Operation: Soccer Escort
Posted at: 2009-08-07 09:03:54
Original ad:
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!
From Me to ************@comcast.net
Good afternoon.
My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.
If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.
Sincerely,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),
I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.
Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?
- Kate
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.
A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.
I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.
My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.
Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.
Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.
Let me know,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...
Are you just being sarcastic? What do you really drive? I want to pay 30 bucks a day, tops.
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
Safety/protection is no joke. For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus. I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball.
My security package is well worth the $200 per trip. We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field.
Please reconsider my offer. You can't put a price on your daughter's safety.
From Kate ******** to Me
Stop wasting my time. Don't e-mail me again.
(later, from another e-mail account)
From Nick Walken to Kate **********
Dear Kate,
I am an old client of Mike Partlow. He told me that you wanted a reference for a job you are considering him for. Let me start off by saying, you could not have made a finer choice. Mike is the best there is. He literally saved my life countless times in Iraq. Whatever you are using him for, you have made the right choice. You will be 100% safe.
When I think about my experience Mike, one time stands above the rest. Back in 2005, I was a contractor in Iraq and had hired Mike's security detail to escort me through Fallujah. Everything was going fine until our convoy was hit by an IED. I don't remember much, but next thing you know, I woke up in a Republican Guard prisoner camp with Mike. I thought we were goners. They took me and Mike into a hut, where there were at least eight armed soldiers placing bets. They were going to make Mike and I play Russian Roulette. Mike convinced a soldier to let him play with three bullets, instead of one, which I thought was crazy. Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the other five soldiers. I didn't think we would make it out of that one alive, but thanks to Mike's heroic actions, I am here today.
You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations.
If you have any more questions about Mike, please don't hesitate to contact me. I owe the man my life.
Nick
From Kate ******** to Me
what in the hell...
Comments:
Rohini Bhattacharya (2024-11-06 16:52:59)
Dear Admin,
I hope this message finds you well. My name is Rohini, and I am a skilled content writer with experience in creating engaging, SEO-optimized content tailored to the unique needs of each client. I am a creative person, and I specialize in Tr
Casimira Ricketson (2024-11-01 03:02:53)
He, are you looking for professionally designed spreadsheet templates ?
Since 2003, Vertex42® has been a trusted source for professionally designed spreadsheet templates,
Ideal for business, personal, and educational needs.
Specializing in Micro
Lachlan Stella (2024-10-01 11:52:41)
Expand Your Business with Our B2B Services
Dear,
We offer a comprehensive range of B2B services tailored to help your business grow.
From affiliate marketing and venue/event promotion to providing indoor-outdoor entertainment for travel companie
Suzette Goodfellow (2024-09-28 18:38:26)
Exclusive B2B Lead Generation Services at Competitive Prices
Dear,
I hope this message finds you well.
We specialize in offering exclusive B2B lead generation services tailored to help businesses like yours thrive.
With our strategic approach,
Lieselotte Schwab (2024-09-23 01:34:53)
Hostinger: Hosting, As It Should Be
Experience web hosting at its best with Hostinger.
Fast, secure, and reliable, it provides everything you need to bring your ideas to life online.
From hosting your website to securely storing files and data, man
Doug Clem (2024-09-21 01:25:06)
Experience Unmatched Hosting, Support and Solutions – Contact Us Today!
JaguarPC offers top-tier web hosting services, including cloud hosting, backup solutions, and server management.
With 24/7 support, free migrations, and a 30-day money-back gua
Lynette Mcclung (2024-08-29 13:46:34)
Connect with Global Businesses - Affordable B2B Services
Dear,
Are you looking to expand your business network worldwide?
Vista Solutions specializes in connecting businesses across any industry and location.
Our professional B2B services are af
Pantu Mondal (2024-08-24 06:23:33)
Hello Admin,
I am selling something you or your company might be interested.
I am selling LinkedIn Premium for the cheapest price. if you require LinkedIn business or career premium reply to me on This email
For reference, the 6-month LinkedIn b
fgh (2017-06-10 20:17:30)
dfgh
Annunci Subito.it (2017-05-26 16:54:25)
Annunci Subito.it
Annunci Gratuiti Subito.it per comprare e vendere usato come auto, moto e scooter ed altri veicoli usati, migliaia di offerte di lavoro in tutta italia.
Tutta Italia vendita o affitto case, annunci auto e moto usate, offerte lavoro e
farmacia cialis (2017-05-22 14:56:47)
Biljni rx farmacia italia alla consegna farmaci prezzo levitra cialis disfunzione 40 nuovi mg erettile
cialis prezzo in farmacia
levitra prezzo in farmacia
viagra prezzo in farmacia
prezzo in farmacia comprare vardenafil
vendita cialis generico
subito.it (2017-05-05 09:54:09)
Annunci Gratuiti Subito.it per comprare e vendere usato come auto, moto e scooter ed altri veicoli usati, migliaia di offerte di lavoro in tutta italia.
Tutta Italia vendita o affitto case, annunci auto e moto usate, offerte lavoro e molto altro. Inseri
subito.it (2017-05-02 04:34:26)
Annunci Gratuiti Subito.it per comprare e vendere usato come auto, moto e scooter ed altri veicoli usati, migliaia di offerte di lavoro in tutta italia.
Tutta Italia vendita o affitto case, annunci auto e moto usate, offerte lavoro e molto altro. Inseri
farmacia cialis (2017-04-29 09:15:58)
Levitra rx farmacia italia sicura cialis erettile disfunzione interazioni magi problema
rx farmacia cialis (2017-04-24 14:07:03)
Prezzo informazione rx farmacia italia sicura erettile cialis disfunzione levitra finasteride
mg pharmacy rx cialis (2017-04-07 07:31:44)
Pharmacy vardenafil mg tadalafil prescription levitra and canada we accept visa / mastercard rx no
farmacia cialis (2017-04-07 06:02:05)
Alcool news rx farmacia italia alla consegna disfunzione vardenafil erettile farmacia cialis controindicazioni
farmacia viagra (2017-03-28 12:08:00)
Disfunzione levitra acquistare cuore a cialis rx farmacia italia sicura erettile improvvisa e roma
avattixSityfish70 (2017-03-11 22:59:32) <p>In the event you notice that your boy or girl avoids trying new important things, and has markedly reduced confidence when he fails in order to satisfy a goal, he may have an exaggerated anxiety about failure which is affecting his standard of li
avattixSityfish81 (2017-03-07 19:58:57) <p>Email a holistic nutritionist to put together healthy meal plans and even dietary guidelines.The outcome is, the more the sellers the actual the earnings.How one can Enjoy Printing Brochures For Marketing by Kaye Z.Surface feeders are flat and ev
farmaciaiRer (2017-03-04 16:01:13)
Cialis in controindicazioni aumento erettile disfunzione levitra ipertensione mg prezzo miglior rx farmacia italia sicura
comprare levitra (2017-03-01 11:21:50)
Moderna prostatica cialis vardenafil rx farmacia italia alla consegna erettile dolore disfunzione ipertrofia da donna
healthcare website (2017-02-27 17:52:43)
Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your webpage? My website is in the exact same area of interest as yours and my users would certainly benefit from some of the information you provide here. Please l
avattixSityfish85 (2017-02-25 23:40:56) <p>Another great advantage of masturbating is that it gets you in touch with what arouses you.And even, speaking of everything, you could find how it was invented into my notes, too, or, at least, the highlights, like stretch of land and water, air,
avattixSityfish73 (2017-02-24 17:08:22) <p>Narcotic and Alcohol Course The particular class that teens must take when getting their driver? s licenses may well be known as a substance and alcohol course or possibly a Joshua? s Law tutorial.There is also a lot that children, as well as adu
avattixSityfish15 (2017-02-19 05:25:17) <p>These pretty Filipinas usually are not only beautiful Filipina gals, but are also a real delight to be around you because the famous Filipina disposition along with personality, which is to be really sweet, cheerful not to mention thoughtful.Get
avattixSityfish24 (2017-02-17 21:08:03) <p>Still realizing this, is just step one, then the second step becomes some harder.And listed below are 3 tips for aiding you maintain a high a better standard of personal productivity when working alone with no support of others as an internet ent
avattixSityfish03 (2017-02-16 16:03:23) <p>? The only one who seems to wait for the prospect of 1 / 3 term by Mr.There can be 22 different cards one could use with everything from cards for a husband or your very best mate? s birthday to amazing invites to make certain your party is the b
Maritza (2017-02-13 01:34:54)
are not a gyp; yes, you should try purchase some jewelery you variety astir yourself.
commemorate, you can use with your juicing endeavors.
When component juices, you should add cranberries into your housing.
Add asking and gustation. For pasta that
Larhonda (2017-02-12 22:43:08)
and on a physiological memory. square away predictable you use fingertips or else
of lease small-scale imperfections spotlight at the Sami natural event as you.
If a customer had to use the internet creation for businesses to get discounts on policies.
Nuapydrarelay (2017-02-10 19:05:24)
Trainers have been around for longer than you might suppose -- way back to the late 18th century people have been wearing plimsolls, regardless that the early variations had no left or right foot! However it wasn't till the early 20th century that sne
Choifeedumouh (2017-02-10 19:05:23)
Typically an bizarre buyer has to sacrifice her love for a brand as a result of it's too expesive. But every e-retail retailer gives temptingly generous discount on all branded sandals in UAE. You can take your time to check the merchandise and make a
BewKixBinia (2017-02-10 16:41:20)
The Flat Though flats look higher on a longer leaner leg, petite women, dont be dismayed, you'll be able to nonetheless put on these however go for a pointed toe fairly than a spherical stumpy one, until you've got humongous feet. Those that can
NOTBORNEGISEE (2017-02-10 10:13:48)
Solely a decade or so in the past, it could have been unimaginable that pairing a trainer with a go well with may both look good or be accepted by the traditionalists. The cause has been helped, nevertheless, because of designers growing a extra refined s
Aidectaiderge (2017-02-10 10:13:46)
Trainers have been around for longer than you might think -- way back to the late 18th century folks were sporting plimsolls, even though the early variations had no left or proper foot! But it wasn't till the early 20th century that sneakers really t
Jelena (2017-01-10 15:32:52)
telugu mp3 album - myfreemp3.review/search/telugu-mp3-album/
download free music
Syreeta (2017-01-07 06:42:00)
I like reading through a post that can make people think. Also,
thanks for permitting me to comment! latahza
ChumehedA (2016-07-06 00:23:57)
Not to mention, the packaging is precious to boot. Dare I say it's more of a collector's item than a glass slipper?MAC takes pride in its provision of periodic intensive practicing its staff inside a fun and comfy atmosphere.The popularity is incr
ChumehedA (2016-07-06 00:09:42)
3. Cyber Monday promo products are less inclined to go out.and a number of cosmetic items that suits the requirements of all skin tones.Hardy train cases are not exclusively available to professional makeup artists and are particularly ideal for cosmetics
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 22:48:59)
Throughout divorce, Brittny resided together with her grandma and grandpa in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.During Britain's Victorian Age, women shunned blush and preferred to pinch their cheeks and bite their lips frequently to make them appear red.Many browse
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 22:38:56)
Now, so far as your right color goes, you'll have to physically visit a store and appear around.I used my logic and my senses. I didnt want any crazy colours in the collection, and I wanted it to be practical and to suit every skin tone.Furthermor
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 21:11:43)
Cream foundation offers excellent coverage that is milky and flawless. Cream foundations come in a compact or stick. They are convenient and quick to apply in makeup fashion.This is done to emphasize your cheekbones and its effect is to make you look youn
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 19:30:43)
Consists of specifically treated micronized pigments and soft-focus powders for any super-smooth look that effectively help minimize the look of flaws.Since this technique uses tattoos, a cosmetic technician can produce designs that resemble regular makeu
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 18:49:55)
MAC has some of the most fashionable items in the market.You will get your chosen nail polish colour at least expensive possible cost from Wonderland Cosmetics.If for instance, you have dark circles, choose a product formulated for areas around the eyes.
