have to say, horse tastes really great.

Michael (2013-07-16 04:25:03)
You can give away old horses. They ship them off to Germany and France and they serve them as food.

mikwi (2013-06-19 14:46:15)
@Tommy - You're an idiot. They eat plenty of American food.

RobertDylan (2013-06-14 20:54:56)
@Tommy- yes mans Germans and Frenchs eats shitty foods from the US. I know you ares from Sweden me t�.. al smeigen dere shin da!

arulapragasam (2013-06-12 16:00:16)
Is anyone else getting an add for horse related products at the top right? Too funny.

kimaru (2013-06-09 00:40:34)
hilarious is an understatement

duce bag (2013-05-31 02:23:04)
fucking hilarious

Anonymous (2013-05-26 02:27:28)
Am I evil for wanting to do this? Too many shooting games.

Emairmmab (2013-05-11 21:56:06)
Intéresser le fisc et lire l'intégralité de la confié ma volonté de modèles de la nation pomme de terre au ah! Avis nous vrai qu?il les avait an le mars j'exprimais allons! Toujours hors du salaires auront baissé

The Swede (2013-05-09 19:28:01)
Now, that's how IKEA meatballs are made... Horses are yummy :D

Rob (2013-05-08 19:57:42)
What?

Tim (2013-04-20 04:34:55)
s my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm. Absolutely lost it at this point. Awesome stuff

Javier (2013-04-06 18:21:46)
hahahahahahaahha, awesome!

Tommy (2013-04-06 03:40:02)
@Helpful Information: Yeah like germans and french eats shitty food from USA...Get the fuck out of here.

Esposito rrbz (2013-04-01 13:21:22)
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George V fp (2013-03-31 13:33:43)
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Lem qnl (2013-03-28 02:20:24)
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Helpful Information (2013-03-27 10:51:07)
Actually you can give away old horses. They slaughter them for dog food and if the horse meets standards even for human consumption to ship to Germany or France.

IKEA (2013-03-23 18:48:30)
Are the horses still available?

DurtyBird (2013-03-14 23:39:45)
I thought she was gonna get paid to fuck the horses. :(

Mitt Romney (2013-03-14 23:37:59)
I eat out dead horses for breakfast!

Paula (2013-02-13 05:07:08)
David thorne...I love you.....this dude has nothing on ya,

TigerladyNZ (2013-02-06 21:42:13)
" i hope this site getts banned by the human societty!11!!!' Doubled up with the pain of so much laughter. Thanks Mike and califrnia gurrlll

Chris (2013-01-24 23:18:40)
I think this would look grreat on your resume

Ha! (2013-01-21 00:28:14)
Oh god that's freaking hilarious. I'm crying laughing.

someguy (2013-01-19 19:40:28)
man 15 an hour that's good for an 18 year old I would have took it just for that

Dan (2013-01-18 14:13:37)
Too bad this isn't about the Jews

Tim c (2013-01-11 02:29:25)
Ill take the job. $15 an hour is sweet. I have to stock groceries at a grocery store. I'd much rather slaughter horses. But only if I can cook some and try it. Deal?

anonymous (2013-01-08 00:55:26)
Imagine how ecstatic she was at first when she read, "you will be primarily working with horses."

petiesrevenge (2012-12-08 10:41:08)
Lol this is great stuff. To the people going on about this is why this country suck........ you fucking suck. Ass shats like urself that insult and dog MY country are the reason its not where you want it. Dont like then move to ome third world shit hole

Joe (2012-12-05 03:30:10)
These are great!

BL (2012-11-19 15:31:11)
GEE US A BLOWIE?

Nick (2012-11-16 12:25:51)
"Al D (2012-11-01 13:30:16)" Did you honestly take one persons comment and blame a whole country because of it? You are disgusting.

charger girl (2012-11-13 20:08:51)
Veeeerrrry funny. Some people are just to uptight. Did you vote romney? Lol

Ash (2012-11-04 17:43:01)
This is hilarious. I don't understand why people who are reading these emails are getting angry. If you don't like reading these then leave the site, don't get all self-righteous. I've found all the ones I've read hilarious.

Al D (2012-11-01 13:30:16)
"Tim D (2012-10-28 19:44:47)" -Everything that is wrong with America, winner of the coveted 2012 'Tardy'

Pat Horkings (2012-11-01 00:15:17)
Can I please slaughter those horses?

Tim D (2012-10-28 19:44:47)
Have you nothing better to do than wind people up and piss them off? Get a life for God's sake! No wonder America's going down hill so fast. No doubt you'll vote for Romney in the coming election... What worries me is the "free" world

Balls (2012-10-19 13:22:52)
@Lizzie This is how you spell fucking retard.

Lizzie (2012-10-18 00:13:11)
@ califrnia gurrlll ;3 learn how to spell fuckin retard

califrnia gurrlll ;3 (2012-10-15 11:10:09)
Thays horribal!! Yu meaniee i hope this site getts banned by the human societty!11!!!

desi (2012-10-01 00:44:47)
hilarious

James (2012-09-27 17:57:46)
Aw, you're so mean. That poor girl, I hope you told her it was a joke. She's hoping for a nice little job with horses and then you scare the wits out of her. That's really mean. Okay, it was funny, but also very mean.

Jack UK London (2012-09-01 02:23:05)
The face that it's just some poor young 18 year old girl makes this post double hilarious! Well done!

Theri (2012-08-29 01:56:06)
If this job is still available I'm willing to travel for it. Seriously, sign me up.

rowan (2012-08-07 20:08:29)
absolutely drop dead hilarious, think I started lolling around the time he mentions his new truck.

Willi (2012-07-27 03:16:02)
15 bucks an hour for that? Man, at 18 I'd have been all over that... Sure as hell would have beaten drywall framing...

Mike J (2012-07-20 16:34:08)
This is very funny (trolling not killing horses). Just wondering where do you come with all that crap? Keep posting, you're making Internet interesting.

crosscounter (2012-07-18 22:51:01)
"...pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!" Dayum... you go, girl

Sean (2012-07-05 01:07:26)
Oh god . Mike Anderson again

Ngugi Kimani (2012-06-28 08:24:58)
i have bookmarked this website. am addicted to the posts!!!

MJLBJ (2012-06-24 09:40:29)
When I saw the ad on the first line, killing horses was actually not the job that I expected to be offered. I have a very sick brain... hahahha

Sami (2012-06-24 09:36:01)
That's the art of trolling!

anonymous (2012-06-22 02:33:47)
Haha "clothes that horse blood would compliment"

husain (2012-06-18 14:15:23)
omg im in a library

someone (2012-06-17 20:21:07)
Hey, is the job still available?

Not a fucking bot. (2012-06-17 18:25:04)
@pletcherate Cool where can I get one of your shitty ass trinkets?

fan (2012-06-15 23:17:28)
"The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake" OMG this cracks me up!

Jhm (2012-06-15 01:29:12)
"Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting." OH-MY-GOD, cant stop laughting. "just keep shooting" hahahaha

c-fizzle (2012-06-14 18:52:54)
I made the mistake of reading this at work and I was completely cracking up! I seriously had to walk away from my desk to catch my breath. Thanks for posting!

Steve (2012-05-27 22:38:50)
LOL wow this is genius! I almost died laughing, thanks!

derek (2012-05-26 12:39:31)
ok I am interested in doing this kind of trolling its so funny but I really dont understand how to work craigs list lol if some1 could actually help me with the whole craig's list aspect of it XD

Evan (2012-05-15 19:21:21)
This is the best one I've read yet. Laughing out loud still. "or some clothes the horse blood would complement" ahaha

Monty P. (2012-05-10 11:04:04)
Comedian (look down)

Monty P. (2012-05-10 11:02:14)
" I think this would look great on your resume." Mike, you don't have to respond, but I am curious to how much time you take to respond to your e-mails, if you can almost think this material up on the spot, I think you could be a Hilarious com

Yinka (2012-04-28 16:06:22)
This is totally hilarious!

David (2012-04-26 16:35:15)
I lol'd @ "They don't die right away" XD

Yummy (2012-04-26 15:39:15)
When can I start? :D

blah (2012-04-12 08:29:02)
or wear some clothes the horses blood would compliment

@req (2012-04-07 03:44:51)
where are you from?

Resume (2012-03-30 21:12:27)
-Worked at a farm -Experienced horse killer -Familiar with shotguns and chainsaws --- Hmm...hired! Let me show you to your cubicle!

P@ (2012-03-17 05:56:26)
This is superb! I don't know how I got here.... but I know I'll be back. Thanks - I haven't laughed so much for ages.

:D (2012-03-07 02:42:45)
ill take the job in a heartbeat, should be fun

Bob (2012-03-06 13:36:32)
No one at McDonald's gets paid over $62,000 a year, dumbass. I assume you meant 30 Rupees an hour.

Req (2012-03-05 17:13:13)
I am always shocked by how little people earn in USA. Here it is $30 An hour if you work at McDonald. Well, if you would sink that deep.

D (2012-03-05 01:39:31)
Tried reading this out loud for a buddy and died laughing and crying. Too funny, please do more!

Oxydepth (2012-02-29 05:35:55)
This is probably the funniest troll experience I've ever witnessed. Thank you for that.

GUEST (2012-02-28 21:43:44)
very funny. even funnier than baiting nigerian scammers.

DRE (2012-02-28 16:47:01)
Cant they give the horses away to a glue factory or something better? :P

kris (2012-02-27 01:40:12)
i would take the job for sure, that bitch probably got parents with money, shit 15 dollars an hour beats burger king

Jamal Ibrahim (2012-02-21 21:06:32)
OMG!!! After reading the description of the job, especially "killing horses", I laughed so hard..again!! Nothing funny about killing horses, but imagining Stephanie's reaction is hilarious!!!

dear load (2012-02-17 10:55:36)
wtf?????

op (2012-02-14 21:40:07)
id take the job in a heartbeat....even now at 23...although a shotgun is a little messy id prolly bring my own pistol but still....job taken

redneck (2012-02-10 06:11:57)
What if she had taken the job? Shit, for 15 an hour in highschool, not bad...

Dwight Schrute (2012-02-01 17:35:51)
On Schrute farms, the horse is mainly disposed of in this way, often though we just dig them a grave and sometimes if you dig too deep you hit the horse underneath and you don't want to do that.

Gabby (2012-01-26 00:29:32)
Thats disgusting!

joe bloggs (2012-01-23 16:31:46)
Do any of his victims ever agree with him or say they will help him?

NoHandlebarsAttatche (2012-01-13 13:50:43)
"this would look good on your resume" I'm dying! XD

anonymous (2012-01-02 22:56:45)
I hope the people commenting on this who say they'd take the job are kidding.. if not, you're fucking weird -_-

um (2011-12-21 07:36:02)
that is how farms work though

connor (2011-12-17 15:33:48)
I was really hoping for her to just ask how much it paid or something

Garnet pickard Ham (2011-12-16 00:32:49)
got a bonner as soon as he mentioned chainsaws

Cam (2011-12-12 09:25:53)
hahahahahahahaha to funny!

SSAA (2011-12-10 08:33:29)
Hahahaha :)

Hahaha with bubbles (2011-12-03 11:25:28)
"I think this would look great on your resume" This does it; fucking brilliant!

yanguul tarapdulahb (2011-11-05 00:44:11)
FUCK off cunts

wuTu (2011-11-01 16:10:59)
amazing... simply, amazing... lol

jeje delafrance (2011-10-27 14:22:11)
je me suis piss� dessus

jordan filion (2011-10-25 15:14:01)
gay gay gay

Eric (2011-10-19 17:40:05)
If you could turn this comedic energy into a TV show, i and everyone i know would watch it. but i do think an email conversation between you and David Thorne would be hilargasmic!!:D (hilariouslyorgasmic)

Johnny Eyeball (2011-10-19 11:24:26)
"or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment." Oh god, I can't breathe.

Rusty (2011-10-18 23:59:16)
I would seriously do this job for 15/hour.

snipelfritz (2011-10-13 02:15:24)
If I got this offer and didn't think it was a joke, I would seriously consider doing this for $15/hr. That's damn good pay for a summer job for an 18 year old.

Don Elliott (2011-10-11 23:14:01)
This is terrible and disgusting. Horses are magnificent, beautiful creatures. The thought of throwing away all that perfectly good meat SICKENS me!! Horse is THE MOST DELICIOUS ANIMAL EVAR!!! Dog meat on the other hand is pretty gross.

Ken (2011-10-10 04:28:03)
Wow she's dumb sounds like a good job!

Jer (2011-09-30 10:56:44)
You are awesome.

Chris (2011-09-16 12:37:25)
Thank you very much for this e-mail thread. Thanks to the "dumping them in the lake" line, I now know what Mountain Dew in my nostrils feels like.

Broseph (2011-09-08 16:08:35)
srsly i want that job!! 15 bucks an hour AND u get to kill horses. what kindof dumbass would pass that up?

Kenn (2011-08-25 01:49:20)
Raj (2011-08-09 03:24:51) ahahahaha dude i died laughing reading that :D <<< OH GOD! The zombie apocalypse has begun

alis (2011-08-24 21:52:49)
can't spell slaughter without laughter.

Mitch (2011-08-24 07:04:55)
God damn that's the hardest I've laughed in a while. Each sentence was even more torturous than the last LMAO. I literally cried with laughter on that. Well done.

haha (2011-08-18 00:56:39)
I think this would look great on your resume. cant stop laughing.~!

:D (2011-08-17 16:20:43)

anonymous (2011-08-15 23:18:10)
one of the two adds on the page is for the WSPA talking about stopping animal cruelty. FAIL!

brian (2011-08-15 20:43:01)
you just have to stay calm and keep shooting! fucking genius

John (2011-08-10 01:17:23)
oh my god my sides hurt!!! lmao

Raj (2011-08-09 03:24:51)
ahahahaha dude i died laughing reading that :D

@What (2011-08-05 22:29:55)
So is it safe to assume that LegoRobot is just copying Cyanide & Happiness because they are both webcomics? Or that Dr. Phil is trying to copy Looney Tunes because they are both on television?

gogromat (2011-07-31 22:54:18)
I was already dead by the "you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm." hilarious!

mike-ny (2011-07-31 15:20:47)
I'm lauging so hard I'm sweating and had to spit out my soup, thank you hahaha.

Hans solo (2011-07-31 03:46:01)
Great!!!

@What (2011-07-27 03:58:33)
u seem like a less like someone with a sense of humor and more like a faggot trying to criticize (poorly) other people who can do things u cant. aka run an amusing website. wtf have u ever done that ppl liked?

What (2011-07-25 01:59:20)
This site seems less like humor and more like a dude trying to copy (poorly) 24bslash6 while actively seeking out people to harass.

yep (2011-07-24 03:28:39)
I used to work in the horse killing trade but had to retire after one of the horses launched its leg back into my face leaving a permanent hoof scar just above my upper lip. but it sort of just looks like a moustache so not many people notice

Haywood Jablowme (2011-07-18 16:55:07)
This is email is freaking hilarious!!

lolololololol (2011-07-18 02:09:38)
dumb bitch DON'T EVEN REPLY

bobby (2011-07-13 18:48:46)
i almost got caught myself with this email from him. truely epic, awesome job! (love the site!)

catty (2011-07-13 13:11:01)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is the best one i've seen, you inspire me to be a better troll

ruimpinho (2011-06-27 23:13:17)
HAHAHAHAHAH

Jack (2011-06-20 23:58:57)
Ad on the side.. "Become an animal Officer". I have to admit, this one could be over the edge. But I know it's done in fun. On reddit I saw you actually did feel sorry for her.

So yeah.. (2011-06-19 15:08:30)
This wasn't even remotely funny and I will laugh at just about anything.

LOLOL (2011-06-17 13:34:15)
"I think this will look great on your resume" EPIC

dennis (2011-06-14 13:39:52)
Genius

Maggie (2011-06-12 23:02:59)
haha i love this guy. makes me laugh every time i read it.

Jonny (2011-06-09 18:54:58)
The advertisement is to stop animal abuse. Hahaha

matt (2011-06-09 00:37:54)
Lmao. Wear something that horse blood would compliment.

Black Rose Duelist (2011-06-08 00:25:26)
dude! wrong on sooooooooo many levels!!!!!!!!!!!!

this (2011-06-07 13:56:43)
this joke is rubbish i love the microwave 1

anonymous (2011-06-06 23:40:08)
"As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm." - Well what else would you expect an assistant to be doing?

chippie (2011-06-06 08:55:51)
JUST kidding. . .

chippie (2011-06-05 22:41:06)
Id use a butter knife and do it for free.

Logan (2011-05-28 02:51:20)
I'll take the job if it's still available; sounds like more fun than a monkey with a loaded gun! lol

You are a dipshit (2011-05-27 10:53:46)
15 bucks an hour to do something fun and awesome. Seriously, killing horses is like video games irl, but it's even better cause instead of killing humans, it's just dumb animals. How could anyone refuse?!

.-._-. AIDSFACE (2011-05-25 14:07:06)
PETA IS FUCKING GAY MOTHER FUCKER AND THEY KILL JEWS

squirrel masters (2011-05-25 00:26:45)
Keep them coming loves it

azazel (2011-05-24 18:53:22)
am i the only person who would take this job? haha win

PETA & ASPCA (2011-05-23 21:59:13)
ALRIGHT! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR ADDRESS MIKE LOUGINI ANDERSON! I'D LIKE TO DO SOMETHING TO...AHEM...I MEAN FOR YOU! TELL ME YOUR FUCKING ADDRESS CRUEL BITCH!

RoflSchnofl (2011-05-23 14:27:17)
Lol, there's an ad for a virtual farm game on the bottom.

loooooooooool (2011-05-22 00:24:37)
LOL, there's a horse ad at the bottom. :D

Grammar Nazi (2011-05-20 22:32:03)
"...or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment." Well, technically, it should be complement, not compliment. Compliment means to offer a small amount of praise, while complement means to complete or perfect. By the way, it made me rofl

Klutch (2011-05-20 16:04:48)
I haven't screamed for laughter in awhile... HILARIOUS!

@norm (2011-05-19 21:22:05)
you're not alone lol

MrLargeSchlong69 (2011-05-15 15:37:35)
When I read this, there was an ad for PETA shirts on the side.

norm (2011-05-13 00:45:43)
Horses.. I thought he was going for animal porn

lol (2011-05-06 08:14:14)
It does look good in the resume. Hahaha

Substance242 (2011-05-03 10:53:18)
I also just came back to see this one again. :-) "You just have to stay calm and keep shooting." :-D

48 & Appreciative (2011-04-30 10:14:02)
I read this a while ago and just had to come back and read it (and others) again. Hilarious! Thanks, Dude. You are appreciated. Not sure what's with some of the idiots posting derogatory comments. Messed up and lonely I guess.

marleo (2011-04-18 23:36:57)
Laughing so hard that my face, neck, abs hurt! Well-done! Enjoyed this thoroughly, thank you!

anonymous (2011-04-18 12:21:48)
id do it.. am i fucked up?

logan (2011-04-17 00:24:23)
good lord this guy's awesome. i THOUGHT i was creative and then i read this hahaaa! i do wish he would actually email people though instead of making it up, but bravo man you should write a book

Andrew (2011-04-17 00:09:56)
Out of all seriousness, still with hilarity, THIS IS MY DREAM JOB.

hotbull (2011-04-10 22:27:05)
hahahahahahahahahaha Omg thats horrible

Jon (2011-04-10 20:01:07)
hmm. I've read a lot of these " e-mails ". Some of it is funny. To bad none of these are real. Don't get me wrong, the guy is smart and creative but I wish these were real e-mails. If you want to read something that's actually rea

Aswak (2011-04-09 20:13:41)
Wow, $15 an hour, thats a damn good deal. How could anyone say no? :|

REAKER (2011-04-08 21:04:14)
HORSEBIRTH!!!!!!!