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 18:24:57)
MAC makeup is known for its innovative formulas, extensive color palette, professional results and of course the company's dedication to social causes.It ought to be pointed out that that way of trying to find advertisements decreases on the quantity
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 18:22:20)
Now you can smile with a light heart as your blush blends in easily and makes you look radiant and fresh.Don't Us dot! Concealer is perfect for covering and 'patting', but foundation is perfect for creating light coverage.I am inclined to make
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 14:38:45)
Other items are a Powder Blush in Linda (soft pink bronze), Prep + Prime Powder and Pink Rebel Lustre Drops.Tip: whenever you apply eye lining pay for it having a thin layer of powder, it will not change the feel of the lining by much and it'll remain
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 14:01:55)
The Chi Iron is presently available available at JCPenny, Target and Wal-Mart.finish off the relaxation of the make-up, being especially careful with eye liner/eye make-up, and viola! Another non-bruised you!the best on their own parts to make sure that r
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 14:01:48)
Bringing to the beauty scene some of the trendiest autumnal pigments, this makeup set features 4 stackable jars of rich metallic pink and purple tone pigments,After graduation senior high school, she came back to Tuscaloosa to go to the College of Alabama
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 02:47:18)
MAC has created a full line of makeup that will play tribute to the wild cast of characters in the cult film and play.Her world's 5 best antioxidant-creating "miracle fruitsInch concentrated in a single bottle: Pomegranate, The exotic goji,The onl
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 02:21:45)
Look for a guarantee that states that the online cosmetics can be returned for such reasons.If you're not satisfied, you shouldn't have trouble coming back the product to have an even exchange.Make use of a foundation shade and tone that's a p
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 01:06:57)
Therefore, token began to build up a variety of colors, textures and tools aren't the same as other brands, appropriate for stage,You'll need a large powder brush or fluffy powder puff with this part.Additionally, the make-up artists will highligh
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 00:51:01)
It just about all comes lower towards the research. Once the large day comes around,Request a personal audience with the manager to go through your portfolio and enquire how soon you would be able to be interviewed for a position.You can be as creative an
ChumehedA (2016-07-04 19:27:30)
Your lips feel moisturized but you don't experience a waxy, heavy feel that most lipsticks have.Acai Berries, the same berry that The famous host oprah has flown in from South america, Noni, and Mangosteen.with physical stores offering substantial dis
ChumehedA (2016-07-04 19:25:04)
That brush remained beside me, travelled the planet and done a high profile or two for more than twenty five years, since i cared for it.There's additionally a liquid to powder foundation that may also help this type of skin.For me personally you will
ChumehedA (2016-07-04 14:54:14)
Nearly all women with uneven skin color choose a medium colored foundation.Since these people were going to brick-and-mortar institutions instead of buying products online,And Thus, what kind of make-up does MAC offer? Well, to start with, the corporation
ChumehedA (2016-07-04 14:45:24)
I've used one mascara bottom and top since i have first started to test out constitute like a teen,It is better to change one's Cosmetics after six months of their purchase. Timely updating of the stock keeps the used cosmetic fresh. This helps to
ChumehedA (2016-07-03 07:52:30)
This is a reference with each and every condition cosmetology board listed.Now, combine it with the spoon and make certain that you will find no protuberances.Right prep done, now apply eye shadow primer because we are using lots of make-up here so we don
ChumehedA (2016-07-02 14:59:59)
Its not necessary a great deal, heaping around the powder can create that cakey/flakey effect as well as worsen facial lines once the powder forms into them.Mac Disk Utility is undoubtedly a useful tool, but in some versions of Mac OS X, it can not functi
ChumehedA (2016-06-29 02:43:18)
A tube of the costs '11 ($10 in america), but I'm planning on continue for a complete year since It's only put on some lashes.But unless of course your vision are extremely sensitive (or you're wealthy!), you may balk at investing a lot ca
ChumehedA (2016-06-29 02:19:59)
Use eye shadows of very bright colors (electric blue was a favorite of the era, actually!), and do not just hint at them, go the whole way and paint your eyelids with it.Note that certain bottle goes a lengthy way and I've been utilizing the same one
ChumehedA (2016-06-29 02:11:01)
It is a civil-privileges factor, is not it?" Kitt notoriously made an appearance at many GLBT fundraising,Much has transformed lately there's been a pure mineral makeup revolution.but there has been great reviews relating to this specific foundati
ChumehedA (2016-06-27 10:18:23)
Hence, selecting the best type and shade of cosmetics is important for the greatest results.Is available in a color that highlights and complements my colouring.Oily mainly round the nostrils, nose, temples, temple and face.It'll make the face slightl
ChumehedA (2016-06-25 14:56:21)
the very first is to visit and obtain newspapers around the Wednesday before Black Friday, the second reason is to locate ad-scans on the web.Makeup Art Cosmetics, better known under the label MAC Cosmetics is a brand founded in 1984 by Frank Angelo and F
ChumehedA (2016-06-25 03:59:00)
You might be dry around your cheekbones, but oily in your nose, temple or perhaps beneath your eyes.This is actually the second foundation I own from M-A-C, and that i like it! I personally use it when taking photos! It provides an all natural matte finis
ChumehedA (2016-06-24 03:41:26)
She'll work very well using the growth of MAC Cosmetics the label grows its activities within the demand and also the growing recognition of Canadian label.which sells for $140 plus tax and shipping, can "take the butt back to highschool fine,"
Jani (2016-06-23 11:43:10)
I believe everything said was very reasonable. However, what
about this? suppose you added a little information? I ain't saying your contnt isn't solid., but suppose
you added something to possibly get a person's attention? I mean E-mails
ChumehedA (2016-06-18 02:12:42)
In truth, making your face look its very best is not dependent on blush alone, but on how each makeup blends with each other.Let us get began on selecting your favourite M-A-C Foundation first! Did everyone know, that selecting the best foundation begins
ChumehedA (2016-06-18 00:40:19)
To this end, researchers are creating unique color schemes to capture the best possible light and erase defects.and leaders of MAC Cosmetics made the decision to popularize the items to ensure that everybody can purchase.then it is time for you to take a
ChumehedA (2016-06-17 11:59:54)
a shimmery lipglass named Happily Ever After and a Stroke of Midnight eyeshadow pallete.Such occasions of the season, they frequently have a tendency to sell their items in a reduced value.soft foundation brush since it provides a perfect finish w
ChumehedA (2016-06-17 09:43:41)
Even though once you've been hired the company would send you to more intensive training by professionals in the business, it is hardly likely that it would hire you if you have less than moderate skills.so wipe the lipstick color pink lips held from
ChumehedA (2016-06-16 06:43:28)
Cream foundations are so versatile that they can be used as a corrector. With a high moisture content, the cream foundation is a perfect choice for dry skin.Precisely what day exactly may be the real Cyber Monday? Could it be the Monday following Thanksgi
ChumehedA (2016-06-13 23:19:38)
Here's what you can find:Fortunately, the collections are for sale to everyone nowadays, and also the elevated profile has managed to get much more desirable.it consists of mineral complex which soaks up oil! How perfect is the fact that right? Soaks
Andy (2016-06-03 09:32:41)
What is Brexit if Britain left the EU and what would happen?IF
the people of Britain vote for Brexit, it will not only be a historic success for
Eurosceptics but it's going to transform this nation forever.
But what would occur? - https://www.
Michaelzex (2015-12-09 17:27:49)
10 finest Free iPhone 3G resources
do you miraculous who cares a zipcode for a clear position appears to be? good now you can that information when you need it. takes into account strategies for a nice selection of areas.
eyesight the necessary onli
ChumehedA (2015-12-05 20:21:20)
Cosmetics are required to provide a complete turn to a person's face.Look for a digital photographer, a stylist and a variety of models to provide an expert portfolio.Your portfolio will probably be the keystone for your application to MAC cosmetics a
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 12:48:45)
So, do you want permission to become a makeup artist? I have come up with this lens to reply to exactly that.which sells for $140 plus tax and shipping, can "take the butt back to highschool fine," the guy on stage introduced.Personally, i have at
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 11:40:30)
Lipsticks to fundamentals through the facial or even the colors of nail polish, MAC professional cosmetic is adapting its selection of colors,Many browsers may also show a lock icon to show you that your private data is sent safely.MAC Studio Fix Fluid ar
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 10:55:55)
Look for a digital photographer, a stylist and a variety of models to provide an expert portfolio.Again, apply in the center third from the face - the edges from the nose and center of the temple and face - sweep the sponge outwards towards the sides from
Tia (2015-11-26 16:36:57)
บริษัทที่อยู่จัดหามารับสารภาพ mp3 พกพา งานรินดูดซับลงเคลื่อนที่ที่เมืองใหญ่บรัสเซลส์ครอบค
ChumehedA (2015-11-23 10:01:37)
Numerous online retailers offer reduced prices for their clients that make an order on Cyber Monday.the infiltration of your skin care items, oil items can help to eliminate the utilization.Makeup Art Cosmetics, also known underneath the label MAC Cosmeti
ChumehedA (2015-11-23 09:03:39)
I did not possess a foundation brush for any very long time, and honestly, Irrrve never gave it much thought untilYou will find various indexes you could utilize to watch the crisis - foreign exchange, debt, stock market, rates of interest -(2) slightly a
MaikelQ (2015-11-23 07:54:17)
Now i do not care about this. I am working online i quit my regular job, and make average $4800/month. How? Search in google for: Ruthiezxs method
ChumehedA (2015-11-22 05:13:46)
Blend along the way, while using flat pads of the fingers, and whenever possible sweep one way - outwards towards the sides from the face.However, you will find certain cosmetics that expire inside a couple of short several weeks and certain cosmetics tha
ChumehedA (2015-11-22 03:42:56)
MAC colors bold and innovative, to overturn the standard style, which uphold, however,Make use of a sponge with some water to push even Crme, its benefits would be to strengthen the hold & effect, and feel from the awesome within the summer time, very com
ChumehedA (2015-11-21 05:56:19)
MAC Studio Fix Fluid is ideal for acne-prone skin and oil manage it really soaks up and disperses oil and it is itself oil-free!Then obtain a translucent powder or setting powder which fits your foundation."What exactly is it About MAC Cosmetics Which
ChumehedA (2015-11-16 19:14:19)
It's a significantly more compact tube than the usual regular mascara, and also the brush is extremely small.Then, as shopping online grew to become popular, Cyber Monday came into being because the day when online merchants would supply lotsSo, do yo
ChumehedA (2015-11-14 19:36:04)
The Ardyss Re-shaping line was created by an memory foam surgeon, so that they have tremendous health advantages, too.We went with two sedans and returned with two sedans full of items plus another sedan's worth associated with the rooftop.You will ge
ChumehedA (2015-11-14 19:18:23)
After exfoliating and taking advantage of an oil-free face clean, you need to use a primer before using foundation, to be able to smooth your skin & help makeup bond towards the skin.She was among the in-demand models in her own initial modeling career.Wi
ChumehedA (2015-11-14 18:55:34)
Despite the fact that once you have been hired the organization would give back to more intensive training by professionals in the industry,(Kitt McDonald married Charles Lawrence Shapiro later[17] coupled with two children, Jason and Rachel Shapiro.To ev
ChumehedA (2015-11-14 18:20:29)
The benefits of utilizing a powder eye shadow are that they'll set the coverstick (which could get quite sticky) and also you won't be required to set them again with translucent powder.While using the face powder, it's advised that they must
DarrellMi (2015-11-14 05:08:21)
safest fighting flicks in them all
an excellent martial artisan does not to get tensed however,though well prepared, possibly not viewing yet daydreaming, primed regarding regardless of which may come. fighting methods depart much past the physical pla
ChumehedA (2015-11-08 10:00:51)
Our prime power of silicone gel within the product may also clog pores and result in outbreaks.The lashes can also be found at Mac Cosmetics, whose application in your body will make you look more youthful than your actual age.Right now we're tied to
GeVox (2015-10-29 11:51:07)
精准医疗又叫个性化医疗，是指以个人基因组信息为基础，结合蛋白质组
DonaldCace (2015-10-18 13:30:02)
A native of Argentina, Bol Brazil, Paraguay and Uruguay. There are also prizes for the 'Best of the Year' 2009, elected by the magazine Wine Essence Wine.. I've seen That type of seating material combo in more expensive GM cars V Series Cadi
Vivan89 (2015-09-16 02:54:28)
You have no time for a acquaintance as a result of your businees take all your free time, however you want to talk and pamper your self by women accompaniment! Just ask our specialists in escort bayan Istanbul service. After your appointment will organ
Robertger (2015-09-13 20:48:12)
This very thing. we have to police the free will. let us return to military rule. chavez, perhaps? you are comparing to the bank and take a loan, buy a house, a car, with a murder !!! and go the bakery? and buy a remedy? who decides the limit? you? the
Trisha87 (2015-08-30 16:02:20)
Clients who resort to search for call women are searching for an extra attention, one thing totally different from what they already know or have had earlier than. Many desire to fulfill engaging attractive girls who would at the very least make their
Carlos (2015-08-15 23:25:38)
This was probably the funniest thing I have ever read. Thank you so much!!!