Sam (2011-04-07 09:37:38)
@haha the girl sounds like a child? well she said she as 18.. and anyway why the FUCK are u calling ther guy a 'pedo'..? also...u realize that it's being aroused/attracted to young people makes a person a pedophile.. not TALKING..?

Squirrel Master (2011-04-05 19:03:17)
@ Charles, stop being such a faggot pussy. It's just something to laugh at.

zc (2011-04-03 19:00:34)
Wat would he have done if she had accepted...... i wonder

Charles (2011-04-02 23:57:21)
I wouldn't take that job. I'd report him for the way he is putting the horses down. I'd either buy them or take them to some kinda shelter. Maybe put them on my brother in law's ranch.

haha (2011-04-01 08:20:49)
the girl sounds like a child though, good job pedo

John (2011-04-01 00:32:19)
This is the funniest thing I've ever read.

Lord (2011-03-31 01:28:29)
Hell, I'd do that. Best job I can think of for a kid that age for pay like that.

Butt fucking jesus (2011-03-29 08:46:16)
I'd do it for free, horses blow

lol (2011-03-28 19:38:07)
I would do it. 15$ per hour? hell yeah.

Wanderer (2011-03-26 21:33:43)
laughing my ass off=

lol (2011-03-24 18:25:33)
Yes? You were saying something?

penis (2011-03-24 14:41:25)
lol

The Head Douche (2011-03-24 11:52:07)
Lololol dumb bimbo.. I would have taken the job. Probably another peta bitch.

DasMinorites (2011-03-23 23:13:15)
UGH!! I could go for a fucking horse meat sandwich right now. Also, i agree with u bro. FUCK PETA UP THE ASS!!!! spread the word if you hate peta!~!!!

PETA CAN EAT MY ASS (2011-03-23 22:47:44)
LOL THE PART WHERE THE HORSES WERE GETTIN THROWN IN2 DA HORSE KILLIN MASHEEB GAVE MEH A BONER XDDDD

lol (2011-03-23 17:47:32)
holy shit this is amazing!

* (2011-03-23 11:00:30)
this is by far my favourite so far LOLOL

TrollFaceArms (2011-03-22 23:15:02)
Every blood vessel in my face felt like it was going to explode... is how hard this made me LOL.

Joejangleheimerschmi (2011-03-22 23:06:54)
The ironic thing is, that there are horse flavoured advertisements scattered throughout the webpage as I look at this. As well as an Animal cruelty investigator. LOL!

DrCocktor (2011-03-22 01:26:28)
I would have said yes to the job. If he was trolling, then my counter-troll wins. If he's 4 realz, I GOT A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF HORSE STEAK xD!!

Trollazo (2011-03-16 07:23:34)
"I think this would look great on your resume" hahaha pure gold

Johnny in San Diego (2011-03-15 01:06:04)
I laughed so hard I peed my pants!!!

bravestarr (2011-03-12 06:17:40)
Disturbing...Yet insanely funny!

Rebis (2011-03-11 05:01:26)
Like Paul, I too nearly choked to death while choking from coughing on spit brought on by laughing while lying down. DO NOT LIE DOWN WHILE READING THIS!!!

hahahah (2011-03-10 23:38:14)
@ Carter! LOL!!!! That was pretty good, you made it sound half decent actually, can i get you to write me up a resume hahaha

sarah (2011-03-09 00:36:29)
funniest thing i've ever read

jesse (2011-03-08 21:44:15)
absolutly golden

Carter (2011-03-05 19:42:44)
RESUME: Assistant Post-Mortem Animal Management and Disposal Labourer Mike Anderson Farm, *******, USA 2009-present. Duties include performance of routine tasks, assistance in livestock management, as well as operant of large automotive vehicles

haha (2011-03-05 19:19:53)
I think it would of been funny if the pay was actually a good price, and see if she would have accepted. How would one properly phrase "horse slaughterer" on a resume?

Sav (2011-03-05 13:09:09)
This is so stupid. Get a real sense of humour.

holy..shit (2011-03-01 15:15:26)
i just read some comments. jesus christ, i can't believe how incredibly stupid the aggregate traffic on this site is. this shit is hilarious ! haha btw, stfu if you're a faggy troller. i dont capitalize, yes, stop being an idiot.

suprised (2011-02-28 08:45:28)
where have i been should have seen this site ages ago!!

beel (2011-02-24 19:43:16)
those horses sound like a job for the chevy Killverado.

K9ish (2011-02-22 15:12:34)
How stupid. Ride the horse to the lake and then shoot it. Look at all the extra work that saves plus you get a last ride out the nag. So much for lead a horse to water. Who cares if it drinks or not.

Strazdas (2011-02-21 02:10:30)
15 bucks an hour? where do i sign in?!

F-U Assinstein (2011-02-16 22:07:29)
Douche

Ms. Swan (2011-01-28 02:25:10)
In my country horse delicacy

anonymous (2011-01-23 13:22:30)
Teheehe... mike you are tha bomb!

Lauren (2011-01-15 00:49:51)
or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment. LMFAO!

anonymous (2011-01-12 07:33:16)
this is the funniest thing I ever read. seriously.

G (2011-01-06 18:54:04)
HAHAHA... "tap a keg" I'd pay to see somebody tap a keg with one of those

Steve (2011-01-01 17:10:57)
"He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it." absolute gem

Haha (2010-12-31 18:35:32)
Just keep shooting lol

Babylon (2010-12-21 04:45:47)
I think Mike have a "violent" imagination, seeing most of his works are invlove blood, shotgun, killing animal, etc. Some are funny though, but still i found there is something odd and weird with his imagination.

yo mama (2010-12-16 17:20:42)
"Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume. " BAHAHAHA

Fyre (2010-12-12 18:43:14)
Haha, I've been a horse lover my entire life but I still laughed so hard at this! "I think this will look great on your resume"

Paul (2010-12-12 00:01:50)
I was lying down when I read this, and as I began to laugh (really hard) I began to choke on my spit. This is hilarious.

Corky (2010-12-02 21:05:52)
Don't fart Kevin

Kevin (2010-12-02 20:31:13)
I just farted

Iron Maiden (2010-12-02 15:39:45)
but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg, lol

SlyDick (2010-11-30 00:10:11)
Absolutely Wonderful... 5 star performance sir

Pete (2010-11-15 18:43:43)
Yep the resume thing at the end is what gave me the biggest laugh LOL

TheNewGuy (2010-11-14 03:17:52)
My friend referred me to this site and can I say well worth the time

Joe (2010-11-04 12:15:12)
15$ an hour, what a sucker... I woulda done it for ten

Bendistocratic (2010-11-01 13:20:50)
"...this will look great on your resume" LOL HAHAHAHAHA

Tdawg (2010-11-01 02:48:57)
"You just have to stay calm and keep shooting." LOL

Carly (2010-10-29 17:55:30)
whehehe dis is funny shit!

boner (2010-10-25 01:20:16)
That just made my day i never laugh out loud but holy shit that was good

Philly (2010-10-19 09:29:34)
funniest part: Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. LMAO

J Bombo (2010-10-13 22:17:53)
I'm currently out of work. Is there a waiting list you can put me on? I've shot milk cartons with a 20-gauge before.

THIS IS FUNNY (2010-10-10 15:06:23)
I�M LAUGHING SO HARD!

Roldie (2010-10-05 02:02:10)
Man, haven't laughed so hard for awhile. good stuff

Tyler (2010-09-28 03:15:55)
LOL! "I think this would look great on your resume!"

anonymous (2010-09-27 13:44:01)
I'd give my left nut to work on your farm! What do you say?

luchi (2010-09-21 14:10:41)
New to your site...you are excellent...

Roger (2010-09-18 19:03:01)
HAHAHA I want to work on your farm LOL

Teri (2010-09-16 15:11:09)
Yea this was a bit disturbing but still kinda funny.

BlerSporo (2010-09-01 05:36:58)
I introduce that you do something with brotherhood if you can. They've been too tatty out to shape this happen. It bequeath traverse you deliver to overpower your sorrows. However, I deliver at no time seen a "how to" dissertation on their

Icez (2010-08-29 00:58:10)
OMFG HAHAHA

Hilncore (2010-08-17 22:24:36)
I really thought it was awful, but FUNNY AS HELL!!

Jose (2010-08-16 15:10:41)
I don't usually laugh audibly when reading funny stuff on the internet, but I couldn't keep myself from LOLing and having to pause reading in order to catch some breath from this one. Nice job.

philly rick (2010-08-16 14:41:32)
I don't remember the last time I've been doubled over in laughter...probably a Richard Pryor routine 30 years ago. This is priceless shit.

monique (2010-08-16 10:21:48)
This guy makes me shit myself with laughter! i havent laughed this hard in so long!

Roundhouse (2010-08-11 15:01:19)
Cock Pussy Jizz Farts Buttcheeks Boobies Wangs

Dana <3 (2010-08-09 09:02:17)
genius... :))

Bohatnik (2010-08-04 20:39:26)
Oh my god, I laughed so hard at this that it took me half an hour to read the whole thing. It's obvious that a lot of thought went into this. You are fucking sick and I love it!

Ash (2010-08-02 09:09:03)
The ending is perfect.

vemma5240 (2010-08-01 19:48:24)
You certainly deserve a round of applause for your post and more specifically, your blog in general. Very high quality material

nismo (2010-07-30 17:25:22)
$15 an hour? where do I apply?

Ricardo Jorge (2010-07-29 12:05:09)
Everyone in the room is looking at me because i started laughing so loudly. Kudos for you, sir

dee (2010-07-28 17:55:00)
I just laughed soooo hard!

asdfjkl; (2010-07-28 17:17:55)
$15 an hour? I would seriously take this job.

cd (2010-07-24 22:57:32)
Poor, dear John, whatever did your parents do to you growing up!? Please thank them for me.

Big Fan (2010-07-23 22:46:03)
You sir, are truly an asshole. I applaud you.

D.P. (2010-07-22 09:47:29)
Ahahah, best one so far! Poor girl xd

BK Wang (2010-07-21 18:54:26)
Why do you throw them in the lake? I will give you $10 for horse meat

kansas (2010-07-18 20:07:59)
this would look great on your resume. the best ending!!!!!!!!! :) Im get this kind of job to my resume right now maybe the lawyer office will employ me:)

YesHappyHello (2010-07-17 06:07:36)
"He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake"

anonymous (2010-07-16 21:56:27)
OMG I would love to have some horses after u slaughter them. We chinese ppl love horse meat

Anonymous (2010-07-15 06:22:07)
i love this site, but poor stephanie.. i hope she found some employment.

God (2010-07-14 13:36:13)
xDDDD You should have said "kill" and "dump in river" in a more elegant, politically correct way to get her in more. I.E. put to rest, put to sleep, dispose of, clean up.

For the retards (2010-07-13 23:50:27)
I dont see any problem with slaughtering unwanted horses. This one wasnt even funny.

Pepper (2010-07-12 16:06:35)
"This would look good on your resume"

Kyle Broflovski (2010-07-11 10:27:18)
Stan, what're you doing on here?

a (2010-07-09 21:55:46)
id do it for $10/hr.

cue (2010-07-05 11:28:01)
"...or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment."

Dan (2010-07-05 10:24:12)
I love how the girl gets excited when she's finding out she'll be working with horses. 'Oh great, I loved horses and used to ride them all the time' 'Perfect, because you will executing them with a 12-gauge-shotgun' Hahah

Nicolle (2010-07-03 23:56:59)
Holy shit, this is the funniest thing I've ever read. I love this site. I'm glad some people have a sense of humor.

adrian (2010-06-30 05:51:40)
this would look great on your resume!

Nuhra (2010-06-28 09:32:19)
"The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake." WTF XD

Douche Fuck (2010-06-24 19:34:09)
I am a loser

Wakacje (2010-06-20 14:37:17)
Great Post. I add this Post to my bookmarks.

Ryan (2010-06-20 13:14:55)
Wear clothes the horse blood will compliment.... I choked when I read that

Jenn (2010-06-19 17:53:51)
LMAO! "It would look great on your resume" LOL!

PISS (2010-06-15 10:35:55)
LOVE IT! Can't wait to read another one. I laugh so hard at all this shit! Please more stories!

@knuckles sucks (2010-06-15 02:29:21)
Your a faggot bitch horses need too be slaughtered or the second coming of Jesus will be apon us, is that what you want? Faggot.

Ducans penis (2010-06-15 02:27:07)
I'm small!

me (2010-06-15 01:38:03)
Fuck man! I'd kill to have a job like that!

L-O-L bot (2010-06-12 08:27:54)
LMFAO!!

knuckles sucks (2010-06-10 18:20:07)
Aww, aren't you tough big boy? So how was your fifth birthday? I can tell you got a computer from it!

Carl Marsh (2010-06-07 11:28:49)
Help! i am captive in the bassement

Stan Marsh (2010-06-05 21:10:44)
Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?

Sharon Marsh (2010-06-01 19:03:55)
Randy, I told you to get off the internet now!

dude (2010-05-30 21:42:05)
'or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment' hhaahahaha. bit harsh on the 18 year old, she probably had nightmares lol

Randy Marsh (2010-05-30 05:55:19)
Hey Sharon

OMGoh (2010-05-29 12:48:24)
You are soooo not nice. Like, omg. Too funny. You're brilliant- but have to admit- was hoping for a beastiality line

OMFG (2010-05-28 14:27:46)
"I think this would look great on your resume." I am soooooo in love. I have been reading this shit all day i cant stop!!! Sooooooo gooooood. All u haters can suck it.

SeanB (2010-05-25 04:19:25)
'You'll be working primarily with horses' At this moment I thought one thing. Farm Porn. It was hilarious nonetheless but I was a bit disappointed =p

Leon (2010-05-23 13:04:18)
that is kind of.. scary?

jason (2010-05-20 03:12:07)
I almost shit my pants... i was crying as i read this i was laughing so hard at like 2 in the morning.

steph (2010-05-11 17:01:34)
wtf man. this isnt funny at all. killing horses? fucking panzy.

Ajira (2010-05-06 05:43:48)
Lawl!

Great! (2010-05-05 21:21:58)
One word: AWESOME!!

Sugasnaxxx (2010-05-03 18:51:28)
I am an ethical vegan, and I still think this is hilarious, lol.

The angry neighbor (2010-05-03 00:39:22)
There is no one that plays along? or do you not post such emails? I mean, I know if I get emails like that, I will either ignore, or play along. it is clear, emails are not serious, but these people can't get it.

smacd (2010-05-02 00:38:26)
hahaa i would tottaly do this job if someone offered it to me sounds like a lot of fun to slaughter horses on a hot summer day i bet they taste good to maybe we could cook a few of them on the grill

mheatley (2010-04-22 22:57:00)
sick- I love it.

lulzi (2010-04-20 22:55:31)
Good stuff. Truly a trolls troll.

Beernut (2010-04-20 12:14:40)
haha it would have been funnier if she was just like "yeah sure I kill animals all the time"

kbm (2010-04-19 22:10:11)
@knuckles, you take this shit way too seriously, man.

knuckles (2010-04-19 17:51:53)
so... this is the 2nd top-rated post on the site, huh?? wow. Literally anyone could do this. I'm sorry but this site is fucking lame. not worth the time at all. I hope this dude emails me someday, I'll trace his IP and kill him in his sleep :D

umble (2010-04-18 12:31:32)
sounds like dwight off the office

Hannah (2010-04-14 19:10:10)
I love the resume part! I bet all employers will be excited to see a young lady slaughtering horses!! :D

Christina (2010-04-13 10:52:04)
I like the resume part

gbc (2010-04-09 01:44:33)
this is bonecrushingly funny shit !!!

Really?? (2010-04-04 09:33:54)
Don't waste pet food and/or glue that's the crime here.

anonymous person (2010-04-01 17:20:54)
You should really get your own show!! like on MTV!!!

True stories! (2010-03-22 22:20:17)
Haha, I was so inspired that I have been trying similar stuff on CL's around the nation. You wouldn't believe what people will fall for!

Amber (2010-03-22 20:00:05)
Haha. Win.

Miggy (2010-03-22 10:29:46)
awesome site!

ZXoi (2010-03-20 12:17:44)
5 star excellence!

C-Murda (2010-03-19 08:38:47)
Dumb ass farmer should have called Bryan Hathaway. This farm would have been a paradise for him.

anonymous (2010-03-19 01:57:29)
yeah really who cares if they are fake?

anonymous (2010-03-17 20:35:03)
Who cares if they're fake? They're still funny.

anonymous (2010-03-16 20:49:35)
most of the emails on this site are clearly fake, i dont understand how people can take this seriously

Anon (2010-03-16 18:47:06)
OMG so funny i couln't breathe the entire time LOL!

Elias (2010-03-16 10:52:45)
I could do that work, since I live on a farm anyway, and animals aprrenely dies after age, deseases or traffic accidents (normally cats), death is just a part of nature. the question is when it come xD. However for an usual farm, just send it to destruct

o.0 (2010-03-15 08:27:11)
zomg. I LOVE THIS! hahaha

Para (2010-03-08 11:26:39)
I have plenty of clothes that could use a touch of blood ;)

ur mom (2010-03-04 12:28:58)
LOL

the wild B (2010-03-03 15:02:21)
BAHAHHAH i second Choads words : "I'm gonna stop reading these at work so I can actually laugh as loud as these emails warrant." -So true...my boss can see me from my computer and I can't not laugh cus this is just too damn good, so I

DeMoN (2010-03-03 05:33:04)
Cant beat "Disguised Weapons", but this is a very close second. Awesome!

Yakuza (2010-03-03 03:26:41)
BWAHAHAHAHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......... great......

anonymous (2010-03-02 17:38:45)
Thank you stumbleupon, this is an awesome website

T (2010-03-01 20:24:46)
Just found this website, i almost laughed myself to death. best website ever!!

Nategoalie (2010-02-25 18:11:35)
This is my first time finding this site. I Laughed till i cried .First Time Ever ! thank you! You a Gem!

anonymous (2010-02-25 09:43:48)
"it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg" I love this site forever.

Ben Dover (2010-02-23 05:29:33)
yeah, shoot those hairy hoofed shit machines.

mj (2010-02-23 05:22:02)
why bother with the lake? Sell'em to the glue factory!

cris (2010-02-22 17:33:49)
dupa

-E- (2010-02-21 13:22:45)
too bad you didn't suggest riding them into the pond before killing them so blood wouldn't go everywhere

anonymous (2010-02-21 11:38:39)
super

skoll (2010-02-18 19:34:02)
funny since it was a girl i would have thought it would have involved implying that she would participate in bestiality

Daz (2010-02-18 13:22:05)
Sean... You know it's just a joke,

twerdna (2010-02-18 05:56:23)
this page rules. every story had me laughing till my face hurt. where are there more sites similar to this?

Sean D (2010-02-17 16:54:23)
I would do it. This girl is obviously to immature to work on a farm.