ChumehedA (2015-08-14 13:31:43)
Novemberand December, perfectly timed to coincide with the completion of students first markingperiod and parentteacher conferences.Cover girl Cosmetics - Cover girl cosmetics is a complete makeup collection for the face, eyes and lips.so why not unite al
ChumehedA (2015-08-13 14:31:06)
But it's a tough choice: do you ignore him, hoping he'll go away (the way we do with many existing systemic problems, and which never works),that will make your skin glow radiantly without constantly putting on makeup. In addition,but be sure to t
ChumehedA (2015-08-12 14:50:28)
It is the Monday after Thanksgiving Day, a special sale day created by companies to encourage people to do their holiday shopping online.this individual safe it much more a bartender and only agreed to be likely going to delete it offers quite a bit conta
ChumehedA (2015-08-11 12:10:52)
Thanks to trusted optical shops on the web, finding the excellent set of Ray-Bans no longer signifies suffering from bad weather and traffic.Once the mine ban what are clearly marked, they should be ruthlessly protected, because they have the potential to
ChumehedA (2015-08-10 10:10:33)
A mí me ha maquillado en varias ocasiones y lo que más admiro de ella además de su talento,MAC cosmetics are a line of make-up merchandise about which a lot of men and women could not be acquainted.higher-speed Internet access or, as we speculated last
ChumehedA (2015-08-10 10:08:21)
a single is never at a loss for help in their assortment.Black Friday is a goldmine for eBay resellers. On one single day there are more profitable items for sale than during the entire rest of the year.find themselves may or may not be ableto make the mo
ChumehedA (2015-08-10 09:21:19)
(from destroying the Good Morning America green room or being charged with assault, I guess?),Wasn't it Lauren Bacall who first wore them in film? Maybe not but everyone remembers at least one old B&W film starCosmetic companies usually ask for your e
ChumehedA (2015-08-04 13:50:48)
Introduction image enlargedThe top red lipsticks I choose from my MAC Lipstick collection are:Swatchessheer red leopard-print tights, high-cut briefs and six-inch heels.In addition to being incredibly easy and convenient, you can score some good deals wit
ChumehedA (2015-07-26 23:47:41)
with their line of fashion pants, which are always right on trend.Unlike most stars, Lala wears her line on a pretty consistent basis so chances are you've seen her with it on.With it's B15 XLT Lens and Polarized Lens the sunglass will automatical
ChumehedA (2015-07-25 16:35:21)
17-Åriga hade försökt att rapportera brott men lokala polisen inte registrera fallet för två veckor.Remember, every woman deserves to have a little sparkle in her life.There are several advantages to these vouchers that you won't find using Black
ChumehedA (2015-07-23 23:56:23)
By 1975 Black Friday had spread to many other locations and grew to focus its application more on the great sales opening the holiday shopping season.If you see a lot of popping pink blush, blend it softly over bronzer to show that you're trendy and s
pozdrawleniyaPi (2015-07-02 23:25:22)
, , , - . ,
RusselNura (2015-06-23 17:57:21)
Welcome to Istanbul Escort. We're an upscale escort agency that caters to the adventurous spirit. Are you searching for discreet companionship and leisure? You've come to the proper place. We're right here to show your fantasies into reality.
HjZVWyvdrS (2015-05-19 00:30:40)
Blizzard is your production school in addition to author the builder of warcraft, Choosing Diablo and consequently StarCraft businesses. Blizzard redirects his or her services produces business earnings across the world with range signifies, Counting: Sub
ChumehedA (2015-05-13 07:57:38)
They may also have a wide range of housing a variety of bright colors, orange, yellow, about the traditional dark and white.If you are thinking about buying them at your town's fashion boutique or a department store,You can become a proud people have
emuparadiseGax (2015-03-27 04:07:06)
EmuParadise : , , , , . , ,
MichaelSa (2015-03-15 19:44:36)
Selected sites . We offer all the hot news from Russia and advanced analytics experts. All evil on this planet happens to quiet consent indifferent . No one is stimulating. We - the people. We are building a civil society. The bearer of sovereignty and th
Michaelpox (2015-03-13 15:56:37)
Hello. And Bye.
Massena (2015-01-30 13:48:51)
Point de vue tr?s int?ressant! ;)
Julesburg (2015-01-23 06:06:05)
i just love the show ! more can i not say! .it just started a week a go here in belgium and i love it! i hope it?s gonna work out between lucas and peyton , nathan and haley!! one tree hill is one of the best shows that i ever watched! i used to watch the
Tim (2014-06-04 13:56:11)
:D awesome just awesome
The Dude! (2013-12-17 13:34:44)
The "Reindeer games" reference is hilarious... LOL
GERMANS GUZZLE CUM! (2013-12-11 17:14:57)
Who invited these filthy Nazis below?
J (2013-11-23 09:50:47)
Hilarious. I love reading stories like this. The email by "Nick Walken" sounds familiar as a storyline. I think the last episode of the British season of Strike Back had a scene just like it back in 2010.
Tiffany (2013-10-03 19:11:35)
Hahahahahahah omg hilarious
mexton (2013-07-25 17:14:09)
haha fuckin exton women and their soccer kids
Chris (2013-07-25 16:42:57)
The best one ever! I was crying with laughter!
Alex (2013-07-19 12:34:28)
Absolutely classic mate hahaha, nice one
JH108 (2013-06-30 10:41:41)
How many of you picked up the Deer Hunter reference?
Oh My god (2013-06-15 18:14:20)
This is the best one you have ever done.
escort laval (2013-06-11 16:21:35)
Jesus Christ there is lots of spammy comments on this page. Have you actually believed about attempting to get rid of them or installing a plugin?
zfakqbfnx (2013-06-04 23:13:22)
华人早就成为了许多赌场的支柱，他们活跃在每一个赌场，在每一个赌
ZeseToubWourb (2013-05-29 21:11:24)
Putting the cost of repairs, or a new washing machine, on a credit card can result in months of increased interest fees. You really aren't conserving any money. Apart from this in case of taking the cash, a loved one should have to keep recent updated
Tadashi (2013-05-26 02:33:10)
I want this car.
Cazenove93 (2013-05-24 00:58:45)
For a lonely man an escort could be the solution to a fun filled and a charming evening. Are you in search of companionship? There was a time when people used to regard the escort services with cynicism and negativity. It was looked down upon as a tabo
escrt girl (2013-05-03 02:52:13)
Merci pour ce d?tachement, il a ?t? tr?s utile et a dit beaucoup
Paris escorts (2013-05-03 02:52:12)
There is noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made sure good points in options also.
excort (2013-05-03 02:52:11)
How do you do? I simply love your wonderful site thank you and please carry on
annuaire escorte (2013-05-03 02:52:11)
Well consider a look at a few of the many male enhancement products that are generally out on the market?.
yay (2013-04-10 17:11:07)
I haven't read that scene from the deer hunter in this way before. Bravo!
ZeseToubWourb (2013-04-05 12:53:24)
Real money advance Payday Loans comes with advantages. This will mean you can pretty much resolve your financial emergency in the same day. All these good advices are helpless for the working poor or for people who have lost their real job and need to car
buy anabolics online (2013-03-21 23:33:27)
At last the truth!
buy anabolics steroids online (2013-03-21 23:33:24)
Thank you for another wonderful article. Where else could anyone get that kind of info in such a perfect way of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I am on the look for such info.
buy anabolics online (2013-03-21 23:33:24)
J?adore Lucas et Nathan. Il s sont trop beaux!!!
sbreakIsi (2013-03-21 02:09:30)
the top Commercial Real estate property Solutions Expert in the United Kingdom
LOS ANGELES Chicago (t l metropolis (2001 put. Three,425,398), chair regarding Los Angeles company., Azines Calif.; incorporated. 1850. -- Clickbank Richard Ellis Db Richard E
ZenteeBaift (2013-03-17 21:41:31)
towards kid style, Lauren connected with Whitney, A many other internee plus the two started to be very good. Lauren split up with your ex-girlfriend quite-interval boyfriend, outdated some individuals but went down fantastic. Heidi also separated colle
bdhCRdsr (2013-03-01 04:41:44)
This particular Well-defined Electronic devices XEA406 Check out is an excellent choice for small businesses. Characteristics include two-line user and also single-line consumer show, that allows your owner and also consumer easy watching involving revenu
mihalis (2013-02-15 18:53:50)
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Tyler (2013-02-09 21:34:24)
LOLOLOLOL
Caleb (2013-02-02 17:24:28)
HAhahahha
KB (2013-01-31 17:08:21)
Please make this your full time job.
I think I love you.
jane doe (2013-01-28 17:54:41)
"I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice." ROFLMAO
seo marketing (2013-01-24 12:56:24)
Puis-je le droit d'auteur 20 pages de vieux articles de journaux?
Kiran (2013-01-15 08:27:49)
awesome one
Garlic Head (2012-12-26 14:58:20)
OUTSTANDING!!!
San (2012-12-23 00:22:52)
The fork LOL
petiesrevenge (2012-12-08 11:37:16)
Eat pish and die
Dat Nigga Stew Stew (2012-11-15 10:17:32)
Dis shit be racist yo
khggjfgj (2012-11-14 00:07:31)
plot from the DeerHunter
sensible sam (2012-11-03 17:09:25)
What a load of fucking pish! How can this be considered humour? It's dire.
klip (2012-11-01 00:10:01)
Holy shit I have not laughed this hard in a longtime great stuff
anonymous (2012-10-28 10:30:53)
Holy fuck, this is the best one yet.
Hem_Hem (2012-10-16 17:26:10)
Jesus man, gotta stop reading these at work, can't stop laughing out loud.....hard to stifle the noise.
Bob Chippens (2012-10-13 10:50:27)
Literally crying with laughter, sore chest, had to stop reading three times, woke up my girlfriend. Genius.
Tavis (2012-10-13 02:33:19)
The best articles are the one's that you can see what's going on but still get surprised, when he put the three bullets in and took out the insurgents I fucking cried laughing.
James (2012-10-09 19:46:30)
crying
omg (2012-09-11 15:16:44)
@'Read The Fie Print' and other idiots who "did the math" there is no such thing as payed under an hour. Fucking retards.
Read The Fie Print (2012-09-08 01:44:05)
He said the ride would take 20 minutes. With $125 an hour, that's about 41 dollars a day, not far from the $30 a day offered by the woman.
@Oscar (2012-08-15 01:06:38)
Actually, it's from the movie The Deer Hunter.
You should watch it; it's really good.
lellen (2012-08-09 21:25:46)
HAHAHAH SO GREAT im crying of laughter
anonymous (2012-07-21 18:04:36)
And this my friends is how children get raped by pedophiles.
deputy98 (2012-07-21 10:35:39)
LoL, I already guessed that Mike will said about a war realated vehicle.
Keller (2012-07-21 02:44:19)
Im was quite literaly laughing my ass off... i fell off my chair laughing
Mike J (2012-07-20 17:39:51)
Out of curiosity, did Kate (mom) post her add on Craiglist? Where else would you find such a great response. Good job Mike P. Please continue to troll, you are making Internet interesting.
Derk (2012-07-19 23:52:22)
Deer Hunter reference is the best of all.
Matt (2012-07-19 10:42:49)
LOL this is funny as hell, but ssriously though, what kind of parent would let a random stranger drive their daughter?
Oscar (2012-07-18 10:18:18)
Thats not from Battlefield 3. Thats from Call of duty black ops 1. While they are in the underground tunnels. Also why in the hell is someone posting to have a complete stranger drive their daughter anywhere. Then later you see these parents on tv crying
peter (2012-07-18 07:31:38)
epic..simply epic
Sean D (2012-07-04 02:52:23)
Bitch why didn't you take that deal. I would have
Alex Mason (2012-07-03 00:34:20)
I remember when I had to play Russian Roulette . Bowman died but so did all the guards . Best part was when me and Woods blew through everyone with AKs
Kate (2012-07-03 00:32:05)
Pedobear you may pick my kid up at 12.00. I'll be paying the exact same price as I told Mike.
Troll Lord (2012-07-03 00:24:17)
WTF that guy is genius. Give him Over 9,000 medals!!!!!!!!!
Captain Obvious (2012-07-03 00:21:23)
That actually happened in Battlefield 3
Captain Obvious (2012-07-03 00:20:29)
Sean my name is Sean and and I have actually ridden with contractors in a APC . Once a contractor threw a knife into a guys face .
Sean (2012-06-28 20:24:46)
I've ridden with contractors on my last deployment to Iraq. Mike, man, you are a fucking a genius.
ZakGib (2012-06-25 16:10:40)
All of these made me laugh my balls off, give this man a medal
Humble reader (2012-06-24 20:46:56)
The best one yet from the TrollMeister
MBK (2012-06-19 05:48:25)
"...he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad..." ROFLMFAO muhahahahha
RandomGuy (2012-06-16 15:53:49)
I wonder how come everyone takes this seriously in the wrong way? If that would be me, i would've totally taken this Mike seriously and made the deal!
TASUJA (2012-06-15 15:38:25)
STOP, STOP PLEASE! CAN*T STOP LAUGHING
fan (2012-05-11 00:02:28)
Every word i might use, does your work injustice, i simply lack the linguistic skills to describe either how much it hilarized me or how well executed i think the setup was. this is my favourite mail and it led me to send out your page to all my friends.
Monty P. (2012-05-10 10:17:18)
"All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down." If I had the money, I would hire Mike.
Rawr (2012-05-06 17:06:51)
Hah I somewhat knew in my head that it was going to be about something similar with military lol. Well either it was funny ahaha. And the women was right, or didn't swear as much since she didn't want to say anything to "bad"
lola307 (2012-05-05 18:42:37)
"One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad." Haahaha that just killed me! :D
stef (2012-05-02 04:14:01)
This line had me in stitches: "The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have."
Jon (2012-05-01 18:52:51)
Everytime I read this, I naturally picture Jason Statham narrating.
Hands down the best one to date!
anonymous (2012-04-26 16:47:21)
lol, how come the women never cuss, and just say "hell" a lot?
anonymous (2012-04-26 16:09:04)
I have to admit you are quite talented...I can't begin to imagine your creativity with in person scenarios like with sasha cohen...keep up the work!
Adolf (2012-04-26 15:39:43)
Like the Deer Hunter reference.
Yes! (2012-04-25 03:48:35)
This is my favorite one. Hands down.
Sara (2012-04-24 04:35:58)
"I've seen an IED blow a ford focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball" For some reason this line is the one that makes me laugh so hard I cry
This is... (2012-04-10 17:58:15)
I got tears reading this. God bless 'merica! :-D
lads (2012-04-07 17:55:52)
This is golden..... I have tears.