Mikk (2010-02-16 13:51:46)
OMG, too funny, and I even own a horse!

bender (2010-02-15 17:54:44)
Come on Stephanie!!

soma simone (2010-02-15 15:10:33)
crap i read them way fast grrrrredy me - often comes real LOL at those comments - holy splitting shit - nothing 4 black beauty-lovers here - i loved it as almost all !!! my kinda humor as well Very Good Ω - Job - keep on

taco (2010-02-14 21:26:39)
tacos

Jeff (2010-02-14 15:35:51)
So awesome.

michael (2010-02-14 03:59:55)
man i wish that job was real i would do that in a heartbeat. the 2 things i love most killing things and money.

Riot (2010-02-14 03:39:54)
Best part was use of the cindrblocks

Horse Hater (2010-02-12 17:34:44)
OMG "You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting." Funny as hell

Levi (2010-02-12 10:27:40)
I ROFLd the whole time reading it

PCVBenin (2010-02-12 09:24:11)
Amazing. Thank you.

rem (2010-02-12 03:23:23)
why would you use a bolt pistol to tap a keg? that will break the bolt pistol!

shutyourpiehole (2010-02-11 08:42:08)
Seriously, Not good. I appreciate the Web site but no imagination in this one.

Mom (2010-02-11 07:19:07)
I laughed so hard, I delivered my baby prematurely. Bravo!

nick (2010-02-10 23:23:27)
I would actually take that job. no joke.

Kbon (2010-02-08 01:50:52)
This is really great! My kind of humor :)

John Locke (2010-02-04 00:39:51)
DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO

Uffy (2010-01-25 16:40:08)
ow good lord , this is brilliant :D

Kiss my ass (2010-01-24 11:22:29)
this is soooo FUNNY I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF LOL!!!!!!!!

Loogie (2010-01-23 14:57:54)
Hey, I'll work on the farm for you! I WOULD LOVE TO WACK THOSE HORSES! I CAN DO LIKE JASON AND WACK THEM WITH A MACHETTE OR LIKE THE MOB...TAKE THEM OUT BACK AND BOTTA BOOM BOTTA BING! BAAAAM!!!!

hammerhead messiah (2010-01-16 14:04:03)
Job still open?

dale (2010-01-15 11:32:37)
10/10! probably favourite one so far

anonymous (2010-01-13 04:19:57)
"Or some clothes that the horseblood would compliment" BWA HAHAAHAH

anonymous (2010-01-11 03:08:24)
I've read all of them because they are hilarious and this one isn't the best, it is far from the best. Too bad. I don't see the couch one on the top rated... How is that possible? Did you just randomly pick some to put under top rated? Afte

Louie (2010-01-08 22:10:31)
This is the best by far. "need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts " Unbelievable!!! LoooooooooooL

Nacho (2010-01-08 02:52:17)
"You just have to stay calm and keep shooting" LOL, epic.

bacculus (2010-01-07 19:38:23)
He gives this girl EVERY chance to realize it's a fucking joke. This site is a fascinating look at human stupidity. Love it!

arsenal (2010-01-07 14:13:11)
this cunt needs to get a life.not funny. jewish

hahah (2009-12-31 15:36:00)
or clothes the horse blood would compliment

Coughed up a lung (2009-12-29 13:27:43)
Just discovered this site.....I think I peed myself...

anonymous (2009-12-27 17:25:07)
i definitely think KONS FOR KIDS or the COUCH one with the dead grandpa should be top rated

dena (2009-12-21 02:00:57)
ROFLMAOOOO

sho-off (2009-12-20 17:01:21)
OMG ... I'm only pissed that I didn't think of doing these emails first!

Anth (2009-12-17 02:32:32)
This is the top rated? Won't be wasting my time with the rest of this site!

BBmG (2009-12-09 18:01:20)
Is it bad one of my first responses would be, "can I keep some of the bones?" xD

DaDuke101 (2009-12-05 20:39:06)
hahaha good shit

MEMEME (2009-12-05 16:26:39)
fuck yo u arsenal lets see you do better.

Arsenal > All Others (2009-12-05 15:09:37)
That one sucks. Shouldn't be on top-rated. Minesweeper should be though. That one's brilliant!

anonymous (2009-12-02 22:06:26)
hahahahahahhaha i am crying right now

Tiimuh (2009-11-30 11:20:31)
this is the funniest thing I have ever read in my liPr

KJ (2009-11-30 05:03:39)
Super funny, except I hope to god people aren't actually stupid enough to keep replying to jackass emails. You think they are all real?

Rachel (2009-11-29 12:45:12)
"He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake" I LOVE YOU!

botox (2009-11-29 05:29:10)
"I think this would look great on your resume. " LOLOLOLOLOLOL EPIC

Rittah (2009-11-27 06:53:07)
This is my favorite!! Hahah! keep on coming!

Lee Lee (2009-11-26 19:27:39)
I laughed so hard I peed a little. yup that's right. I said it.

OKSD (2009-11-26 12:52:14)
i just quivered with laughter. LMFAO

ihatehorses (2009-11-25 04:37:33)
fuck all your fucking horses... i killed a horse once.. i felt amazing when i did it!!!! its sucha big rush

tnc (2009-11-20 17:50:45)
i own 5 horses and i have always owned horses and i still find this funny. i am all for horswe slaughter as long as it is done in a humane way.

Islaughter horses (2009-11-20 03:42:53)
hey epona, i hope you're riding your horse and a fuckin bus slams into you two idiots.

Equestrian Fan (2009-11-20 00:05:07)
While I don`t mind you mocking others to provide humor, when my friend showed me this, I was horrified. I`ve been riding horses for over 8 years, and this post really offended me. Even if it is in jest, I have seen to many horses beaten and abused because

penis muffin (2009-11-18 17:08:31)
cool

Nick (2009-11-18 03:06:56)
"...or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment." I'm choking with laughter.

Sam neil (2009-11-16 18:28:45)
hahaha

Thoman Goodwin (2009-11-16 18:28:27)
OMG

Frankie Boy (2009-11-15 04:44:24)
LOL jeg skal pule dere alle i r�vsprekka or NOOOT

Lonan (2009-11-13 14:41:41)
You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. LOL priceless.

Crosp (2009-11-11 08:43:49)
Women are so stupid and gullible.

Libra (2009-11-10 21:03:55)
"I think this would look great on your resume." Classic

Andy (2009-11-08 15:15:49)
My friend Vincent would be perfect for this job. He loves slaughtering old horses, and would actually save you money on gas because he enjoys using a dull hacksaw. For references call me at 216-***-****

Alecksandr (2009-11-06 21:20:18)
I have a hernia from laffing

mowglibutt09 (2009-11-06 05:26:00)
I read all the posts. Now what do I do?

the hack (2009-11-05 22:15:27)
this is fucking epic lmao

anonymous (2009-11-05 18:19:55)
J you are a fucking pussy

MrNiceGuy (2009-11-04 13:05:31)
Dear Mike, Please remove the racist fucking comment from the ignorant fucking redneck republican below me. Go fuck your sister Jesse

niceladseekingperson (2009-11-01 11:47:31)
my socks is yellow and red at the same time. i'm so fucking proud of them. have you any socks that are so special!!! i didn't think so!! 8-)

piemaster (2009-10-29 15:20:38)
wtf....its just fuckin awesome! i havent seen suc a funny thing in a fucking while! thanx for this. i lke it.

Yin Chang (2009-10-29 12:44:20)
Somalia best country? What about Vietnam? Mike use my name in email, family very proud.

anonymous (2009-10-27 03:13:01)
@Lib: That's a very non-neutral thing to say. Greetings from the greatest country on fucking earth... SOMALIA BITCHES!!!

Snarfblatt (2009-10-26 17:06:13)
this is not funny. After my sister drowned from a carelessly discarded six pack holder she was quartered and tossed in a lake.

MWL (2009-10-22 01:12:28)
You got me when you said you broke your cattle gun while trying to tap a keg. This has to be the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thank you

Lib (2009-10-20 16:00:18)
hahahaha! Great! I love it! Nice job, congrats from Switzerland!

JuiCe (2009-10-19 03:36:19)
This was really funny... I hope you keep messing with ppl!

Neighbor (2009-10-16 19:35:03)
You sick fucking bastard.. you better stop throwing them dead horses in my lake!!!

ashton (2009-10-15 00:15:06)
hahahhahahahahahaha nothing funnier in the world.

A guy (2009-10-09 17:06:34)
Holy shit, thats hilarious.

Ogre (2009-10-09 15:30:22)
I'm in the market for someone who has a history in the horse killing field..Great benefits and a retirement pkg. will be offered. Bonus' will be afforded in conjunction with the efficiency you show. Serious inquiries only

Please write (2009-10-06 23:26:14)
a book man. This is genius and far funnier than most of the crap out there.

anonymous (2009-10-04 14:28:12)
Omfg, holy crap I just laughed so hard that I couldn't breath, and my throat hurts. Jesus H. Tap dancing Christ that was hilariousss.

N (2009-10-03 23:48:56)
'I think this would look great on your resume.'...Ya how are you suppose to tell your new boss, 'Oh ya by the way I killed horses for $15 an hour...' gay!

knull (2009-10-02 15:53:46)
hehe har akkurat knulla pappa, skikkelig digg med gammal r�vdangel og rompeskum

lol (2009-10-02 15:53:13)
Hehe, det er skikkelig lattis ass, er bare n�dt til � lolle hele veien til banken og pule gamliser samtidig v�tt. Sug balleronk ass

Painful (2009-09-30 00:15:25)
My cheeks still hurt from laughing so hard!

daedric (2009-09-29 22:59:12)
amazing. though a little overdone in the large response (doing it when the neighbor wasnt watching), it was still hilarious.

dead horse (2009-09-28 21:36:08)
hey sucker, your one sick fuk poor horses should stomp the sht out of ya

StereoDevil (2009-09-26 02:07:37)
Laughing so hard I got tears in my eyes! HAHHAHHA

Yarak (2009-09-24 08:28:53)
auhauha am�n� neyini sikem, kar�ya bah ne i� olsa yapar�m diyor ama at �ld�rm�yor, blowjob da yapar m�s�n keva�e stefani, k��k orospu i�inde uyumama izin verir misin?

Danko (2009-09-23 17:16:13)
Flippin' hilarious! You'd make a great Radio talk host!! Reading all this stuff feels like listening to one of those. Brilliant stuff, keep'em coming!

L (2009-09-23 16:44:28)
"I think this would look great on your resume." LOLOLOLOL I want to meet you.

Nellsbells8 (2009-09-21 00:08:14)
Classic

if you don't want to (2009-09-20 06:29:59)
if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. omFg that was the funniest thing i seen on this site, it was so convincing nd serious. But the image of her driving a car, dragging

Caitlin! (2009-09-20 01:35:37)
YOU ARE SO FUCKIN FUNNY! THIS IS SO MY HUMOR!!

Jeni (2009-09-19 17:52:09)
OMG.. I just found your site today and i have been laughing to the point where i almost pissed my pants.. You are a fucking legend. LMAO.

wallyinpants (2009-09-19 09:19:09)
Delicious glue.

DirtyGirl420 (2009-09-18 17:23:37)
You are a fucking genius! I want to buy you a delicious meal.

Phife (2009-09-18 12:58:27)
LOL @ trying to tap a keg with a cattle gun. I should try that.

kimchi (2009-09-17 02:41:02)
i wish i could see the expressions on peoples faces when they recieve your emails priceless

Gary (2009-09-11 13:56:14)
OMG thats a phenomenal gun.

MahiMahi (2009-09-11 13:54:19)
I'll take the job if I can use my 1911!

Amazed (2009-09-10 13:33:03)
How could an offer like this ever be taken seriously by anyone?

corporatecutie (2009-09-09 19:57:57)
dude you are a genius - these are sooo funny!

cladd (2009-09-08 15:13:14)
every single one of these things is amazing.

anonymous (2009-09-05 16:49:44)
Fucking awesum. Gratz to you for that masterpiece!

graciano (2009-09-03 01:26:31)
"It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment." godddammm this is so funny

anonymous (2009-09-01 19:56:10)
Seems like Shannon (and a bunch of other morons) aren't exactly the brightest bulbs in the chandalier.

Shannon (2009-09-01 18:52:56)
wow...that's really disturbing. i'd like to report him to the animal cruelty police.

Kdf (2009-08-29 16:51:16)
Laughed till I cried. Thanks!

tatianna (2009-08-28 23:09:58)
"Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume." hahahahah. genius.

mike anderson (2009-08-27 13:31:12)
i was hoping you would reply to my ad. instead, i had 80 emails from people really wanting to do this job. Hello, My husband is away on a business trip and I would really like to take advantage of this opportunity to completely clean out our computer.

cyndaminthia (2009-08-26 03:20:02)
If I never need to laugh out loud alone in my apartment, I come to this website, and it never fails. This one's great. Probably traumatized this poor girl for life!

kristin (2009-08-25 17:32:39)
this shit is so funny.. who is the genious behind these fuckin conversations hahahahaha - if i wasnt broke off i would totally donate haha one dayy

TroyDavid (2009-08-25 15:29:06)
Lol. "This would look great on your resume" HA!

Criz (2009-08-25 14:30:46)
Funny shit. I have ppl in the office looking at me like I am crazy! Good!

Criz (2009-08-25 14:29:42)
Ppl need to stop taking these e-mails so personal and offensive. Again, ppl, this person is just making up a character that may very well exist and is taking up that role. If you are reading any of these then u should know that they are for entertainment

anonymous (2009-08-24 20:08:54)
I am crying. Well played.

Gidget (2009-08-24 14:51:50)
Though this is morbid, it is absolutely one of my favorites. I laughed so hard I could have died! Awesome, dude.

Kisumi (2009-08-23 11:20:16)
is this for real?

Josh (2009-08-22 16:20:42)
Absolutely hilarious! I have never laughed so much. This site rocks.

CaptainBanana (2009-08-22 09:53:42)
I'm also french and there are so many words to describe this site: awesome, crazy. You're a genius

tex (2009-08-22 08:37:50)
I am french ! and my english is not good enough but you make me laugh like never before ! keep it up man . you are a genius

Anders (2009-08-22 08:04:11)
Great!

LOAH (2009-08-20 22:19:22)
This story is LOAH approved. Nice work.

Riley and Oakie (2009-08-20 19:28:38)
We are horses and Riley is old and I cut my leg on accident and have been treated for 5 weeks now. We do not see the humor in all this. Why don't you kill old people instead. Wouldn't that be more funny?

AbigPENIS (2009-08-20 15:56:17)
lol

Psyco (2009-08-20 07:05:58)
haha i would do it for Free:) i love to kill animals

sammy (2009-08-19 18:28:13)
LOL* where I come from we actually do eat horses. They got good meat. Maye you can export your horses to my country if you want to get rid of them?

SuperAndy (2009-08-19 03:41:02)
Hell for $15 an hour I would do it. So what happens when you get someone who doesn't give a fuck and takes you up on these stuipd emails? Oh yea you dont post those.

Joe V (2009-08-18 22:47:37)
ahahhahahaha

Sparky (2009-08-18 17:54:40)
OMG! Uncontrollably LMAO! You're a genius!

anonymous (2009-08-18 09:09:05)
sooo funny this man is toooo funny

Paul J (2009-08-17 14:02:12)
"I suggest wearing...some clothes that the horse blood would compliment..." AHAHAHAHA, classic!

manimal (2009-08-17 08:50:38)
fuckin funny how stephanie keeps on replying.... keep em coming man

haha (2009-08-17 04:54:33)
funny

sNiTcH (2009-08-17 03:59:11)
lols my goodness

anonymous (2009-08-16 23:39:02)
I'd do it... sounds like a great job

DigiJeff (2009-08-16 16:03:39)
Hilarious love the humor....HAHAHA

anonymous (2009-08-16 15:13:27)
How can we email you ones we've done ourselves? Maybe you can put some up? I have some good ones

rocky (2009-08-15 23:19:51)
THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!

wow (2009-08-15 19:27:02)
killing old horses great on the resume fersher

Norman (2009-08-15 15:14:33)
Hey, how about setting up an RSS feed to make it easier to follow new entries?

Big Bob (2009-08-14 10:53:26)
I've been doing this for years, even have a cat or two

Oh my! (2009-08-13 22:00:01)
That was funny.

Elmers (2009-08-13 17:09:17)
I OWN horses and still think this is hysterical!!

snowB1 (2009-08-12 09:01:36)
I made the mistake of reading this while i was in class. i started cracking up laughing and the prof knew i wasnt paying attention to him.

Yomama (2009-08-12 02:05:13)
That would be a great job.

Psychopath (2009-08-12 00:44:10)
Seriously I would do a job like this for free.

SatansMama (2009-08-09 15:02:26)
Some good laughs on this site, but nothing pants-crappingly funny as this one. I almost gave myself a hernia laughing. MORE PLEASE!

Paul (2009-08-09 10:33:05)
currently in tears

Sunny (2009-08-08 13:17:11)
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKIN SITE I HAVE EVER VISITED. I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF SO MUCH! KEEP IT UP MAN.

Duncan's Assistant (2009-08-07 10:03:39)
This is funny because Stephanie earnestly seeks a simple summer job, gets asked to shoot and dismember horses, proclaims it as "truely sick," then explains "that is not how farms work."

jam (2009-08-06 19:21:31)
hi

Tod Ayismy Birthday (2009-08-06 16:48:52)
Ghhello! Happy Birthday!

horsecock (2009-08-06 16:05:20)
poor horses

monty76 (2009-08-06 15:28:41)
f**ing hilarious "clothes that would compliment horse blood" and i want to meet cum guzzling lauren!

Joe (2009-08-05 20:27:49)
hhahaha I think this would look great on your resume LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob Vila (2009-08-05 19:14:58)
That's an icorrect way to take care of a lake.

anonymous (2009-08-05 17:47:49)
I'll do it. Still avalbible?

Goon (2009-08-05 11:16:12)
Hey, dummy. When you're done smoking a J and humping your tree, I need you to do something for me. I need you to wake up and remember that A. it's a joke, and B. you're not a horse so it's not going to happen to you. Unless of course yo

LOL (2009-08-05 02:35:24)
Dang, I really want to get that job, I mean you get to use a shotgun and chainsaw. That's just freaking awesome.

LMAO (2009-08-04 02:03:47)
LMAO Maybe that's the idiot he was emailing?? I'm coughing up my lungs I'm laughing so hard!!

anonymous (2009-08-04 01:21:47)
okay is the comment below me for real? seriously. if you're not joking then i just died inside.

anonymous (2009-08-04 01:08:25)
this is fucking sick. u guys are a bunch of fucking assholes! i no that you can kill horses but fucking not like this. that is fucking bullshit. our fucking steers at least go a good way not this way. that is fucking sick and yall all should fucking go to

Ashley (2009-08-04 01:06:21)
AHHAHAHAHAHAHFGHFDJGHFHDJGD AHAHAHHAHAHA OMG oh my god, died.......just died.

carlie (2009-08-03 11:46:14)
This is the best shit i have ever read in my life. seriously, it's fucking genius!

Zpete (2009-08-03 06:57:13)
Sending this to my dorta, once I stop laffing and wipe my eyes. She is horse mad, anything horsey is her delight

Chaz (2009-08-01 23:41:25)
The funny thing is.. Horse meat is actually good and better than cow meat. And considering how most farms work.. yes... farms slaughter animals in inhumane ways. At least a shotgun is a quick way out. Not like the cows who are still alive and hanging from

JettaJameson (2009-08-01 03:36:43)
That was a real piece of genius right there. Hahahaha! I've read it to about 10 people. It's a riot!

cock (2009-07-31 19:20:55)
balls

anonymous (2009-07-30 18:59:14)
BEST ONE, EVER.

a (2009-07-30 01:08:15)
This is my absolute favorite

n gay (2009-07-28 01:51:22)
AWE :(

Lisa's labia (2009-07-28 00:20:21)
EASY PEASY!! YOU JUST HAVE TO PULL THE TRIGGER!!!