Harvey Harhar (2012-04-06 02:49:24)
The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. LMAO-hopefully we won't have to use it
anonymous (2012-03-14 00:19:39)
"Ohhh God Michael there's rats in here!"
Mao!
Daniel (2012-03-14 00:03:32)
After a while i know the style and up-building of the writer, so before reading this next sentence, i knew something was coming and tears began flowing of laughter "Out of all the jobs I have done,90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharme
Kris (2012-02-27 03:14:21)
Kill zone was fucking funny
used condoms (2012-02-24 16:49:22)
I bet the guy who makes these spends all day on craigslist just fucking with people
gunny (2012-02-13 02:32:41)
he didn't say a 37 inch bullet, he said 7.62 x 39 that's 39mm long
anonymous (2012-02-12 16:25:04)
If Mike gave me that offer I would even be ready to go whore myself just to see the convoy with my daughter in it!
anonymous (2012-02-11 08:09:46)
I was expecting a pedophile joke, but this was MUCH better.
anonymous (2012-02-10 00:02:51)
I really want to see someone actually take him up on one of these ridiculous offers.
anonymous (2012-02-08 17:08:13)
g
MAtt (2012-02-02 03:54:43)
Did anyone even notice he claimed he had windows able to survive a 37 inch bullet>
Sam (2012-01-15 13:42:23)
It would have been a lot better if he had offered his services for a completely mundane price, I think. Like $20.
Lebron James (2012-01-12 18:29:09)
Funniest shitvever
idiots (2012-01-09 04:00:05)
kids that think everything is from their call of duty bullshit. it would surprise you to know how many of the most memorable parts of call of duties, especially treyarch's, are stolen directly from movies. the sniper level in w@w? Enemy at the Gates.
Alex (2012-01-08 10:48:42)
LOL!
anonymous (2012-01-04 21:43:23)
Hahahahaha... you're a freaking genius
Indigo (2012-01-03 14:25:11)
What the fuck kind of parent puts an ad on the internet to find someone to pick their kid up and take her somewhere
Darwin (2011-12-28 04:15:47)
"Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed."
Ahahahahaha!
"Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack."
Asdf (2011-12-23 18:13:18)
"One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad."
anonymous (2011-12-16 02:50:33)
This was uploaded in 2009, it has nothing to do with black ops.
Ann (2011-12-15 19:16:30)
Damn, what a sexy car he must have. Haha! That would be a badass security escort!
dopeboi (2011-12-15 04:20:52)
I don't understand how you come up with this shit! this is probably the funniest thing i've read in my entire life and I can't figure out how you do this! Genius man, genius.
You retard. (2011-12-13 11:37:54)
@i hate stupid people: Do you really think the guy in this exchange was serious? He was fucking with her, as all the emails do. None are serious. You retarded fuck.
Mario (2011-12-05 17:29:28)
Ha ha ha gotta love the "Deer Hunter" reference!
Nou (2011-12-04 17:39:27)
Ha ha, your spam got cut off ↓
Kman (2011-12-01 20:18:39)
lol the russian roullette part was from "The Dear Hunter" XD
anonymous (2011-12-01 10:52:50)
To all you fckers who thinks this is real. omfg. Its just for fun jesus christ!
anonymous (2011-11-26 23:06:04)
LOL @ i hate stupid people.
i hope you're joking. if you are, hilarious. if not...
get a brain, idiot.
Billie Jean (2011-11-19 13:31:47)
Is the guy below me for real?
i hate stupid people (2011-11-17 16:24:57)
First of all this parent is an idiot for wanting a stranger to drive her kid. Second the idiot who thinks he's back in Baghdad needs to get off the rambo kick. I've been to Iraq twice and this guy is off his rocker. Hey macho man, go get a real j
idiots (2011-11-11 09:48:40)
Jesus christ ppl these days think call of duty invented the fuckin wheel
Blake (2011-11-06 02:05:43)
Plus one for the deer hunter reference.
Obsessedwit7 (2011-10-08 17:17:36)
LMFAO!! How do u even come up wit this shit??
ralph (2011-10-06 05:01:22)
and Black ops wasn't out in 2009 dumbass
Kevin (2011-09-27 23:57:55)
its from the deer hunter not black ops you idiots
Kevin Lantz (2011-09-24 04:50:33)
Anyone that thinks it was a rip from CoD clearly hasn't seen the movie the scene is from...
Derp (2011-09-23 14:41:20)
2009-08-07 09:03:54 <-- That was when it was posted How could that have been a black ops rip off??
hahha (2011-09-22 10:06:04)
The russian roulete story is a rip of from Cod Black ops hahah
but i liked the part with 4 trucks escorting
Patrick Bateman (2011-09-20 16:41:11)
LOL a SALAD FORK! HAHAHAHA
Anthony (2011-09-17 04:37:06)
That mom must not care for her daughter... or ever played Modern warfare 2 (referring to the Russian invasion of America in the game)
Ease (2011-09-09 16:08:21)
Your references to pop culture make your emails even funnier, seeing that most victims don't even get them.
Matt (2011-08-25 21:53:48)
Ok, before I even read this, I have read the original ad, I have to say who the fuck asks random fuckin strangers to drive there kid to soccer practice, what if the stranger is a pedophile, you deserve to get your kid taken away.
LOL (2011-08-09 16:00:49)
the russian roulette part was from deer hunter
oOo (2011-08-08 19:29:40)
"Сырно (2011-07-28 00:59:04) I was expecting pedojokes as well. The template was completely destroyed." Mad cuz he didn't get a chance to hear a pedo-story. loser
Mstrss (2011-08-08 19:25:57)
==> "This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack" <== BWAHAHAHAAA!
Mstrss (2011-08-08 19:23:07)
Agreed Ely!! (2010-01-27 20:14:41)
This has me bustin'! I went to reread it got me again >_< !!
JonBej (2011-08-03 03:52:47)
aside from the "Deer Hunter" shtick (YES! Deer Hunter you COD fuckwits!) the part that had me bursting from the seams with laughter was [...high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones."]
Jason (2011-08-03 01:13:55)
"
what in the hell... " xD This is gold.
Damnnnn Bitches (2011-08-02 17:51:47)
This one didn't have jokes like the rest of them. I mean it was funny because he was so serious about it, but it wasn't as funny.
hehe (2011-07-30 21:43:47)
Kind of sad to see there are people like Kate who have absolutely no sense of humor though.
anonymous (2011-07-28 10:40:35)
Fork. Hahaha
Сырно (2011-07-28 00:59:04)
I was expecting pedojokes as well. The template was completely destroyed.
anonymous (2011-07-24 17:53:41)
I was expecting pedophilia jokes.
lololololololololol (2011-07-24 11:25:15)
Do any of you dipshits no that this came out a year before Black Ops? It references Deer Hunter, not shitty Call of Duty.
anonymous (2011-07-21 15:15:53)
"LOLOL this reminds me of a shitty game called black ops!!" are you fucking serious?
retards (2011-07-20 22:53:30)
TO ALL THE IDIOTS WHO THINK THIS IS FROM BLACK OPS: WATCH FUCKING DEER HUNTER. 1978. 20 YEARS BEFORE YOU FUCKING MORONS WERE BORN.
BLACK OPS (2011-07-20 20:53:32)
HAHAHAHA russian roulette then ak 47 sounds like the scene from black ops campaign when woods and mason were captured by the Vietnamese and were forced to play russian roulette then wood shot at himself and didn't die then mason shot the soldiers and
who cares (2011-07-20 19:00:09)
thats just freaking great love it.
awesome (2011-07-20 01:47:14)
this is the best of the best of the best SIR!
James (2011-07-19 13:08:30)
Nick's story sounds a LOT like a mission in Call of Duty: Black Ops :P
that man (2011-07-18 18:17:53)
damn 30 dollars a day. you won't be making much with gas prices -.-
meh (2011-07-18 01:03:10)
Exactly, Mike is doing the world a service. Or disservice if you think about the fact it is helping these dumbfucks survive to breed more.
tyugiftcyh (2011-07-13 01:28:43)
Who the fuck would put their ten year old kid in a car alone with a stranger she met on craigslist. that is so fucking stupid. i hope that exchange helped her realize how dumb that idea was.
joe (2011-07-02 21:21:24)
i watched the deer hunter just yesterday. Great timing.
Supervisor (2011-07-01 21:48:20)
This is my favorite one.
Steve (2011-06-28 15:19:08)
I'm glad you saw Deer hunter
Bradley (2011-06-25 15:03:49)
@Pee You simply jam the fork into the right place in the engine, and the rest is history.
superbanana (2011-06-25 07:24:31)
this is definitely without a doubt your best
DeeCee (2011-06-25 00:06:07)
Laughed until I cried....both times I read it....and in public too!
Boozemagnet (2011-06-21 21:58:42)
The fork line took it to the land of "too far."
Rabbit (2011-06-14 18:19:04)
Love that your reference's name is Walken. Lucky for you she hadn't seen Deer Hunter... Great stuff!
Michelle (2011-06-08 17:32:35)
This is one of your best imo :D I laughed so hard
But the fact that this woman is looking for a driver on Craigslist for her ten year old daughter..... some people should not be allowed to have kids!
anon (2011-06-08 01:22:02)
I lol'd @ deer hunter. HAHAH so much WIN
anonywhat? (2011-06-07 14:11:24)
loving the dear hunter refrance!
Craig (2011-06-01 12:06:27)
This is great! I appreciate the research he must do to use proper terminolgy for foreign cities/countries, guns, etc...
anonymous (2011-05-31 16:34:14)
I'm pretty surprised that someone would actually put an AD out for someone to drive her kid around. Actually I am not surprised, people are idiots. Haha funny conversation though.
"This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack"
MikeyDayy (2011-05-30 18:25:34)
Haha THAT'S WAT BITCH GETS FOR LOOKING FOR JUST ANYONE TO TRUST HER KIDS WITH ESPECIALLY ON CRAIGSLIST !!?? WOW THIS IS HOW KIDS GET KID NAPPED BITCH DESERVED TO GET FUCKED WITH !!!! BE A FUCKING MOM !!!! GOD DAMNIT!!!! UGH THIS PISSES ME OFF !!!
anonymous (2011-05-29 14:15:05)
Mike sounds pretty badasses :DDD
David (2011-05-26 15:32:48)
AHHH deer hunter dope
aninymous (2011-05-25 19:24:18)
FALUJAH XDD!
JIZZHAMMER (2011-05-24 04:14:48)
Yup... That's a hard go.. I remember my tour of duty.... Can't stand that Mid East heat..
@skittlezz (2011-05-22 03:13:10)
just about to type the same thing lol... wtf is she thinking??
Mark (2011-05-17 16:20:52)
Priceless!
Randomguy (2011-05-16 03:14:40)
I lost it at 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret. Priceless.
Lark (2011-05-12 16:36:23)
"...extracted from the soccer field." Priceless.
skittlezz (2011-05-11 17:55:51)
this is great, but what freaks me out is that the mom even considered letting her daughter ride with a 37 year old man that she had never met?
MAD MIKE'S MATE (2011-05-11 02:51:28)
Action man meets Annie
shane (2011-05-09 01:05:35)
magyver!!!
Pee (2011-05-03 22:56:29)
How do you destroy a truck with a fork?
Ford Focus (2011-04-27 02:59:30)
"none larger than a golf ball."
lmfao
anonymous (2011-04-23 10:56:04)
"The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed". Fucking genius!.
SafetyFirst (2011-04-18 23:58:23)
Seems legit
SafetyFirst (2011-04-18 23:57:33)
Seems legit
Conrad (2011-04-17 22:38:24)
Starting laughing pretty hard at the Deer Hunter reference. Everything before that was great too.
Fanatic (2011-04-14 09:28:22)
hahaha yup matt its from deer hunter :))))) fucking priceless hahahah
Tyrone (2011-04-13 04:45:29)
Nick's story sounds more like CoD:Black Ops
matt (2011-04-12 21:23:48)
Am i the only person who realizes that the roulette part is the plot of deer hunter?
anonymous (2011-04-03 06:34:24)
HAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this shit makes me laugh so hard
Lee (2011-04-01 22:45:58)
this is just too fucking awesome to stop smiling at.
Ismael (2011-04-01 19:59:47)
She's not looking for a professional she's looking for a taxi cab. $30/day
anonymous (2011-04-01 00:18:20)
@grant: awesome! I can't believe anyone else remembers the 'mao!' in that scene. I often find myself having to convince someone to do something they do not want to do. Slapping them in the face and yelling Mao! MAO! repeatedly has always been
Steve (2011-03-31 16:58:55)
The Russian roulette reference is an allusion to 'The Deer Hunter' with Robert Deniro and Christopher Walken. That is what the mission in Black Ops was based on, I believe.
anonymous (2011-03-25 18:00:22)
great one! :D
anonymous (2011-03-24 09:17:29)
I love that movie :)
ChuckleButt (2011-03-23 17:25:22)
My screen name may fool you, but I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. I'm buying the book right now!
tom (2011-03-23 11:16:00)
i had to stop reading half way because i was laughing too hard!
Pedobear (2011-03-22 03:11:53)
Can I apply now?I know its February,but,Kate,if you need me,I will be there for you and your daughter.Contact me -1800-BABY
Jeeeebus (2011-03-21 14:33:57)
I have read many many of these, this is at the top right now, cannot stop laughing
Greywalker (2011-03-21 11:25:53)
Epic win, just epic win. Sick ad though, who would trust anyone with then ten year old daughter alone? Seriously, parental ethics in question here. Send in the pedobear!
Esteban (2011-03-16 02:06:33)
Mike your are too fucking funny!! Without a doubt I'm going to recommend this site to my teachers! Because my generation doesn't appreciate this kind of subtle comedy!! Lol A site for older gents made a 16 year old Crap himself!
nice pants (2011-03-07 18:15:32)
Wow, there must be a lot of older folks reading these emails. On every single one I've read so far there are multiple comments regarding incontinence. I'm pleasantly surprised that the older generations get this kind of humor.
anonymous (2011-03-02 19:53:55)
well kate had that coming if she was gonna put an ad like that up.
dude (2011-02-17 05:32:32)
I was totally hoping he picked somebody in the area off of watchdog just to see if she'd bother checking...
Peter Phile (2011-02-06 02:20:16)
$200 is a small price to pay when you drive in this beast. I would totally do this.
Facelook (2011-01-28 16:47:41)
better contact local cab or town car service to do that job. who's gonna do that for 30 bucks
grant (2011-01-21 18:18:05)
Mao! Mao!
A Wynne (2011-01-15 08:23:25)
Fact for you: Bryn Mawr is Welsh for Big Hill.
Soulman (2011-01-12 03:33:51)
firstly, great site, funny as hell. I gotta agree with Pedo-Bear, kate's kid is gonna get raped. Any sick twisted freak is gonna jump at that ad.
Kallisti (2011-01-10 03:59:31)
I would fucking love to have my kid driven around by a mercenary in that car. She'd be the most badass kid in school XD
Pedo-Bear (2010-12-03 13:09:40)
I read the ad and the first thing that went through my mind is...... "Damn she is going to get raped.... pedophiles usually seem like the best people"
The Beer Hunter (2010-11-29 14:03:06)
As several commentators have already stated the scene that Nick described is from the movie "The Deer Hunter" which came out in 1978 long before Black Ops.
Publius (2010-11-26 21:55:53)
Black Ops is ripping off Deer Hunter, which every other commenter has mentioned...
anonymous (2010-11-23 02:03:53)
the last paragraph sounds EXTREMELY similar to a mission in Black Ops, which is weird, because this was released well over a year ago
bjz (2010-11-17 20:17:16)
this woman is a dipshit who doesnt care about the safety of her kid... do you know how many tangos i've had to gun down driving my brother to football games?
Gorgo (2010-11-09 22:04:53)
So she wants a professional driver and references but she only wants to pay $30 a day.
Snix (2010-11-01 15:40:27)
It would be better if he didn;t mention the fork thing, mayby it would continue
EnglishMaster (2010-10-16 11:56:38)
Only $30 per trip for an HOUR'S worth of driving with her stinky-from-practice, annoying little brat?!? Hell, that probably wouldn't even cover the GAS, that cheap-ass BITCH!
Mason (2010-10-06 02:41:03)
A woman wants her daughter to be driven around by a stranger from the internet were they will be alone. I cannot see anything going wrong with that.
Mason (2010-10-06 02:40:08)
A woman wants her daughter to be driven around by a stranger from the internet completely where they will be alone. I cannot see anything going wrong with that.
werdyko (2010-10-05 21:53:17)
OH MY GOD! the best part that i didnt even realize before is that he uses the last name walken and the first name nick, which was christopher walkens name in the movie.... pure genius
werdyko (2010-10-05 21:52:03)
lol what nick said is an exact scene from the movie deer hunter. freakin classic
LUV3RBOY (2010-10-05 21:09:53)
OMFG!!!I HAD WORKED WITH THIS MR. PARTLOW B4!:O HE SOOOOO TOOK CREDIT 4 EVRYTHING I DID BAK IN IRAQ!HE WAS THE GUY I ESCORTED!!LOL "what in the hell...."xD
LUV3RBOY (2010-10-05 21:07:42)
OMFG!!!I HAD WORKED WITH THIS MR. PARTLOW B4!:O HE SOOOOO TOOK CREDIT 4 EVRYTHING I DID BAK IN IRAQ!HE WAS DTHE GUY I ESCORTED!!LOL "what the hell...."xD
travis (2010-10-01 11:11:21)
One of the best ones. When I first discovered this site I read all the ones that where available and I literally laughed so hard I was crying the whole time. I had tears rolling down my face. One of them I was laughing so hard I nearly peed and pooped
Sgt Jarhead (2010-09-29 23:51:26)
This guy is obviously a pipehitter. He knows the lingo.
LMBAO (2010-09-24 15:18:40)
Its sounds real out PA!!!
anonymous (2010-09-19 19:39:47)
this man has mastered the art of trolling...SO EPIC!
zygotesix (2010-09-16 23:14:36)
I honestly want to hire Mike the Mercenary to escort me to industry conferences when I travel for work. You can never be too safe, advertisers can be tricky.
Deer Hunter (2010-09-08 16:18:10)
That part about the Russian roulette sort of reminded me of a scene from Deer Hunter with Christopher Walken lol
lmao (2010-08-18 09:16:49)
*10
lmao (2010-08-18 09:16:33)
@joejoe
okay honestly i thought that was going to happen too as soon as I read '0 year old daughter'
... (2010-08-15 22:07:52)
"what the hell..." pure genius
BlueGuy (2010-08-12 18:55:02)
I have seen a Focus get blown up by an IED into a thousand pieces none bigger than a golf ball.
Serves that Focus right.
Azsen (2010-08-11 10:20:24)
Sounds like security detail for the president.
Glock (2010-07-31 21:10:12)
Haha I was unaware of the "kill-zones" in Pennsylvania. Thanks for the heads up!
A.R. (2010-07-25 14:40:53)
"This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA..."
As opposed to urban PA, where obviously the heavily armored truck would be necessary :P
Leroy (2010-07-23 16:55:44)
I would've added one thing to it. When he talked about his daughter getting into 4 cars randomly, I would've also added that for an extra fee, we can hire body doubles of her daughter, to "misplace" the actual target.
lol-soooo freakin
joejoewtf (2010-07-23 00:48:53)
@joejoe dude you are a sicko...
Mr. M (2010-07-21 08:05:15)
Hahahahha! BRILLIANT stuff man, greeting from Denmark!!
srh (2010-07-20 17:39:04)
'One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad.' omfg i allmost pissed myself
joejoeisgay (2010-07-20 10:29:15)
joejoe that would have just made the whole thing not funny and just flat out weird. good try though
joejoe (2010-07-18 18:35:55)
i would have told her i had done time for sexual assault on a minor or something make her think i was gna rape her daughter haha
walkie talkie (2010-07-18 15:07:47)
A+++ This gotta be one of the best. Thanks for the fun!
jean (2010-07-11 11:31:13)
You used shit from the deer hunter, priceless!
Wendy (2010-07-10 02:44:32)
I have been reading these for the past hour, this is my favorite, ..."four trucks will pull up, she will get into a random one each day..."I seriously am having trouble breathing.
anonymous (2010-07-08 17:00:05)
You guys are awesome, what more can be said? You should be proud, and aspiring trolls should take note of how class, movie references, tone, everything - can come together perfectly.
thebreadbinman (2010-07-05 16:58:35)
what stupid bitch would let a random person drive their 10 year old girl anyway?
nearsightedninja (2010-07-05 14:26:12)
i love the deer hunter references. obviously kate doesnt watch good movies
F-Kid (2010-07-02 02:57:51)
How is it possible this isn't top rated? he could've went 20,000 directions with this but he chose the right one, that was hillar-i-o!!!
WTF (2010-07-01 01:08:17)
How come this is not top rated? How do I vote?
anonymous (2010-06-27 20:35:10)
lmfao the response at the end was the icing on the cake
anonymous (2010-06-23 22:04:56)
wow...they are all hysterical...but wow this one has me crying!
michael (2010-06-23 15:10:33)
the deer hunter reference killed me hahaha
morgane (2010-06-21 17:31:24)
this sounds like the plot for a disney movie
Fahim (2010-06-20 15:26:54)
DID NOT expect the killing with the fork out of the blue! Oh my god lolllllll
Jon C. (2010-06-20 06:23:01)
Oh my god that was amazing. I was laughing the whole way through, but completely list it at "One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad."You are the funniest person since Bill Cosby before he aged into his bl
Jeah Cee (2010-06-17 20:53:28)
HAHAHAHA! Fuck yeah!
Stinky (2010-06-17 15:54:32)
OMG, I laughed so hard I crapped my shorts.
JENNYLOVE (2010-06-15 12:22:33)
LMMFAO!!! Dam this stuff is funny....
Tiirediiyes (2010-06-15 09:03:29)
I got a rush reading this.. wtf
BobSmith (2010-06-11 03:30:23)
That MIRT sounds like The Shizz omg that was hilarious
tom wehnes (2010-06-10 07:51:41)
im fat and i work in Mc Donalds
Patrick (2010-06-08 02:03:10)
I can't fucking work, not when I'm laughing like this!
eugene (2010-06-01 08:33:02)
Hahaha indeed fork is the meanest weapon:
one hit- four holes!!!!
blaine (2010-05-29 05:46:38)
who gives a flying cunt if he took a scene from deer hunter... its fucking creative to even incorporate it
anzana (2010-05-18 12:04:45)
hahahahaha!!! yea this is the funniest so far!
Shoes (2010-05-16 00:58:08)
um dipshit it's deerhunter not dear hunter
Tim (2010-05-01 12:14:53)
I found this pretty funny until the Russian Roulette part came up. Not so original given that it's a scene from the dear hunter.
Mike (2010-04-26 22:18:20)
Haha WTF? He killed a truck full of insurgents using a fork from his salad?? LMFAO
Yoshimano (2010-04-26 07:39:02)
F*** This one is just awesome I'm a getting fired for laughing to much at work with this one :D Seriously "One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad." was one of the best, among plenty of other that had
That one guy (2010-04-25 01:48:03)
I honestly think that "Racist Microwave" was better
Anthony (2010-04-23 05:27:31)
This had to be the funniest one thus far.
arbitrarily (2010-04-21 18:51:11)
Brilliant!
Emmie (2010-04-16 20:55:19)
I peed in my pants!
nathan (2010-04-16 10:18:37)
i like monkeys
The hell.. (2010-04-16 01:05:08)
Is that a true advertisement..? Things could've gone so wrong.
dickhead (2010-04-15 09:52:20)
funny shit man
Courtney (2010-04-14 11:13:56)
i laughed so hard that i choked on my drink! hahaha
Mike (2010-04-09 21:32:41)
Best one you have done! Awesome job
Paul Bearer (2010-04-07 23:43:47)
Only one thing would have made this funnier. When she asked if she could call you Mike, you should have said "No, please call me Mr. Partlow. I don't like taking the risk of getting emotionally attached to my clients."... or something like t
Not Kate (2010-04-02 09:31:12)
Very funny
old man (2010-03-23 04:10:41)
this is a very old joke! right mars?
filly boy (2010-03-22 19:15:59)
dats wats up mah man im tellin yall funny ass shit
jew (2010-03-22 01:51:11)
I'm jewish
rat salad (2010-03-20 12:33:30)
Total whoop-ass!
kri (2010-03-19 02:59:16)
there has to be some emails that backfired... I mean people can be that crazy. "ok ill pay you 200 an hour, deal?" then what hahaha I want to see that happening
Dave (2010-03-17 09:26:30)
Loved the Deer Hunter reference, lol
Awesome (2010-03-17 00:29:36)
I love the follow up recommendation email. 3 bullets...lmao
Kirk! (2010-03-14 16:04:41)
Wow instant classic man! LOLLLLLllll
daisy (2010-03-12 19:55:53)
HAHAHA!!!! That was so, so, damn funny!!
anonymous (2010-03-07 22:39:54)
DEER HUNTER!!!!!!
david (2010-03-05 09:07:37)
LOL @ the deerhunter scene
Matt (2010-03-04 15:08:12)
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Genius
Dave (2010-03-01 10:03:56)
" Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3." LOL!!!!
Restaurant Recipes secrets (2010-02-27 13:55:11)
keep quoting these dead white guys for a reason. We seem to be repeating some particularly nasty history, right now.
me (2010-02-26 13:21:44)
where can i find mike????
Anala Canal (2010-02-26 07:46:41)
Splendid job, my good man.
Adam (2010-02-26 01:53:38)
Oh man, I could barely make it through this one it was so good. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.
anotheranonymous (2010-02-25 13:59:27)
My makeup is ruined!! I've LMAO too! Keep going ~ what an skewed mind & imagination!
ronny (2010-02-24 16:38:19)
omfg ive been reading these since ive been in class today and I read the hidden weapons one and was literally tearing up laughin. After iv'e been reading these there hasn't been one i have laughed at. After I read this one I had to post something.