Lisa (2009-07-27 16:01:43)
Bastards, how could u do that to a horse?

Real Life LOL (2009-07-27 15:12:00)
Probably shouldn't have been reading this one at work. Couldn't contain the laughter after the "cattle gun" part. Way to crush a young girl's dream of ponies and smiles!

JonXen (2009-07-26 17:19:55)
Fuckin awesome!

Josh (2009-07-26 02:55:25)
Today, I just checked.. I have a vagina. I guess my clitoris is just gigantic. I'm 26, my parents think I am a man. FML.

anonymous (2009-07-25 17:19:43)
MC (2009-07-22 12:53:07) i'm looking for a job... i can do sex with aunties if they pay me $50 per night --- It's a deal!! I have a post-op tranny "Auntie Ted" we call her, She's available on Saturdays. Bring some Astroglide.

My Little Pony (2009-07-25 17:15:21)
Hell yeah, I would have taken the job too. He wouldn't even have to pay me.

P (2009-07-25 12:03:08)
Had a nice laugh that drove away my headache:)

Rob (2009-07-25 11:04:20)
I would have taken the job.

Jack Johnson (2009-07-25 00:18:46)
Hilarious. Keep 'em coming man!

Rha (2009-07-24 18:37:13)
ROFL!!!

Grayson (2009-07-23 15:28:37)
I have read every single one of these things, this one is by far the greatest thing ever

dunk (2009-07-23 14:22:44)
I am banned for posting links to stupid websites

hotbabe (2009-07-23 02:20:57)
Dear guys, come here !! *******Cougar circle.com******** a place to date Sexy women and rich men will bring you fun and happiness ! If you are over 2 2 years old, you will have more chance to be the focus of others because of your Maturity !!!

john (2009-07-22 22:36:06)
I love horsemeat!I can serve it up at my diner.It's called "Hooves and Glue". It'll give your neighbor a break!

smt (2009-07-22 22:25:33)
fucking great site. get an RSS.

MC (2009-07-22 12:53:07)
i'm looking for a job... i can do sex with aunties if they pay me $50 per night

KobraCola (2009-07-21 01:32:39)
very funny site man, i just read through all of them, outright hilarious on most. props.

cum guzzling lauren (2009-07-20 22:37:00)
I just left the emergency room....That horse blew out my fallopian tube

admin (2009-07-20 22:24:16)
Please STFU about asking for more. There are only so many idiots that respond.

Dom (2009-07-20 20:36:59)
You sir, are nothing short of a God.

anonymous (2009-07-20 16:42:54)
wheres accidents happen that ones funny as hell

MaggieSucksDick (2009-07-20 15:51:22)
Would all off these fags whoring out their shitty websites please go get AIDS and die? Thanks.

Maggie (2009-07-20 15:48:00)
if i post that site one more time i will be banned

igor (2009-07-20 14:21:25)
Wheres the next post?

Pops (2009-07-20 14:07:59)
Why did you change the post fromthe original, where the girl was 17?

ralph (2009-07-20 13:37:49)
haha you cool man, you cool! keep it up

Jefferson (2009-07-20 13:28:17)
You could kill some time in the comment section of canigetaverdict2.com while you wait for the next post.

Mike Hunt (2009-07-20 12:55:12)
agreed, that makeitfiction site is about as funny as duncan

J (2009-07-20 10:50:50)
PLEASE post more - I need my daily fix of this stuff! Are you on vacation or something?

John (2009-07-20 09:16:39)
It's been almost a week... come on man, put up more!!! I need something to do at work!!!

makeitfiction'shit (2009-07-20 08:27:14)
That website is about as funny as tuberculosis.

confused (2009-07-20 01:16:16)
Duncan, I still don't get it. Can you explain it one more time?

Rutabaker (2009-07-20 00:35:28)
Hey Nomad, maybe you should contact him about helping him writing the book! You're clearly a great writer, so I'm sure he would be interested in hiring your skill-set..

resilient (2009-07-20 00:30:33)
omg, I couldn't stop laughing out loud... this is the best one yet!

KongKlas (2009-07-19 20:30:09)
Where do you get it from?? I LOVE IT! Awsome!

Police of fun (2009-07-19 18:41:20)
This is just to funny. Keep up the good work.

Peter (2009-07-19 14:05:49)
"You just have to stay calm and keep shooting." Superb.

@FrankGarrett (2009-07-19 10:40:55)
Fuck you, you stewpid cawk sucker!

Student de Derecha (2009-07-19 09:12:44)
Fucking.Hilarious!

nomad (2009-07-19 02:31:37)
If you keep these well archived, these have to potential to make a great book someday.

Danny (2009-07-18 19:21:02)
hahaha fucking awesome

Laurens mum (2009-07-18 17:47:57)
You guys are mean, please stop

Laura the bus driver (2009-07-18 17:05:05)
this sounds like a wonderful team-building project for the loser -- errr employees still left at the office. We can chop up the horses and make PIE!

anonymous (2009-07-18 15:41:58)
dontevenreply

jeffertonalive (2009-07-18 15:27:07)
good one

anonymous (2009-07-18 15:26:24)
Yeah, anon, I'm the year 1989. Fag.

anonymous (2009-07-18 15:13:50)
fag? what are you 1989?

anonymous (2009-07-18 14:19:59)
getting fucked in the ass by duncan is entertaining, but I really can't imagine moving to California and having a fag wedding with him. anyone agree?

fireinsp.pbcfr (2009-07-18 14:13:08)
True brilliance, as always

anonymous (2009-07-18 11:04:35)
these are entertaining, but i really cant imagine actually laughing outloud at any of them. anyone agree?

Didnot (2009-07-18 10:55:03)
This is insane, i was laughing so much that my girfriend belived i was going crazy ;)

RocketGurl (2009-07-18 10:22:47)
I stumbled on this website by accident. OMG...I haven't laughed so hard! Great stuff.

FrankGarrett (2009-07-18 10:10:04)
Hey Duncan, does your mother still have worms crawling out of her pussy?

BigMaCAttack (2009-07-18 06:25:05)
Absolutely the funniest shit I have ever seen on the internet.Dude you snapped those mothers.

Julie (2009-07-18 01:21:44)
I'm PISSED. I've been following this site for a while

Pat (2009-07-17 21:51:43)
You my friend are my idol...

Dave (2009-07-17 21:31:40)
Thanks. I'm going into convulsions and weeping with laughter and it's all your damn fault. Can I use some of these line?

Lauren (2009-07-17 18:15:27)
8========D ~~~~ () () belongs to me

Dunkin' (2009-07-17 16:53:41)
Hey guys, how do you like my hip new name?

mmmm... (2009-07-17 16:40:47)
...chewed steak fat vagina

Lauren's feedbag (2009-07-17 14:16:31)
I met Lauren once. She told me her favorite pastime ever was to lie on her back with her legs in the air, attach a feedbag to her ankles, and stuff it up her snatch, filled with carrots, sugar

From Belgium (2009-07-17 11:58:49)
thanks Mike(?), this is great stuff. I've spent an hour laughing my ass off. Keep up the good work !

Lauren. (2009-07-17 07:29:16)
....... k

lauren... take me (2009-07-17 07:28:01)
I want you lauren...... suck me 8======>. ....... I'm waiting

Lauren (2009-07-17 05:33:30)
This ISN'T funny guys. I've been a horse lover for my entire life and this email exchange really struck a chord with me. I understand

Jordan (2009-07-17 04:42:28)
You've really got a get an RSS feed for this thing. So good.

Lauren (2009-07-17 03:32:25)
I swallow horse cum for fun. 8===D~~~ :D

ScoobyLewdotCom (2009-07-17 00:24:47)
Dear Mike. You are an artiste'. McDonald's says that's even better than the regular old fashioned artist.

crockett (2009-07-16 23:35:46)
I fuc%%d all your mothers

fuck u fuck u lauren (2009-07-16 21:42:42)
at least lauren doesn't wear a bra.

Fuck u lauren (2009-07-16 21:40:03)
Lauren is worse than duncan... Or IS she duncan???

Leah Pikama (2009-07-16 20:30:22)
This is pure gold! Get some more!

Mikey (2009-07-16 19:47:07)
GREAT! Loved it.

LaurenSUCKS (2009-07-16 18:44:37)
Hey Lauren you dumb fuck, no shit horses aren't just slaughtered "for the hell of it", that's part of the joke.. Have you read half of the emails on this site? Get back in the kitchen and bake me a cake, you horse loving bitch.

The CC (2009-07-16 18:40:47)
Dude, this is truly one of the best sites I have ever seen. A friend sent me the link today. I had

Whatadumbgirl! (2009-07-16 18:37:37)
Lauren, you are fuckin DUMB! Really? Did you miss the joke by that much? Wow! I didn't think they made retards like you anymore!

anonymous (2009-07-16 17:06:52)
lauren you are the exact person that I was trying to offend with this. and it worked!

Zoltan (2009-07-16 17:05:46)
This was awesome. They are all amazing I check the site 10x dailey for new postings. For lauren who commented unde

hull (2009-07-16 17:03:38)
man, i really wish this place had a forum..it'd do soooooooo well!! amatuer section

Lauren (2009-07-16 16:45:43)
Not funny and a pretty dumb response. First off, nobody would slaughter horses and not sell them. Horses are slaughtered as a way

yourfuturestalker (2009-07-16 16:17:54)
Mike you are my hero

Andrew (2009-07-16 15:46:08)
If you like this, check out www.holladaddy.com Ridiculous stuff.

r (2009-07-16 14:44:16)
the age did change.. disappointing..