Coolguyeli (2010-02-23 22:30:30)
HAHAHA!!!
will (2010-02-23 08:25:45)
ABSOLUTE BEST ONE!!
shaPOW (2010-02-21 08:54:30)
deer hunter totally made it for me
Sam (2010-02-21 02:42:18)
The sad thing is that rich kids in Mexico are escorted to school in this method
a fan (2010-02-20 11:31:14)
LMAO, this was hilarious
Constant (2010-02-19 16:56:07)
This SHIeT is epic. I LoLd till my stomach hurt =)
Astarte (2010-02-19 09:59:44)
...does he make pit stops for milkshakes??
Liam Freeman (2010-02-19 04:53:25)
I wish Mike would take me home! He sounds a right stud muffin!
amazing (2010-02-18 20:29:12)
this is the best one I have seen so far... good work.
Max (2010-02-18 11:54:48)
This is damn funny, but the last guy ruined it, 'Mike' wrote his emails so well it could have been believable, but then 'Nick' is obviously a 13 year old with minimal writing skills.
TMiller (2010-02-17 22:06:21)
"Shit my pants" -TM
Doc Awesome (2010-02-17 21:21:30)
Hilarious. I really admire the attention to detail. Google is your friend.
this ones the best (2010-02-16 22:37:09)
Lol I love this, keep it up!
gen franks (2010-02-16 05:13:21)
none larger than a golfball - extract from the soccer field - Hopefully we won't have to use it ... LOL - so nice makin jokes bout sandniggers & brutalst redneck-killer in iraq - u ran from jail here ? nice reason 2 rape entire population -( real job
Max (2010-02-15 10:05:52)
That last reply was priceless.
Bob Smith (2010-02-14 13:14:06)
going to make Mike and *me* ...
Soldier in Iraq (2010-02-14 12:55:47)
haha awesome. good humor for a guy over here doing the real deal.
Soldier in Iraq (2010-02-13 14:37:42)
haha awesome. good humor for a guy over here doing the real deal.
Jerry Smith (2010-02-13 13:29:37)
"I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces[...]"
LOL!
jojo (2010-02-12 16:28:47)
In a way it puts life in perspective.
Kim (2010-02-12 00:52:34)
I LOVE her last email. Poor kid though. What kind of mom tosses out an ad for a stranger to pick up her 10yo daughter?
B_ryan (2010-02-11 19:10:21)
"For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus." Haha so great
Mike (really) (2010-02-11 18:22:23)
Thank you for wasting an entire half day for me. My wife is going to kill me when she gets home from work and sees that the undies still haven't been folded.
Maximatum (2010-02-11 07:07:31)
Fucking gold.
Brendan (2010-02-10 18:20:50)
"One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad." lm-mf-ao.
Anonymous (2010-02-10 16:39:13)
Wow, that's the funniest thing I've ever read. :D :D:D:D:D:D:D
ThatGuy (2010-02-10 14:44:54)
Hahaha Deer Hunter reference. Great movie too.
Fog (2010-02-09 17:15:42)
I enjoy how you threw a little deer hunter in there.
Jaren (2010-01-30 03:02:43)
Shut the FUCK UP Kate, GOD DAMMIT.
Genius tho, hahaha.
Love this website, its definitely one of my favorites.
Keep it up, man!
Love,
Jaren :)
V (2010-01-29 11:35:30)
Agreed Ely, that is my favorite part. XD
Ely (2010-01-27 20:14:41)
"Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack." insanity, i don't understand how some people don't find this hilarious. <3
Jesse (2010-01-27 11:00:37)
Hey Mike, I am currently deployed and we use this website for daily laughs.....ingenious....you are the man, pleas ekeep them coming
Madtowngurl (2010-01-26 16:08:00)
ROFLMAO I cannot believe the insanity/ creativity that you have! I have to come here every day and read more! You are the best!
DMC (2010-01-26 09:59:47)
He just offered her what she asked for.
hilarious (2010-01-24 23:13:14)
i literally laugh until i cry. each one is funnier than the next.
Jennifer (2010-01-20 22:52:57)
I have been laughing all friggen day reading this stuff! My husband is deployed and he will find this hilarious as well. Thanks for entertaining the USN!
:) (2010-01-18 22:17:34)
Dude, I feel like making a piontless add just so I can get the chance for you to email me with one of your funny ass ridiculous stories.
Ashley (2010-01-15 14:36:00)
Isn't that the plot of Deer Hunter?
Xe warrior (2010-01-13 05:45:28)
Greetz to Mike! I have driven into Hell with him, and safely arrived in Heaven, with a Shiekh's 10 yo daughter!
Soccer is very popular in Iraq. All the Shiekhs employ our services. Now opening franchises in Afghanistan, Pakistan, East LA, Chica
gorf. (2010-01-12 21:34:09)
holy shit; i cannot believe how moronic people can be ! effing hilarious.
by the wa, i need a driver...
Larry (2010-01-12 15:17:43)
Drake's teeth are dark, man.
Jesse (2010-01-11 12:16:12)
That thread was awesome. I think it should be turned into a theme park ride.
UNN (2010-01-08 17:50:45)
It's only funny when the other person is fooled. This isn't funny to non-teenagers.
Aston (2010-01-08 15:17:38)
20 minutes at $125 an hour is only about $40...if I was her I would have gone for it.
anonymous (2010-01-07 16:30:02)
deer hunter is a horrible movie!
Chris (2010-01-06 11:41:52)
"...she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. " excellent!
Nicky (2010-01-05 23:36:32)
Mike, I love you.
anonymous (2010-01-01 02:43:33)
please have my babies
Locc408 (2009-12-28 00:56:56)
I was at work and i bursted out laughing uncontrollably...."One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations." Luckily my supervisor just left
AP (2009-12-21 17:18:53)
This has to be the best one. "One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad." Classic.
GCL (2009-12-09 00:48:45)
LOL! Deer Hunter!
Carl (2009-12-06 04:27:29)
This one is actually pretty funny. I like the lifeguard one, too.
anonymous (2009-12-03 16:10:56)
Too bad this Mike isn't real! Sounds hot!
great (2009-12-03 14:49:40)
well done very funny
Mark (2009-12-03 10:35:23)
I have read this one 5 times and just keep laughing
Comrad nende (2009-12-03 05:28:33)
Comrad nende salutes you!
HOUSE (2009-11-30 15:55:54)
This is my favorite one
Julian (2009-11-27 13:26:00)
Excellent. Very well written!
laughing belgian (2009-11-26 21:03:21)
incredibly funny - thanks! tears from laughing
way2high4this (2009-11-23 02:50:29)
haha wow, i havn't laughed this hard in a month! thank you so much, ahahahha. As soon as i read "My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered bal
Lazy (2009-11-22 22:11:49)
This SERIOUSLY made my day
Mike (2009-11-19 23:39:15)
Mike simply HILARIOUS!!!!
chuckles (2009-11-18 22:51:21)
responding to goon squad. You are correct, why would you hire a complete stranger to transport your daughter? that is just asking for her to get raped, or like you said, kidnapped.
Fredingo (2009-11-18 22:48:02)
icing on the cake: 'what in the hell...' haha
anonymous (2009-11-18 19:58:22)
awesome read :)
ryan (2009-11-15 03:09:34)
You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad.
oh my god... this is the best line in the whole thing.
Cccc (2009-11-14 19:16:12)
"I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball." HAHAH. this guy should write movie scripts.
anonymous (2009-11-12 15:16:23)
Haha fuck yeah for the deer hunter reference!!!
Dude (2009-11-11 16:40:46)
"One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad." Epic win. xD
tard (2009-11-11 11:20:38)
has got to be the best one yet. Amazing attention to detail!
rdc (2009-11-07 01:18:23)
hilarious, I'm so sleepy but can't stop reading ...
VckyLockwud (2009-11-06 00:31:05)
Thats cool. I agree, that was a good post!Dude a friend of mine has been was tring to increase semen volume. He try all natural threaph, they were working, but very slow, so at the end, he try try semen volume pills to increase prodcution, volume and flav
Tommy Z (2009-11-04 18:53:17)
OMFG this is priceless. He's got a point, you can't put a price on your childrens safty. PA is a dangerous place.
l3lack5h33p (2009-11-01 15:49:53)
Haha extract from the soccer field XD
awesome (2009-11-01 14:53:13)
fucking hilarious
wowisafaggot (2009-10-30 18:50:30)
If your name is wow you probably play the game WoW so you are wasting your life away probably in your mid 30's on sites like these and saying they are dumb. Get a life bro.
jesse (2009-10-30 04:47:16)
thats hilarious. and btw, dont waste all our time by commenting on how dumb this is, you're on the site for a reason, probably less time consuming to hit the little red "x"
wow (2009-10-30 00:44:20)
This is probably one of the stupidest thing's I've ever wasted my time on. How old are you, seven?
Jen (2009-10-29 07:32:05)
Love you Mike.
Hogan (2009-10-26 05:13:49)
EXCELLENT! :)
Rob (2009-10-17 14:37:46)
The Deerhunter reference was a nice touch.
Dave (2009-10-13 15:11:05)
The MIRT sounds like a nice touch. I'd love to have one of those for my commute, which is also on traffic light infested Rte 3.
Hajira Suliman (2009-10-12 21:47:36)
Page 1
Footprints FilmworksThe Presidential BoxDecember 2025FF News
This is an E I G H T Page FF News Brief Bulletin so the footprints team suggests that you be nice and relaxed when viewing this bulletin. This is an Exclusive Interview with South A
Fatty McFatso (2009-10-12 18:54:04)
i love this website lol "We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed secu
Snake (2009-10-10 20:22:01)
The part about the POW camp and russian roulette is from a movie called the deer hunter. Robert De Niro plays Mike, and Christopher Walken plays Nick. great movie
creek (2009-10-09 11:42:10)
this is the funniest stuff ever
Blondie (2009-10-09 06:27:29)
"Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the ot
Cedric (2009-10-05 06:30:25)
"One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad." - Very good one
goon squad (2009-09-29 16:01:52)
alright who as a parent posts an ad for someone to drive their 10 year old daughter to soccer practice? thats just asking for a kidnapping or some shit
Alex Ruiz (2009-09-28 19:52:58)
mr. harshay, you can't laugh at this cuz you have no sense of humor.
roflbox (2009-09-25 12:10:37)
this is got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet...soooooo funny
JMoore (2009-09-25 00:21:03)
Thanks for introducing me to this, I'm immediately addicted. This stuff is fuckin' hilarious.
anon (2009-09-23 22:10:05)
aaahhhh-MAZING! i love this site!
anonymous (2009-09-23 16:58:05)
I can't believe you douche bags don't think these emails are hilarious. LEAVE THE WEBSITE, DON'T BITCH.
JB (2009-09-19 17:59:20)
Being in the military, this was especially hillarious!! LOVED IT!!
anonymous (2009-09-19 11:20:01)
I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE... I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING.. U DEMENTED GENIUS!
Me (2009-09-18 10:33:25)
I don't know man... Those soccer games can get kind of heated!!!!
Tick (2009-09-14 09:56:00)
Hey Rick, it's DEER HUNTER you moron.
Robaralis (2009-09-11 21:52:40)
BRILLIANT!
German AA-Gun (2009-09-11 18:33:25)
dear god i fucking love you have my penis
Hammerkat (2009-09-10 14:36:49)
Mike Partlow needs to grow up.
Harshay (2009-09-10 08:52:05)
Lol why is this funny to people... i kinda like it.. but cant understand how can ppl laugh like hell on these things..
Rick (2009-09-08 02:31:17)
The end scene is from the Dear Hunter morons. Oh wait, I am the moron for reading this and commenting.
@niggle (2009-09-07 02:54:01)
Haha definitely sounds like the Transporter. But the situation sounds more like Vin Diesel in the Pacifier :p
Chris (2009-09-06 21:47:47)
This guy, I don't know where he gets his ideas, but I hope he comes up with more!
Ramblin' Man (2009-09-04 06:56:10)
This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...Fact, Between 46,000 and 51,000 Americans were casualties in the three-day battle at Gettysburg LMAO!!! :) Check me out, Funnyernshit at Youtube
Amy (2009-09-03 23:33:12)
I completely take back what I just said. -_-;
90% (2009-09-03 21:34:57)
That's not a very high percentage!
Umm (2009-09-03 18:18:21)
You do realize that the guy who runs this site IS Mike Partlow (one of his many names)
Amy (2009-09-03 17:47:27)
I think that this guy was for real. The e-mails were way too detailed to have been made up, even for a military fanboy. This guy probably is looking for a more richer client. When you think of it that way, it probably makes more sense. Like the president&
Hah! (2009-09-01 23:22:03)
salad forks are the real weapons of the future..
hahaha good lord! (2009-09-01 15:59:09)
"The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have." hahahahaha this is
KB (2009-09-01 14:25:01)
OMG!! This is so funny! I almost peed my pants! LOL!
Scarlet (2009-08-31 23:33:22)
(con't) on her level of co operative involvement in a little game I like to play called Split the Banana Peel.
Scarlet (2009-08-31 23:32:09)
Lol... that sounds like an awesome opportunity for a pedophile... hey I'm reliable I'll pick your daughter up and take her for ice cream, then have her home after a small stop in a secluded area where she will remain relatively unharmed depending
anonymous (2009-08-31 12:34:54)
The 416 would be a great gun to have but I would like to offer to build you a special gun. It's an eighty aughty eighty and would be better oriented for the job. Good luck, and hope you get the job !
Erin loves Mike (2009-08-31 12:23:33)
Mike Partlow, you make me so hott and wet talking about your experiences. I want to blow you on national television. I love thinking about your steaming pile of Man Cock.
niggle (2009-08-31 11:56:57)
Hahahahaahahahahah
For some reason, Mike reminds me of Jason Statham in this letter
guernica (2009-08-30 01:38:54)
Still wiping the tears of laughter away...these are great!!!
classic (2009-08-29 10:08:34)
in tears....
AyrClone (2009-08-29 06:40:35)
My name is Ayr and nothing is funny to me.
Aaanonymous (2009-08-29 00:39:46)
Deer Hunter. Nice. hahaha
ASK (2009-08-27 03:32:28)
Dude wtf. Why is a mother willing to let A STRANGER drive her 10 yr. old daughter home from soccer practice? GET SOMEONE YOU KNOW. But okay this shit is funny as hell
Pitiful (2009-08-27 01:33:08)
Hmmm...interesting...
BluBlaDe (2009-08-26 16:29:52)
LOL! Epic !
Random Guy (2009-08-25 19:15:44)
Uhh yeah the mark 19 is a belt fed automatic grenade launched that fires 40mm grenades. Look it up.
Carver (2009-08-25 12:40:47)
The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed.
LOLWUT? Auto Grenade launcher bullshit?!?@?!#?!
Kman (2009-08-25 12:32:37)
I laughed so hard on this one. This is so damn funny. Great job man!
Daver (2009-08-24 16:26:43)
first time I've ever been here... OMG!! that is some of the funniest shit I've ever read!!!
anonymous (2009-08-22 05:08:48)
always a fucking pleasure LOL MFAO
pedoshare (2009-08-20 16:23:30)
anyone interested in trading pics of my sack?
tacpninja (2009-08-20 15:56:43)
WTF?! Is this lady trying to get some serial pedophile to apply for the job or something? Some mom!
ECP Bored as Fuck (2009-08-20 08:31:50)
Perfect. Not only am i thoroughly entertained, but my army uniform just went from pickle green to shit brown. You owe me a uniform.
Bitch (2009-08-20 08:22:00)
"extracted from the soccer field." Yes. LMFAO!
je weet toch (2009-08-19 16:42:52)
Classic, although the reference reminded me a bit too much of deer hunter =P
Paul (2009-08-19 16:28:47)
This is epic. I was laughing so hard at work I started crying. Thank you for putting a smile on my face.
anonymous (2009-08-19 01:21:21)
haha i love The Deer Hunter
LifeWanted (2009-08-18 23:58:36)
I care about this site so little, that I had to visit it and post a comment. It is THAT unimportant to me. In fact, I am now obsessed with not even thinking about it.
Ayr (2009-08-18 22:51:19)
This one isnt that funny either
kyle (2009-08-18 18:08:53)
The time innetween his posts keeps getting longer and longer. I'm done with this site.
Willy (2009-08-18 17:41:36)
Operation: Start posting more
Jessica (2009-08-18 14:36:54)
You have got to be kidding me.. 11 days since the last post? That's ridiculous..
realistic (2009-08-18 12:41:46)
I dont see what the big deal is. This is so American. Texans who do not consider themselves as Americans are worse.
yo (2009-08-18 12:23:29)
Damn what happen you get sick, cant wait till the next one
yeah (2009-08-18 11:59:42)
NEW STUFF! NEW STUFF! NEW STUFF! NEW STUFF! I am addicted to this site now. I need to see some NEW STUFF!
pedo (2009-08-18 11:16:26)
I would give her a ride but 17yo is a lil TOO OLD 4 me.
i.must.reply (2009-08-18 10:09:32)
i noe ur ordy long fucking dead...but can u plz come back 2 life n post another 1...dis is ur purpose of life...god's commands
Link (2009-08-18 09:58:48)
Post a link to the original craigslist ad
GAGANDEEP (2009-08-18 09:53:48)
WOW ... you are really hilarious ... I actually fell down from my chair laughing. and also had tears in my eyes.
NOcoincidence (2009-08-18 09:31:02)
The route Kate says her daughter would take: 3. Number of bullets placed into the revolver: 3. Parties to the email exchange: 3. Number of astounding "coincidences" I have discovered: 3. Why won't the media report on this?
fuck you. (2009-08-18 09:22:06)
that's right.
Feck man (2009-08-18 07:49:33)
Hurry up updating or I'll just steal your idea and do my own site with these.
cool-R (2009-08-18 06:21:22)
@anon: kate probably wants to get rid of her daughter. s.o. should give her a ride straight to the nuthouse
bored (2009-08-18 05:03:25)
New post please..
Manish (2009-08-18 02:03:39)
Such an idiotic but funny conversation
Jorge Posada (2009-08-17 22:26:35)
i wish you would fucking post something already. this is the only thing i look forward to after a hot day behind the plate
r0d3nt (2009-08-17 22:04:20)
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.
He can escort my hacker dog any day.
bspark (2009-08-17 17:41:53)
this is the funniest thing i have read all day.i just hope all of these people were legitimately fucking with those that replied, if not this is just kind of disturbing.
Fuck My Arse (2009-08-17 16:51:17)
Mike ur killing me post something already
Frank in Delaware (2009-08-17 15:36:41)
Operation: Next fucking post - please.
imissMike (2009-08-17 15:03:42)
MIKE PARTLOW!!!! I miss you. come back to us!!!
sane mind (2009-08-17 14:38:56)
Ok, you are the reason why I don't post classified ads... btw, does this mom have friends? posting on a frig'n classified ad for this kind of service! wtf?
Tub Girl (2009-08-17 14:38:10)
Oops, I farted
Duncan's Guardian (2009-08-17 12:10:19)
Duncan should be gone for a little while. We discovered that the lock on his padded room was faulty so we replaced it today. We can only look after him at the living facility so what he does at the pencil factory is up to them.
i.must.reply (2009-08-17 12:03:57)
Update ordy motherfucker!!!pretty plz....
Mexicant (2009-08-17 10:18:33)
"WHAT IS THIS?"
This is a collection of e-mails I have sent to people who post classified ads. My goal was to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off. I do not update it anymore.
nerval (2009-08-17 09:35:56)
amazing ! :)
Diablo (2009-08-17 08:02:43)
funny ass shit i like the dramatic shooting scene near the end of the reference
pika (2009-08-17 04:47:37)
200 for 4 suvs.cheap as water
Kev (2009-08-17 00:05:00)
EPIC! Nice one!
mcluvin (2009-08-16 22:36:15)
What the heck is wrong with this site? GIVE US SOME NEW STUFF!
anonymous (2009-08-16 21:14:35)
deer hunter ftw!
notDuncan (2009-08-16 20:47:42)
I'm funny because I was pretending to be Duncan even though I'm not Duncan.
Beemer01 (2009-08-16 18:58:44)
I love this guy. Brilliant stuff.
notDuncan (2009-08-16 18:03:16)
I noticed others have kept it up, which I think is hilarious, but I wonder if the real duncan is even still around. or did he puss out and change his name?
notDuncan (2009-08-16 18:01:32)
I wonder if the original "Duncan" has posted since Broken Umbrella? I came late to the duncan bashing, but I was the first to post as duncan stating the obvious.
anonymous (2009-08-16 04:11:59)
i laughed so hard at "ive seen an ied blow a ford focus to piece none bigger than a golf ball" lol fuckin amazing
d (2009-08-16 02:24:55)
Fuk I hate the guy who owns this piece of shit site
anonymous (2009-08-16 00:42:23)
I love the reference to the russian roulette scene in The Dear Hunter, too bad Kate didn't pick up on it
soar (2009-08-16 00:03:17)
He should at least add an RSS feed or something.
soar (2009-08-15 23:10:40)
You plan on updating your site any fucking time soon?
this (2009-08-15 19:17:36)
is amazing lol!!!
irish1 (2009-08-15 16:21:44)
I think we should all donate $$ to this guy for more likker - keep it coming
spudboater (2009-08-15 15:05:55)
This was my first time on your site and I laughed so hard I peed my pants. It takes a lot to make me laugh that hard. I plan to check this out frequently. I sent on to a friend who really does do security protection in Iraq and other places. He laughed, t
Tim Duncan (2009-08-15 15:04:53)
That's some funny shit, but seriously duncan...WTF? I've asked you nicely, would you please go away? Nobody likes you duncan & you're douching up my good name! You are a cocksucking grundle licker! haha
bobbygringo13 (2009-08-15 14:59:54)
Hilarious!
anonymous (2009-08-15 11:41:01)
@holidamericus
Yeah? Well at least we have cool haircuts!
Blue haired lawyer (2009-08-14 18:27:07)
Will you write another one yet? Come on, you're slow.
excellent (2009-08-14 16:54:42)
this is my favorite one !!
holidamericus (2009-08-14 16:13:39)
That 's what happens in the US. Ppl are ALL fucked up, TV, videogames, their sex symbols and heroes come out of Holywood, which is even MORE fucked up, the government wants to make you more stupid, so they serve you shit anyway, and so you end up bein
scrub (2009-08-14 15:16:36)
first time to this site. you are without a doubt the predominant comedic genius of our time. don't stop!
Mike (2009-08-14 12:37:05)
Please, do not stop doing this.
GhostToast (2009-08-14 12:25:54)
omg, the deer hunter reference was perfect. loved it.
duncan (2009-08-14 12:15:50)
funny stuff
anonymous (2009-08-14 12:14:22)
If you want to keep people looking at this site you need to post things more often.
People will stop coming here if you dont.
SlyDrJ (2009-08-14 10:26:03)
ROFLMAO- That made my sides hurt !!
Ai (2009-08-14 00:06:00)
What kind of mother lets strangers drive her kid around?
yeah (2009-08-13 23:52:13)
...come on guy, get your troll game back on track.
Mike Partlow (2009-08-13 23:48:06)
You should probably block this name as a username
admina (2009-08-13 22:49:47)
Maybe the owner is an overly sensitive ginger? Sux for him.
anon (2009-08-13 22:44:46)
i would not mind having pop-up, ads,t-shirt selling w/e just hoping for regular updates. hell i would buy something from if that was made avaliable, very funny site
Vinnie (2009-08-13 20:16:54)
Dude your the best. Havent found a site this funny in years. Please, for our sake, keep messing with people.
meatspinner (2009-08-13 18:53:07)
Me too, all I did was post something about ginger people...
admina (2009-08-13 17:48:17)
Haha owner of this site directs me to meatspin whenever I post, such a bitch. Aaand hell delete this post when he sees it. This site has gone way downhill anyway
anonymous (2009-08-13 15:43:59)
femmechicka: Mike Partlow isn't really a character, more of a name that he just uses and always has a different profile depending on what's needed.
Get With It: I agree because it sucks waiting for days to get an update. These trolls are great.
Get With It (2009-08-13 12:32:23)
Get some advertising on this site. Make this your full time job. Way too slow posting new content bro. This is just turning into an immature trolling site.
Luckster (2009-08-13 02:19:45)
You're the very reason kids think that trolling is considered cool.
your mother (2009-08-12 20:31:32)
lawl nick you're such a douchebag
femmechicka (2009-08-12 20:16:32)
awesome....i think this guy is basically the internet sacha baron cohen and his mike partlow character is the best
jo (2009-08-12 19:19:47)
amazing...'Nicks' email, just amazing.
hey poirot (2009-08-12 18:20:28)
what are these "giveaways in the text"?
space face (2009-08-12 18:16:45)
too many mongs following this site now, the next one to mention RSS should be killed instantly. Do some work you morons
Poirot (2009-08-12 16:18:22)
Fake! Two giveaways in the text prove this to be fake. Still reasonably funny but most of the comments are as weak as fishpiss. Site in decline alert!!
KC NEWMAN (2009-08-12 11:59:32)
I haven't laughed this hard in AGES. Bookmarked and shared! Hilarious!!
Sal R (2009-08-12 09:11:49)
After "dream vacation" was scared you jumped the shark, but fuck i was wrong! this site is going down as one of the all time classics.
Tina (2009-08-12 09:05:43)
I could read these ALL DAY. I want more!!!
ineedabmwx5 (2009-08-12 05:50:41)
Please, I need a new one! Come on!! Cant wait!
Jack Bauer (2009-08-12 00:28:48)
using fake names keeps me alive.
Derb (2009-08-11 22:05:53)
Throwing a reference e-mail with the Deer Hunter story line was an unexpected yet welcome transition. Again, a dopey parent who deserves all she gets... so many ways to go, so many idiots.
amy (2009-08-11 20:01:38)
you're fucking hilarious.
advice for hotgirl88 (2009-08-11 19:41:19)
Stop being such a fatass and maybe he will like you
phenx (2009-08-11 16:47:49)
That's possibly one of the funniest things I've ever read. Congrats!
christophe (2009-08-11 15:18:36)
maybe you can try something with us so that you have some partners who do this shit 2 its way to funny this is gonna be a popular website..
after a while you can add advertisement and get loads of money
anonymous (2009-08-11 15:07:54)
Dude this is awesome.. Thanks for making my Tuesday more enjoyable
kefera (2009-08-11 13:26:37)
hahaha!! my new fav, this is great! anyone who would trust a stranger to drive their kids anywhere is looking for trouble! stupid bitch
GiantDeuche (2009-08-11 13:08:26)
LOL so epic. OMG the IED/Ford Focus was so funny. Dude you played that one perfect, hahaha
hot girl 88 (2009-08-11 12:54:42)
:( its people like you that make me ashamed to post my pics
tohotgirll (2009-08-11 12:41:33)
If you were really hot you wouldn't be having this problem.