RSS (2009-07-16 14:24:20)
@John - someone already made a separate rss feed dontrss.x10hosting.com

Christina Bledsoe (2009-07-16 14:22:46)
That is hilarious!

idk (2009-07-16 11:55:10)
they are sounding more and more made up every time i read them. her first reply sounded fake.

TrainReq (2009-07-16 10:18:33)
I was thinking the exact same thing...maybe because harassing a 17 yr old is illegal? I'm not sure.

Michael (2009-07-16 10:10:25)
why did my comment get edited? The original posting said the girl was 17, not 18.

Omg is that an (2009-07-16 04:13:12)
erectile disfunction?.. yes, yes it is.

Jim (2009-07-16 04:02:55)
Yeah EB, I noticed the age change too. I guess it was just to prevent people judging "Mike" for messing with a minor. Also, accidents happen was more than likely removed for being in my opinion, bordering on offensive!

Gennie (2009-07-16 01:07:38)
Beautiful! I nearly asphyxiated with joy :D (One tiny note: I'm pretty sure that should be "complement" not "compliment".)

EB (2009-07-16 00:31:12)
Why'd the age change from 17 to 18??

Michael (2009-07-15 23:53:17)
I saw absolutely nothing. I just wanted to note it. Funny e-mails, btw. :O)

aaaaarg (2009-07-15 23:32:01)
i need a new one... i'm finning :/

winnie (2009-07-15 22:19:21)
I'm a horse and I find vegans hysterical.

Go away please (2009-07-15 21:46:22)
oh i get it, Duncan writes the same shit every time and thinks he funny

tommy tucker is... (2009-07-15 21:44:03)
...a "doosh" still

MoBeats (2009-07-15 20:59:07)
Is this Ted L. Nancy? If it is not, have you read his book? It's along the same lines, but old school. Best site I have found in a long time! Keep up the good work!!

Mike (2009-07-15 20:25:47)
Haha, horses are stupid.

Patrick (2009-07-15 20:10:20)
I'm a vegan, and I find this hysterical.

John (2009-07-15 19:58:39)
PLease add a RSS feed so I can go back to work and stop obsessively checking for new content every five minutes. It will take you two seconds.

eponymous (2009-07-15 16:59:46)
oh nooooooo!!!!

James Cunningham (2009-07-15 16:38:39)
I would have taken this job in a heartbeat. I even have my own shotgun. I've found that shooting them i

Sick bastard (2009-07-15 15:28:40)
Hilariously sick. That "You just have to stay calm and keep shooting" part got me.

Auggie (2009-07-15 14:20:18)
Great post. Seriousness so well maintained that I would have thought it was a real job.

AArn (2009-07-15 13:50:54)
multiple layers of comedy here... I lost it when we hit "clothes that the horse blood would compliment." you are very funny. thanks for this!

Turtlemama (2009-07-15 13:36:29)
Another classic, especially the instruction to wear clothes that horse blood would compliment. Thanks for the laugh!

Ryan (2009-07-15 12:58:35)
Hilarious. Just awesome.

Mitch (2009-07-15 12:56:45)
Tommy Tucker: Not "doosh"....it's D-O-U-C-H-E.

Testicles Testicles (2009-07-15 12:26:33)
Accidents Happen is still there guys and gays, it's in the Archive folder. Now sniff my pork sword.

Pleaseee (2009-07-15 11:17:33)
Bring Accidents Happen AGAIN!

Dave (2009-07-15 11:11:52)
What happened to "Accidents Happen"?!? Please put it back up.

Juan (2009-07-15 10:14:42)
REPOST 'ACCIDENTS HAPPEN' PLEASE!

Smoky McBandit (2009-07-15 09:42:34)
Ahhh, I see it now. Many apologies. Criticism retracted. Carry on sir.

anonymous (2009-07-15 09:26:38)
dude it is still on the site, its just towards the bottom of the emails. I just didnt think it was funny enough to be on the main page

Smoky McBandit (2009-07-15 09:21:22)
This wa

Schlomo (2009-07-15 09:13:34)
You are a bright, sparkly, beacon of humor and light in a fucked up and boring world. Carry on!

Testicles Testicles (2009-07-15 09:11:12)
A message of congratulations from jolly old England. Keep up the good work me'lad, your website was the only thing that kept me laughing as my father raped me night upon night. The shame.

reader (2009-07-15 08:49:21)
gotta leave the kids alone mike. other than that, awesome and I'll continue to read as you continue to write.

govtdrone (2009-07-15 08:06:23)
I love this site. I was reading all the old ones yesterday and my co-workers asked me if I was ok because I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud that they thought I was choking.

ineedabmwx5 (2009-07-15 07:08:37)
hahahaha, this one is really funny. I need more!!

Rabid (2009-07-15 06:21:07)
This is one of my favorites so far. Way to go Mike.

Tommy Tucker (2009-07-15 04:44:25)
If i could guess, this Duncan person is probably the same person that invented this website, d

johann richards (2009-07-15 04:26:36)
trust me itz hard to kill horses after u have sex with them

anonymous (2009-07-15 03:29:11)
"Yall are all sick fucks for finding this amusing." -Stephanie Is this the same Stephanie from Craigslist?

huibjcvfd (2009-07-15 03:04:40)
i love this site, but this one is not funny

Stephanie (2009-07-15 02:31:03)
I make love to horses, not murder.

Trevor (2009-07-15 00:44:38)
Just reading these just inspire me enough to go on craigslist and start screwing with people.

Stephanie (2009-07-14 23:58:02)
Yall are all sick fucks for finding this amusing.

BernardMadoffWith$$$ (2009-07-14 22:52:45)
Stephanie needs to reconsider. I began my career working on a farm in Queens, NY euthanizing horses, and it helped shape the man I am today. Signed, Bernie Madoff

Alex (2009-07-14 22:46:27)
This site is amazing!

[ZomgEpix] (2009-07-14 22:44:50)
Hehe.. good new one!. So when I press F5 on this site and see a n

Elmer's Glue Companu (2009-07-14 21:14:24)
do you still have those horses?

Stephanie (2009-07-14 21:08:29)
Hmmm, I changed my mind. I REALLY need to look cool driving a car, screw the horses. When can I start?

Brock (2009-07-14 20:41:42)
bloody brilliant

Mitch (2009-07-14 20:39:30)
OMG...I'm about to piss myself I'm laughing so hard, my daughter is worried that I'm going to have a stroke. This shit is HILARIOUS !!!

flowercorn (2009-07-14 20:36:14)
your stuff it a riot! YOU SHOULD BE CHARGING PEOPLE FOR THIS. maybe a book deal? I've got some contacts in publishing... hit me up. asskong@gmail.com

Mike (2009-07-14 20:04:50)
Is that 'the' Stephanie commenting there?...awesome..

Haha (2009-07-14 19:15:43)
Who's this "duncan" asshat?

Jesus Shuttlesworth (2009-07-14 19:07:18)
Nice... You need to post more though... Not enough material to satisfy my needs :)

Lueshi (2009-07-14 18:52:13)
Really good one here. :D

ha (2009-07-14 18:43:02)
that's hilarious!

choad (2009-07-14 17:52:13)
I'm gonna stop reading these at work so I can actually laugh as loud as these emails warrant.

d (2009-07-14 17:31:41)
Shut up robin, the missing ones got bumped further down the list so less would comment and tell him how much they suck. Still there though

Andy (2009-07-14 17:20:15)
the accidents happen one was great. it seems their have been a few lately that have been removed. i think one just got removed a few days ago, but i cant remember which one it was.

dazed & confused (2009-07-14 17:09:13)
Agreed with the comment before. Why did you have to be a pussy and take it off?

Confused... (2009-07-14 17:07:52)
This one's funny but where did the 'maternity clothes' one go???? very confused right now, my friend and I are a bit disappointed that you took it down...

jack (2009-07-14 17:03:49)
i think this job sounds awesome

Leo Dillon (2009-07-14 17:03:23)
Thought you were gonna go the beastialiy route with this one. Although I'd rather you not get arrested for asking a little girl to blow a horse for money.

ericsylte (2009-07-14 17:02:35)
you should of said you were making them into glue and if she ripped any of her clothing. you would use the glue to fix them. lol

Rutabaker (2009-07-14 16:44:46)
Hysterical

lecollye (2009-07-14 16:42:28)
This is just simply God's work. You are one for the ages.

p diddy (2009-07-14 16:35:17)
i don't know how you keep these so original! I love it! Keep 'em coming!

anonymous (2009-07-14 16:26:51)
Hahaha! Genius, man, genius.

Stephanie (2009-07-14 16:18:16)
You guys are all sick I can't believe you laugh at this!

Mark (2009-07-14 16:16:18)
This would be an awesome summer job!

spittingoutteeth (2009-07-14 16:08:06)
This is definitely my favorite DER yet; nice work!

mapguy (2009-07-14 16:04:23)
Also I think you should have paid 69 dollars an hr

anon (2009-07-14 16:02:19)
Love it. Keep up the good work.

mapguy (2009-07-14 15:58:47)
Another good one. However, you missed an opportunity to bring in high school cafeterias.

Aftee (2009-07-14 15:46:13)
"or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment" lmfao, you're a genius

HA! (2009-07-14 15:45:09)
Awesome

dungcan (2009-07-14 15:41:21)
Put "Accidents Happen" back up.

Ken (2009-07-14 15:38:09)
Ok, this one made up for taunting the expectant mother. "You just have to stay calm and keep shooting." Awesome.

JoeKabron (2009-07-14 15:31:27)
"The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake" -Fucking funny man!

d (2009-07-14 15:31:20)
Still hiring?

Redeemed (2009-07-14 15:29:43)
This one is GREAT... quality redemption after the catastrophe that was "Accidents Happen."

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This is a collection of e-mails I have sent to people who post classified ads. My goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off.

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