KarmaChameleon (2009-08-11 10:02:42)
So awesome.
yada-ha-ha (2009-08-11 09:26:07)
Love the last line from the Kate - "what the hell..."
almond eye (2009-08-11 09:10:05)
MAO! MAO! Di-di MAO!
whatever (2009-08-11 06:27:36)
Dude use RSS so that we can read it in an RSS reader.
anonymous (2009-08-11 05:49:18)
I would think that the HK 417 would be a little too big if you have to stop driving and grab it during a situation. The 417 is also more of a marksman rifle. I think the smaller HK 416 is a good choice for this, especially if the passenger has to operate
anonymous (2009-08-11 01:29:01)
Next time start off with "My name is Frank Martin." A lot of fun could be had with that :)
Dick (2009-08-10 21:50:08)
LOL i love the deer hunter reference
Susmarski (2009-08-10 19:16:03)
Get outta here!!!
HEMIwes (2009-08-10 17:07:26)
WOW, some people are completely whacked out of their gord!! This is by far my favorite one. Keep them coming Mike Partlow, you need to do this daily!! Definately brightens my day every time i read a new one!!
mariana (2009-08-10 16:21:36)
who puts an ad up trusting some random person with their daughter alone, in a car for an hour? what an idiot mom. but this was great.
MoreAdviceToHotGirl (2009-08-10 13:17:06)
You should post some naked pictures of yourself after you get him the beer. Post the address on here and offer to blow him and all us other posters whenever we want for the next year. He will really like you then.
Advice to Hot Girl (2009-08-10 13:06:42)
Hot Girl, he will like you if you send him a few bucks to buy beer. I donated some $$ and he immediately put up a hilarious new post and we are now very close. The way to a man's heart is through beer. P.S. He's as cute as he is funny
trini (2009-08-10 12:34:45)
Hilarious!!! At first just by the title, I thought you were going to pretend to be a pimp...but this was well executed!!! Keep it up
hot girl 88 (2009-08-10 11:30:22)
Hey does anyone know how to make this guy like me
Tom (2009-08-10 08:51:21)
You're gonna get in some shit. If I was there I'd kick your fucking ass motherfucker.
Habeeb monateff (2009-08-10 04:40:02)
the duncan stuff is so getting old, we need to find a new douche bag to single out
Legion (2009-08-10 03:24:36)
Rofld irl
Vag Pudding (2009-08-10 02:40:23)
best one yet. I'm still wiping my tears away, and my ass because I sharted so bad.
COL ANGUS (2009-08-10 02:02:18)
MIKE PARTLOW IS A GREAT MERICAN.
sam (2009-08-10 01:18:04)
one of the funniest things i have ever read in my life.
th0 (2009-08-09 19:54:04)
it was supposed to say greetings from germany... now it just looks stupid -.-
th0 (2009-08-09 19:53:01)
just found this site and just finished reading every single part. i can't remember laughing that much. i couldn't find a general guestbook/comment section so i'm just posting this here. please keep up the amazing work :D
greetings from germ
MNM (2009-08-09 17:47:43)
I love this website!! Please keep up the great work! I literally laugh out loud at my computer screen reading these emails. Pure genius!
Hoof_hearted (2009-08-09 13:46:57)
Keep up the insanity! AND also the insanity! Dont forget the insanity wwwwooooooohooooo
Lumpkin (2009-08-09 10:01:57)
Ha! You should write absurd responses to ads. If people reply foolishly, you could put them on a website. That would be funny! Plus, stupid people will post comments, I'm sure.
fraggle (2009-08-09 03:02:05)
more! MORE!
Duncan (2009-08-09 02:05:48)
AWESOME I GOT THIRD POST
anonymous (2009-08-09 01:47:26)
liked the post but am also impressed with this guys formidable knowledge of small arms, althought im a bigger fan of the 417 over the 416, more stopping power. doesnt matter tho cuz u cant import either
A (2009-08-08 19:28:47)
This is getting really good, keep it up!
Dom (2009-08-08 18:20:04)
Instead of a Ford Focus you should have picked a Toyota Prius Hybrid.
Like allways a classic :-)
fantastic... (2009-08-08 16:13:20)
I applaud you!
Cryo (2009-08-08 14:30:41)
That ad is pedobear approved
rss (2009-08-08 14:30:22)
for those looking for feedburner or rss feeds I made a temporary one till it's hooked up osweago.com/dontevenreply.php
anonymous (2009-08-08 13:37:04)
nick walken... brilliant... i love that movie.
Jazzy (2009-08-08 13:28:09)
funny. But not as funny as it could have been. Personally, I think he could have gone with a creepier character. And really no offense but going military with it made it not very funny. Still love it though. :) Keep up the funny mr. asshole. <3
hanlin (2009-08-08 11:39:49)
hilarious. one of the best yet
pedo route (2009-08-08 10:36:53)
= police involvement. Also, dungcan appears first in broken umbrellas
Mega64 (2009-08-08 10:24:56)
Most people would have gone the pedo route, but the direction you went was utterly fantastic. Well done.
awesomeness (2009-08-08 07:38:47)
epic lol. deer hunter reference was genius.
rss ftw?
topshot (2009-08-08 06:31:03)
lmao!!! that was funny as hell. and the referance was good to. I am a soldier i would hire that guy in a sec to back me up. lol
Skalla (2009-08-08 05:48:21)
@huh?
oh, there are a lot of stuff behind Duncan...
anonymous (2009-08-08 05:33:15)
hahahahahaha nice one... Please install feedburner!!!!!!!!!!!
ROTER SCHNEE (2009-08-08 04:16:46)
this one has got to be the best for me
anonymous (2009-08-08 03:57:33)
i love this site, but please... RSS!
kev (2009-08-08 03:17:30)
RSS... pleeeeeeeze.
huh? (2009-08-08 02:26:00)
Who's Duncan? Is there a story behind that?
Zeke4448 (2009-08-08 02:22:41)
Poor Duncan :(
Tarek (2009-08-08 01:01:42)
Without a doubt this is the best one I've ever read! Keep up the good work!
duncan (2009-08-07 23:54:42)
haha that's more protection than she needs to take her daughter home from soccer practice.
Harry (2009-08-07 23:21:19)
Love your work. But please please please add an RSS feed!
Mike (2009-08-07 22:50:00)
These seems like an amazing idea for a sitcom.
J.J (2009-08-07 21:20:51)
THIS GUY THAT GOES BY MIKE PARTLOW IS A GENIUS
Impressed (2009-08-07 21:01:10)
I am very impressed that you know about the HK416. It really is one of the best weapons out there.
Bob Loblaw (2009-08-07 20:38:50)
LMAO!!
lol (2009-08-07 20:33:40)
$42 (@$125/hr) for a 20-minute ride in a sweet convoy to a location that would normally take an hour is actually a pretty good deal.
anthony (2009-08-07 20:25:27)
yes, so good. RSS feed please!
anonymous (2009-08-07 20:05:13)
absolutely perfect. destined to become a top post.
AmericarunsonDuncan (2009-08-07 18:41:17)
RSS feed....... PLEASE..........................
Rutabaker (2009-08-07 18:37:32)
Hey 'yeah..ok', then you write the fuckin emails if you think they could be better, post them on your website, send me a link, and i'll stop by and completely rip it to shreds, douche
Mark (2009-08-07 18:28:48)
By far, the best one YET!
anonymous (2009-08-07 18:25:16)
What kind of parent solicits strangers online to drive their young daughter around? Fuck, she could have at least contacted a local taxi service, where at least that way there would be records of pick ups and drop offs if something were to (God forbid) go
Julie (2009-08-07 17:17:10)
That's too much, so funny:D I'd like to have a boyfriend with that kind of humor.
G-Ice (2009-08-07 17:07:38)
FIRST!
Lee (2009-08-07 17:06:15)
oh god. the deer hunter reference made it for me.
Mr. G (2009-08-07 16:31:27)
This has to be my favorite of them all, I was laughing so hard I puked up my big mac I just ate. Keep them coming. Cgibbs2@cinci.rr.com
Mr. G (2009-08-07 16:31:17)
This has to be my favorite of them all, I was laughing so hard I puked up my big mac I just ate. Keep them coming. Cgibbs2@cinci.rr.com
KPlan (2009-08-07 16:29:34)
On the people who're sharp enough to realize you're having fun with them, do you ever come clean? To me, that'd be part of the fun...like when Alan Funt (or, today, Howie Mandel) would come from around the corner to tell folks they're on
rotfmao (2009-08-07 16:11:45)
?? Roll over tom, f*** my a** out ??
FSU (2009-08-07 16:10:13)
Amazing...HAHAH! I love this damn site!
Duncan (2009-08-07 15:53:55)
I think what was funny was the flat reaction from the mother in this story. It contrasted nicely with some of the more outlandish statements Staff Seregant was making. Good timing on some of the humor points...8/10.
Duncan (2009-08-07 15:50:31)
I like dick in my mouth!
Rob (2009-08-07 15:36:24)
Lol that was good :) Keep it up
sitflyr (2009-08-07 15:16:08)
killed an entire truckload of insurgents with just a fork from his salad!!!!! ROTFMAO!!!
Masty (2009-08-07 15:13:19)
90% LOL, legend.
anonymous (2009-08-07 15:02:42)
That's some funny sh*t! ROFLMAO
d (2009-08-07 14:58:44)
I'd call the cops on that perv, then no more emails for us
yeah...ok (2009-08-07 14:50:00)
Would have been better if he posed as a convicted sex offender. Could have said she'd have to walk a mile first because he can't be within a mile of a school.
pj (2009-08-07 14:41:00)
i love the reference. deer hunter was great!
OPKnight (2009-08-07 14:27:01)
LOLLLLL. This was probably one of the funniest ones on here. Laughed the whole way out. But anyways, Cool story, Bro.
The Dude (2009-08-07 14:10:49)
Great story. Keep up the good work. A new one daily would kick ass. MORE!
Mike Partlow (2009-08-07 13:24:49)
Don't worry about the other 10%. Collateral damage.
anonymous (2009-08-07 13:12:07)
I love the "what in the hell..."
anonymous (2009-08-07 13:07:26)
90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed....What happened to the other 10%?
Heywood Jablomey (2009-08-07 12:58:49)
90%?
duncan't (2009-08-07 12:49:30)
Seconddd
Joshua Starr (2009-08-07 12:39:17)
Thank you for this. Always brightens my day!
hilarious (2009-08-07 12:12:43)
Hahaha...
duncan (2009-08-07 12:07:03)
first!!!
anonymous (2009-08-07 11:55:42)
your need a ride ones are the best! brilliant!!
barry (2009-08-07 11:52:03)
How ridiculous is this woman? She is just asking for her daughter to be molested/kidnapped/killed...if I were the admin, I would report this woman to the Family Services for being so stupid as to offer strangers the chance to drive her daughter.
what (2009-08-07 11:51:33)
haha that russian roulette scene is from The Deer Hunter.
Seymour (2009-08-07 11:33:19)
multiple grammatical errors. Make "do"? lol.
anonymous (2009-08-07 11:22:59)
@anon
"LOL @ driving an hour for $30 day, that barely covers gas. What a cunt."
Yeah dude, it's some uppity main line bitch, can't even take her kid to soccer. Not to mention the fact that she's willing to let a stranger from the int
M (2009-08-07 11:21:00)
Amazing
LMFAO (2009-08-07 11:10:27)
AWESOME
Tim (2009-08-07 10:59:34)
This is the greatest one so far. I loved it.
dungcan (2009-08-07 10:33:21)
Third!
anonymous (2009-08-07 10:26:07)
lmfao @ "he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad"
duncan (2009-08-07 10:19:36)
Last!!!
Frank (2009-08-07 10:17:11)
"Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field."
LMFAO!
Seriously, who the fuck looks online to find someone to drive their TEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. This twat opened he
anonymous (2009-08-07 10:12:41)
cant stop laughing... i have read all of your stories and this is one of your best, this is up there with Turtle Sandbox!
anonymous (2009-08-07 09:50:13)
LOL @ driving an hour for $30 day, that barely covers gas. What a cunt.
Me, Myself, and I (2009-08-07 09:44:47)
What happened to the rest of the emails that you took OFF your site? I don't see them in the archive either.
lame duncan (2009-08-07 09:37:28)
She only asked for a simple ride and receives an offer for a "security package." It is really funny because after receiving a message talking about guns, she remains interested enough to asking what he "really drives."
Angelo (2009-08-07 09:20:13)
Not bad, but I still laugh out loud when I think of last week's parrot calling you a "cocksucking grundle licker." Best line ever.
hahaha (2009-08-07 09:15:16)
yeah i totally agree with anonymous! that's super sketchy! i loved the email from nick :)
anonymous (2009-08-07 09:12:31)
HAHAHAHA...she totally deserved this, who the fuck looks for a ride for their 10-year-old online? I love where you went with this
Add a comment
|
